NES box art for Xexyz, the cover of NEStalgia episode 307

307 · Xexyz

▶ Game info

VerdictPlay it

GenreAdventure

ReleasedApril 1990

SeasonSeason 6

DeveloperAtlus

PublisherHudson Soft

January 12, 2024 · 1 hr 2 min · transcript available

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It's the year 2777. Due to nuclear wars and natural disasters, Earth's population has decreased dramatically and only five island are left, forming the nation of Xexyz. In Xexyz, humans, spirits and faeries have lived peacefully for centuries under the reign of King Xeu Star. One day, Xexyz is attacked by Goruza who murders the king, builds mechanical castles on each island and captures the queen of each island. You take on the role of a soldier named Apollo who wants to put an end to Goruza's reign.

Our verdict: Play it

Xexyz is a name that tells you nothing, and we spent the opening wondering who signed off on it (the 2006 movie Zizix Road came up). The manual's story is better than you'd guess: it's the year 2777, humanity lives on five islands in a nation called Xexyz, and the mechanical fortress Garuza has captured each island's queen fairy. As Apollo, a battle soldier in a cool suit, you rescue them. Mike, Sean and Joe played it, and it's a pile of ideas that each work a little.

What works

A loop with variety. Odd levels mix platforming and adventure: find the right star box, get the key, enter the castle, fight mini bosses. Then you climb into a vehicle for a shmup stage, fight the boss, and take a space scooter to the next island. It keeps rotating, so we got bored less quickly than we expected.
Shmup stages that know their place. They're slowed down and easy to finish, which suits a game that is only part shmup. Online takes called them disappointing, but a hard one would have swamped everything else.
Little touches. You jump into a different vehicle every time, which beats a plain screen change. Bosses fight you alone on a glider against black, so they got big, detailed sprites. The seahorse holding a gun, with another gun on its tail, won us over, and several looked like early Pokemon.
Personality. Frog kings, robot scam artists, fairies in bathtubs, and an economy so generous you can buy everything.

What doesn't

Stiff and janky. The jump has an awkward fall, and enemies move like shmup enemies even in the platforming parts, so you end up firing constantly. Shots don't always seem to land where they should.
Padding. You shoot a star box five times to open a door, and there are around six per level. Clue-givers want payment, so it isn't a puzzle, just a toll.
Coin-flip doors. In the shmup areas you get a top and a bottom door, and the wrong one sends you back to the start of the area. It isn't random, but nothing tells you which is right.
A strange first purchase. The first weapon on offer is a 45-degree bouncing shot, a tricky gun to hand you a minute in. The Buddha-like mini boss is nearly impossible without it, and we beat later ones mostly by finding a spot where they couldn't touch us.
Bosses repeat themselves. Great designs, then the same projectile patterns. And the NPCs who hand you money and keys never explain why.

The bottom line

Play it. Joe voted Essential, calling it a bite-sized adventure in the Rygar mold, and admitted it was a pointless vote since he wouldn't change it based on the others. The other two said no. Sean's reasoning: it does a lot of things and none of them all that well. So it stayed off the Essential Games List. If you want a little of everything on the NES, it's worth an afternoon.

Written from our conversation in this episode.

Click a timestamp to play from there. Landing a little off?

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Zexy's The Space Action Adventure!

And welcome to NEStalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. I'm Sean. And I'm Joe. Zexy's, and I believe we made this joke at the end of last week's episode, kind of sounds like sexy. And, you know, there are some space fairies just chilling in bathtubs in this game. So, I guess, like, I just conflicted, like, was it intentional to sound like that? Or is this really like one of the first games you can think of where they just didn't bother to change whatever the title was in Japan and it sounds very Japanese?

I'm pretty sure Zexy's is just an early member of Organization 13 if anyone is a Kingdom Hearts fan. So, what would be their original name? I don't know. I didn't think that part through. What would that be? What would that be? There's two exits. So, do you just get rid of one of them, I guess? Yeah, you just get rid of one. So, I think it'd still be Zexy. Yeah, yeah. Have you guys heard of the mid-2000s movie, Zizix Road? Absolutely not. No. Okay, yeah. It's spelled Z-Y-Z-Z-Y-X and then Road.

It was released in 2006 and it had Katherine Heigl and Tom Sizemore in it. And I think it's main claim to fame, aside from having an unpronounceable title, is it's box office gross was $30. So, when I started playing this game, I just kept thinking of Zizix Road. And, like, who came up with this title? What was the idea? Were they just trying to be at the bottom of all the catalogs because people would slip there? It definitely doesn't mean anything. I feel like you could get to the bottom of all the catalogs without going Zizix. You could just start with a Z and you're probably at the bottom.

So, that's probably a box office record, too, right? Or maybe there was a movie that didn't sell any tickets. I'm sure it's possible. Actually, no. Just looking at Wikipedia right now, apparently, there are other films that have lower grossing movies, like, box office figures. But that must mean zero, right? Yeah, it's up to Nostalgia the movie to break the record and make no money whatsoever. It's just the podcast, but we just put all the episodes together.

With no video. Yeah, well, no. There would be a video component. It just wouldn't be related at all. So, there'd be no reason to watch it. Or it could just be us recording. Like, it could just be, like, a video of me sitting in my closet right now, because that's where I record. You can tell by my audio quality.

But just the back of you. Yeah. Just, yeah. Someone... I don't even know I'm being recorded. Someone has to film me secretly. There'll be the next Skinmerink. Yeah. The end of the catalog, though, is probably the closest explanation I can think of, Sean, for the title of this game. Because... And not to harp on it. It's not that bad of a title. And it does sound like it's maybe a different English word. But if you look at some of the games we've played recently, Wrath of the Black Manta,

WCW Wrestling, like, people know what WCW is. There's some tie in there. Super C. Like, yeah, they might not know what C is, but super is a cool word. So you just think, like, wow, it's C, but it's better.

Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular. Again, another, like, IP that everybody knows. For the most part, you know, like, though these games, you kind of know what you're getting. And Zexy's, you have no idea what you're getting from that title. And we didn't bring this up at all with a game like Phazanadu.

So maybe it was always an issue with the games. And I'm just thinking of, like, a recency bias. But I just thought, like, I probably would have never bought this game just because of the title. Yeah. I mean, I think it does tell you one thing. And that is that it's going to have some, like, techno component. Like, these stupid words don't happen unless you're trying to get across space adventure. Except in the case of Zizik's Road. And I'm pretty sure it was just like a drama film. But that's what I usually get from these weird word.

Well, I guess letter salad titles. Yeah, I immediately thought Shmup. And which obviously isn't completely wrong. But this is definitely more than Shmup is not the main. Well, I don't know. Whatever. This is more than just a Shmup. There's a lot more to it. I wouldn't consider this a solely a Shmup. But yeah. Like, what else have we had? Like, what am I thinking of? Another X name that was a Shmup. Xevious? Xevious was, yep, absolutely.

All right. And then, yeah, the back of the box said the space action adventure. So, Joe, maybe if they just changed it to the Shmup action adventure, they would have satisfied all of your genre requirements for what the game actually is. Because it is a Shmup. It does have action platforming.

And it's also kind of an adventure game with some light, I don't want to call them RPG, but at least there's, you know, dialogue and a world and some currency system. Yeah, exactly. There's some form of exploration, even if it is just like once you leave the level, you've left it for good. So that's kind of cool.

But before we talk about the actual game, I wanted to go over the story because obviously you don't get a name like Xexis without a very interesting story included in your manual. And so I'm going to just read the beats. Feel free to interject. I'll kind of leave a little pause if you feel like you have something worth saying. But Xexis takes place in the year 2777. And I wondered, do you say 2777? That's long. No, it's 2777. Or do you say 2777? Yeah, 2777.

It's the year 2777. And Earth is now in a totally different atmosphere. Is that possible? First off, like, can that happen? What does that mean? Like the atmosphere of Earth has changed? Or like we moved to another atmosphere? Yeah, I guess. I took it as the atmosphere has changed because I don't think you can move to another one. Oh yeah, it's entirely possible. Yeah. You know, even, you know, in the prehistoric times, like we had too much oxygen and made all the bugs big. Read it up. Look it up in a book.

I imagine that this new atmosphere is a result of the numerous nuclear wars slash natural disasters, which can definitely happen, especially by the year 2777, because they're imminent right now. And as a result, the population has decreased dramatically. And all of the continents of Earth and all the landmass has been reduced to just five small islands. And those five islands formed a nation where for hundreds of years people lived peacefully. Can you guess the name of that new nation? Is it Zizik's Road?

Same ballpark, it's Zexy's. That's what the name of the game is, the nation that all of the remaining humans of Earth live on. It's kind of nonsensical, you know? Yeah. It's like, why don't, why aren't there like five nations? Like, don't you think the islands would kind of become tribe-like and not want to interact with one another? Adopt an element. Yeah. There you go. It always goes back to Avatar. It's, it's funny to think about like, it being, and like, if the, if all that you know that exists is one nation, is it even like a nation? Is it just like, is it just like everything? Yeah. No, that's, I thought about that. Is it just like everything? We don't need to get into the weeds.

Yeah. Earth exists in a totally different atmosphere because the Earth is now Zexy's. That's the new name of the Earth. Oh, I see. Yeah. I'm just picking that up. I know. Um, okay. So at Zexy's, aside from human beings, uh, maybe as a result of the nuclear wars, it's not made clear. There are also fairies and spirits, um, who, uh, you know, kind of have magical mystical powers and kind of keep everything in balance, blah, blah, blah. They take a lot of baths too, right? They have to, to keep clean and pure. Mm-hmm. They're washing away the sins of the humans that live alongside them. Ooh. But one day Zexy's was attacked by the mechanic fortress, Garuza, from outer space.

Zexy's did not have many weapons to fight back and was forced to surrender. So here's where things started to get weird. Cause now you're introducing aliens attacking Earth again. And it feels like the whole, everything I said before this wasn't necessary. Like just make it another planet or just have something with the, you know, like all of a sudden the fact that aliens invaded Earth is all of a sudden a lot more than a lot of the planet. It's more interesting and it doesn't have to take place in the year 2777. I can't say that right every time.

Okay. Just think 1776, but more. The whole time you were describing that. I was like, that's interesting that they like made it just like, there was nuclear war. There's not like an enemy that did this. And then it's just like, and then the enemy came. Wait, is this, is this just the plot of Battlefield Earth?

And so now the game starts to kick in because all of this is just, you know, implied you would never know it. So the game is that Garuza has built these castles on each island, captured the queen fairy from each island. And, uh, you know, you have to go rescue them across the five islands and you rescue them as the, um, battle soldier. That's what they call it in the manual battle soldier, Apollo. And, um, that's where the game kind of kicks off.

Now we can talk about, um, you know, I guess like there is a way to break this game down, but maybe it's more fun to just talk about Apollo first before you get into the weeds. Yeah. You're kind of just a faceless, uh, like cyborg soldier, right? Absolutely. I mean, cyborg though, like, or is he just wearing a cool suit? He's wearing a cool suit, but you know, Zexy's cyborg. Um, it, it sounds right.

Yeah. He, he's not, he gave me, um, oh, what is, I'm blanking on like the most obvious game. Sean, you love this game. Uh, is it bigger than a bread box? It's kind of like a shmup. And then it's also, it's like similar to this. It's like shmup. And then like levels where you're running around as a guy in a suit. Oh, uh, yeah. The guardian legend. No, it's, uh, uh, God damn it. It's a very well-known game.

Blaster master. Uh, gave me blaster master vibes. A lot, long, long road to get to that statement. I didn't get those vibes. Uh, but I do know where you might. I got the vibes from the character. Yeah. You're right. I get that. Yeah. Looks very blaster master ask. Um, but in, in, okay. Yeah. The, the game as a whole, uh, the, the character, the character as a whole. Um, I didn't really, I didn't read the manual. I did, I, I did see the, the year that it was supposed to be.

Um, I was kind of confused that like every, like you go into a lot of like rooms with people in them in this game. And they all kind of just like take your presence as a matter of course. Like you talk to like frog Kings and, uh, robot, uh, like scam artists and, you know, the fairies and bathtubs. And I was like, Oh yeah. Uh, just, just so you know, like you're going to need this key to go forward. And like, where do you, do you know me? Like, am I fulfilling a prophecy? I couldn't tell.

Yeah. I think that they, they could have done a little more flavor texts with those things. Cause really it's no, it's no different than like an early, like JRPG or, or even like, you know, like, like Zelda or, or, or Zelda 2, where it's like you go in and like, yeah, these people are giving you something, but like this game, it doesn't give you any. Like, I guess it just needs some context of like, yeah. Yeah. Am I walking through a town? And they're like, Oh, our hero help us with this. Or it's just like, I'm the next NPC.

I'll give you your next item. You need. The only context clues I could really get was, you know, you, you kind of start off each level in nature and then you move on to like the, the, the techno castle. And it's like, okay, I get it. Like nature versus tech technology. Like this is the evil place, but I didn't really understand everything going on, but I also, yeah.

I will say that at least with some of those like weird NPC encounters, a lot of them were like, you can, you can buy it by, by the fact that a lot of them are like, you want information, pay me for information or like, or they have a shop or whatever. It's the people that are just like, hi Apollo. Here's a hundred dollars.

That's a little weird, which is a lot of those. And, and kind of the way that Apollo as a character functions, you know, is a little bit on the, on the rigid side for controlling.

And, uh, I guess what I mean by that is both in his jump, which seems fine at first, he has an awkward fall in the jump where he like fall, like gravity is harder on earth than it was when, when I was alive. The atmosphere and everything. Yeah, exactly. So it has a weird, uh, fall function to it, but also the way that all the enemies in this game work, every single enemy has, and this is going to sound weird, but it has motion attached to it.

And okay, no big deal, right? Like enemies standing still is kind of boring, but I'm not talking about just like walking towards you or running towards you. Like they all have some kind of shmup like behavior, even in the platforming sections where they just kind of like lunge at the areas ahead, uh, or rather, uh, behind you towards you.

And so I found myself always in need of having to shoot because you don't know what's coming up and you don't know which direction it's going to kind of launch out at you out. And there's no consequence to not shooting. So I found myself doing a lot less of the desired, um, platforming, uh, of those stages and more just, you know, shooting always, whether I was in the shmup stages or in the, um, adventure stages, whatever you want to refer to them as.

And I just felt like that was, um, I don't know, a weird choice for a game that has different, um, different verticality to it and, uh, areas that you can kind of go into. And as you guys were mentioning, have dialogue encounters with people where they'll either give you tips, give you resources or, uh, whoops, yikes, it's actually a bad place. And you got to fight these dudes. Um, you know, I don't know if like, that's, that's really like a huge complaint about the game or just something that, uh, you get used to over time.

Cause I certainly wrote it down early in my notes that like, yeah, I'm constantly firing, but I guess, you know, in most shmups, you're constantly firing too. Right. Yeah. I think what's going on here is two things. You did mention that the movement felt strange and I agree with that. Um, it also, until you get the, the, the wing boots and then like, it actually feels like something that you can kind of play with instead of fight against. But that's, that's something else. I think what, what else sort of contributes to this is that I don't know if it's a hitbox thing or if it is just all of the enemies moving in a certain way, but it always felt like if I just shot at a thing, shot at an enemy, like it's not a hundred percent that it's going to hit.

Or like, or like, it'll just shoot just over the top of their head or like just under their jump arc. It just felt very, uh, if everything, it wasn't even difficult. Difficult is the wrong word. Do you know what I'm kind of saying? Like it just kind of felt janky.

I, I know what you're saying. I don't know if I saw it that way. I guess I saw it that way in some, for, for different reasons, like not like almost intentional reasons where like depending on what weapon I had, I felt like I was missing enemies because I was missing enemies. Like not because of the hitbox. It's like, you know, there's that like bouncy weapon and which like, it's like, it's kind of cool in some scenarios, but kind of terrible in other scenarios.

And like, I don't know if that was intentional or not, but like, yeah, there were times like that where I was like, well, I got to like really figure out how to line myself up to, to hit the enemy. And sometimes you don't have a lot of time for it, but I don't know if I noticed like jankiness from the firing, but it's definitely, it definitely feels different than other games than, than, that we've played to me.

Right. But going back to, to Mike, to your point too, about the, um, about like constantly shooting, I guess now that you have brought that up, I do see that like that, that seems totally true, but it didn't, it didn't stand out to me as a, as an offense, uh, as I played it. Like I, it didn't seem to me like it hindered, and I'm not sure if this is even what you were saying, but like that it hindered any of those like vertical, vertical moments or any of the platforming.

It just felt, it felt like in the, in a good way, I was playing a shmup where I got out of the ship and could walk around, you know, instead of, instead of flying a ship. And I guess to, just to clarify, like I brought up that whole idea of just like, oh, it just feels like I always have to be right off. I have to shoot like right off of where I would be. Uh, that made me just keep shooting.

So the very first level that you're in, um, again, as Sean mentioned, you start off in like the wilderness and then work your way into the castle. Uh, that's the first level. And those are the, you know, like odd numbered levels. And then the even numbered levels are the, are the shmup ones. But the, the, it goes further than just being like, okay, it's platformer shmup level, platformer shmup level. I'm really not sure I would call this, uh, these levels, these odd numbered level ones, the platformers. Because while there's certainly a lot of jumping and, um, you know, obstacles in your way and stuff like that. There's also a, uh, it's not just a side scrolling kind of level. You need to, uh, you need to collect certain things in order to progress.

And you need to talk to people or rather pay people money to figure out what to do. And so I was having this dilemma about if it was just a straightforward platformer, right? Then it would just be, you know, start at the left, walk to the right, make sure you don't die and just get inside the castle. And that's all fine. But if it's an adventure game, then it's also just kind of weird that it's all happening in a, in a side scrolling faction. And that there's not really a, um, you know, a larger, uh, role in what you're doing with the environment.

And if it's just an action game, I guess that's the closest that this, that these kinds of stages come to. But then the puzzle solving, I guess is what bothers me because in, in great puzzle solving games, it's move this, use this, find this to move on. And in this game, essentially you're just paying people your energy credits or ball credits or whatever they're called in order to find out the clue. If you, you know, if you didn't just happen to, to stumble across it. And so that's just not even satisfying.

And so I guess I, I'm looking for what's the solution here for, for the, uh, completion aspect of these stages. Should they have just made it so that you just have to get to the end of the stage? Should they have made the identifiable thing that you need, um, you know, like more required to like complete a specific objective that is relayed to you at the beginning of the stage? What are your thoughts? I did think that it was very weird that there's this, uh, um, there's this extra step.

You can't enter until you've done the thing. And the thing is usually shoot a star square. And I usually just accidentally ended up doing this because again, you and I, Mike, were just spamming shoot and you just have to shoot a thing like five times. And then it will open a door to get the thing you need. So it, it seems like padding. It seems like filler and you're not, it's not like showing you anything new.

It's just extending the level. Yeah. When I first got to that, um, well, it's the very first level when I got to the end of the level and then realized that like I missed something. And I know what one clue said to shoot one of the star boxes five times to open the door. I was like, that's dumb. You know, like, I don't, I don't need like it. It felt stupid to me, but then one of them, there's like four, like six of them. Yeah. And they're all, yeah, it's throughout the level.

But as I played more, it didn't bother me as much because it's like, it's not that hard to find. And, and I don't know, I, I, this game is very much like a game, like a loop, a gameplay loop. And I guess I sort of grew to appreciate the variety in that loop because I mean, you know, not to get ahead of ourselves, but let me just like lay it out. Like what, what the, what the loop is, is you have this, you have this first level where you're searching for something. You're searching through the level for the right star box to find the secret door to find like whatever it is that acts as the key to open the final door.

Then you go through that. And now you're in like what seems like some sort of like, like a dungeon type area where you're going through and you have to, you have to fight like little mini bosses and things like that. And, and I, and I'm probably missing stuff here too, because there's a lot, but then, then you get into a, you find like a ship and you get on it and you play a shmup level and you've got to choose the right path in the shmup level to get to the end of that. Then you fight like the main boss of the level.

Then you get on like a scooter and do another, like a, like a space scooter and do like another little mini shmup level to get to the next zone, which is the next place we have to search for something. So like I did get to, even though like it's very simple and it's like very basic in like, there's, there's really just like a few things and it keeps cycling through them in like, in a very predictable way.

I got to realize that I'm, I wasn't getting bored as quickly as I would in other games that are, that are similar to this one because of that variety. And because of that, I was, I forgave my initial impression about this, like searching for the, for the, for the secret door element. I was like, okay, it, it changes it up. And I know what, you know, it's like, I have a new mission in each level.

Upgrades in the game are optional and need to be purchased. You can't even refuse them, which was a confusing thing that I did because there's no dialogue choice to refuse. They just tell you like, do you want this? And if you press a, you accept. And if B you benign, right? Because that would be her denying the request, but with the B button. And so I, I, I didn't know why you said, I denied the, um, the first request for the power up, but I wanted it. So I said, uh, how do I go back? Let me accept it and everything. I was trying to figure it out.

I wasn't realizing that I was pressing the cancel button. Although I guess in hindsight, that's, that's kind of weird that I wasn't pressing B instead of A upon walking in. However, what an inspired choice by the designers to make the very first thing that you can purchase in this game and probably will, uh, create something that yes, is stronger than your normal, uh, straightforward shot, but comes with a 45 degree angle bounce shot. That needs to be like ricocheted off of walls.

And like, that just feels like such a, a late power up in a game where like, yeah, okay. Like this is challenging now. Like you might not hit the guy, but it's going to do a lot of damage. So, you know, make sure you get it right. It's like, no, this is like one minute into the game and you have the option to buy this.

Yeah. Like you haven't even really gotten a chance to get used to the regular gun yet. And now you've got this like weirdest, craziest gun. That's like the only other one, right? At least like, I know that you get like more of like a, like a, a faster shot at one point. You get the moon shot too. The one that like revolves around you, which is awesome. But like, it just, it's so strange that there are so few, uh, different upgrades and that's the first one you get. Yeah. Just for some clarity, because somebody will say, why didn't you mention all the other ones? Uh, there is the, uh, the wave ball, which is the, yeah, the one that, uh, shoots through solid objects.

There's the moon ball, uh, which sends, uh, an orb around Apollo. So that's kind of cool. It's like a protection layer. And then also a, uh, a shot of damage. And then the laser, which is just a constant stream of projectiles. And you can hold down, um, the A button for that, uh, to, or sorry, is it the B button? Uh, to just continuously launch that one. So that kind of solves the, I always need to be shooting something. Well, just hold the button down now.

Uh, you know, those are all great and everything. I, I, my only interest was just the decision to give you a really hard thing to use right off the bat because, uh, there is a, I don't even know if it's required. I guess you could call it a mini boss, uh, in that first level that, um, you have to fight and it's actually, yeah. And, um, it's a lot easier with that, uh, 45, you know, so it's like all the regular enemies suck having to hit them with this thing and you're probably going to take damage. But with the Buddha, uh, statue, it's like, if you don't have that 45 degree ball shot, I, I, I think you're done. I don't think you're getting it. I don't think you're killing them. And it's even hard.

It's, it's, it's still difficult with that shot. Cause like, okay. So you fight a lot of angry Buddhas in this game. Um, but do we know it's Buddha? I don't, I mean, if he's got a beard, it's not Buddha, but he's sitting that way. Cool. He's sitting in the Buddha way. I'll find out what his real name is. Um, and there's like two like stone pillars that if you like miss aim that bouncy ball, it's just going to get stuck in there and it's not going to hit anything. You got to like time it very precisely for it to bounce off the top of that pillar and, and get into angry Buddha's face. So it's still difficult.

I mean, cause you fight him on, do you fight him in every level? You fight him in other levels too. You do, I don't know if it's every level, but I mean, you pretty far into the game. You're still fighting some version of them. Yeah. Well, so at first I did use the, uh, that ricocheted bouncy ball shot. Um, and you stood in like a corner where he, he wasn't hitting me and just ricocheted around the room until it would hit him over and over again. But later on, I didn't have that power up. Um, I did find other ways always, almost always of cheesing it.

Like it was always like find the spot where he can't hit me, like get behind them or like get under them or whatever. But like, yeah, it always felt like a little bit like cheese, but it still was, um, you know, felt like a moderate challenge. But my, my reaction to first getting that bouncy ball though, was to spend way too long trying all of the, all of the eight buttons on the NES controller in different combinations to think of like, Oh, how do you switch weapons? Because there's no way that they would just give you just this bouncy ball as your only weapon, your primary weapon in this game.

But they do. They do. And speaking of inspired choices, uh, once you get inside the castle, uh, there's, there's sort of like different rooms and the natural way, uh, especially as a game designer that you would want, uh, your, uh, main character to find their way through and navigate a castle is through these air vents, um, which are not clear at all really that that is even an escape or, or leads to another room. There's a dude in a, in a room that tells you about them.

Right. But that's okay. So fine. Right. But still you have to know that that's what he's talking about is like that different sprite, you know, um, that, that I guess kind of looks like a vent, but then it's also like you have to take a leap of faith at it. Like you just have to jump into it and then you get sucked up in and come out the other end. And so, you know, not a real complaint or whatever, but just honestly just do a door, right? Like how does, how does, how does an air vent change the gameplay experience?

I mean, I agree with you that, uh, that these sprites, like when I look at it, if you just showed me a picture of it and like, we're like, yeah, that thing is supposed to be the thing you're supposed to go through. I would say like, yeah, no one's going to, that doesn't, who would figure that out? It just looks like a random little thing. But I will say that as soon as I talked to the guy that told me to go to the vent and I saw that, I was like, that's the vent.

So like, I don't know. So like, even though when I look at it, I'm like, yeah, you're totally right. That doesn't look like a vent, but like my brain did immediately think, okay, there it is. Also vents are a, a video game classic way of getting around places. Um, I think you'd have to call into question, uh, Metal Gear Solid and among others, uh, if you're going to say that vents aren't a way to navigate. And when you get to the end, I'm not going to question that at all. Leave that pause in there too.

All right. I'm going to ignore that and, uh, move on. When you get to, uh, the end of the, uh, odd numbered stages and move into the shmup, it's not some boring, uh, like just flash, uh, change of the screen says level two. And now you're, uh, you know, you're in like some space carrier thing and fighting other space carriers. It's instead this cool scene change where there's this little room where first it's like, is that an enemy?

Like, what is that? And then you jump, you jump into it and it's now your, um, your vehicle. Like you, you now like your sprite changes, like you're inside a vehicle and this changes every single, uh, time you do it too. So it's not just the same tired vehicle each time you, you're like, Oh, I wonder what I'm going to get, uh, each time. And so that's like a nice fresh way, uh, of spicing up the kind of transition between.

And I say that because the reason why I noticed it is that in the, uh, other areas where you go into and talk to people or, you know, go into their huts or whatever that, that is just a, a flash of the screen. And then you're just suddenly in the middle of the room and the person's talking to you most likely in a floating head or, you know, uh, in a different part of the room. And they're just aware that you have barged in, but it like brought you into the middle of the scene. Like you just kind of like cut into, like you lost some information or whatever. You're not by the front door. Like you still have to use that door to exit, uh, after the fact.

So I just noticed that it's weird that this has like a nice transition of an explanation like an in game, uh, you're, you're in control explanation of like how you're moving into the shmup stages, but everything else just kind of like matter of fact. Jump cuts. This happened. You don't land anywhere. Wait, no, you do land somewhere, but once you land and exit the room, then you're just in the world.

Yeah. Yes. So those shmup stages, uh, was it like every other shmup you've ever played? Uh, I kind of personally felt like it was maybe a little slowed down compared to normal shmups and made it a little easier, a little more tolerable. Um, could be a negative in an actual shmup, uh, for, you know, not being too easy. It's still, it's, it's still a possibility that you'll die. But, uh, in a game where that's not the only thing, uh, you know, you don't want an incredibly long shmup stage where, uh, if you die, you have to start from the beginning of the stage again. And so I think they, they did these right given the, what the rest of the game actually is. Uh, they don't overstay their welcome. The enemies aren't impossible and it is slow.

Uh, any additional thoughts? Because yeah, there, there, even these sections of the sections have sections. Um, when you get into the, like the shmup area, like there's one where it's like the typical crawl of a shmup and the enemies sort of approach in the groups that they come in in the shmups. But then there's a point where everything speeds up and you're kind of in a flapping bird area where you just have to not get crushed by these pieces of background that are coming at you. And like the, the background goes black and then, um, now you're in a boss fight and it all happens fast enough that you can forgive that it's pretty mundane.

Like there's not really much going on in these shmup stages. Yeah. And so I, I was looking afterwards, like looking at some, um, some takes online about this game. And, uh, one that I kept seeing is that the shmup parts were kind of disappointing and I, and I totally see why compared to like some shmups we've gotten that get like a lot of power ups and a ton of interesting enemies and are a lot more fast paced.

Um, and for me, this was just the right amount of shmuppiness for me because like, yes, it was slower, which made it a little more bearable, like not bearable, a little easier, a little more completable because it's not the only part of this game. Like I do want to get past these to move on to the next part.

And like, I, I don't, I feel like if suddenly the shmup levels were as hard, not that, not that that's what like the internet's been complaining about, like that they're not hard enough necessarily, but I feel like if they were as like robust and saturated as other shmups, as like a pure shmup, it would, it would overshadow the rest of the game in a way where I'd be like, okay, well it would take, it would be too difficult to get through for me, someone who doesn't love shmups. But, um, yeah, I, I kind of didn't mind it because it was just, again, like I said about the, um, about the, those first levels about like finding things, it was just like a nice

gameplay change of pace and it, and it felt like, oh, this is a nice new thing. I can see these like new weird environments with like different enemies that, that sort of fit the environment, even if they are just sort of like a palette swap of other ones. But like, yeah, it all just, it all just felt like it was trying to be a part of like a bigger thing. And I, and I, I appreciated that. The shmup difficulty length, whatever I'm all on board with the part that I have the problem with, which I'm amazed we haven't like snuck in yet at this point, is the 50, 50 chance of repeating the area.

If you go through the wrong door, you have a, uh, an up and down door. I don't know why I would have to describe it that way. What is it? A North South door. How do you describe it? It's a top and bottom. There we go. There were some other words that I could have used, but I'm glad we got there. High and low. Upper and lower. Yep. A North and South door. I like that. That's how I'm going to refer to my upstairs and basement going forward. Uh, are you going, are you going North?

Um, now that you've enjoyed that, let's get back to what I'm talking about in the game. The problem is, is that you're greeted with two doors and, uh, you might think like it's a choice and like it might influence where you go next, but it's really just that one is correct. And the other one loops you back to the start of the stage that you just completed. And so I've got to wonder, first off, how do these doors work? Is magic involved?

Are, do they have like bad fairies on their side or are they using our fairies to like use this magical power where you just go through a door, but it somehow is an infinite loop back to the beginning? Like, how does that door open? I didn't, and maybe this is just because it all looked samey enough that I just took it at face value, but I didn't see it as being warped to the beginning of the room. I just saw it as you go upper or lower or North or South.

And that may be the correct way to go. And, but like, whatever is one is an exit and the other is more level. Yeah. So I didn't see it as like a loop back. I just saw it as like, Oh, that's wrong. Do it again. But not, no, sorry. I just not again, do more. Right. But it is exactly the same, right? So, so I know you might not have noticed it while playing, but it is in theory since it is the exact same. It's not just like they built the same thing twice. You kind of just are going back. Like you're wrapping around to the beginning of the room again. Right. I definitely see that as a problem.

But I also didn't notice. I mean, I, so I've got, I got the wrong door at least twice, probably more, but at least twice that I remember. And I just, I also just thought like, okay, I got to keep going. Like I, like in the first couple of times, I wasn't even certain that if I had gotten the right door, that would have been the end of the level. You know, I feel like you have to, you have to play the game a few times before you start to like see through it like that and be like, wait a minute. Like this, this one is the end of the level. Not saying that that's an excuse for it, but like, that's just why I didn't notice it. I just also thought like, yeah.

All right. More level. I wonder what would have been in that other door, the South door. It is a less overt, but sort of more annoying game lengthening tactic. Uh, as the like search for the correct square to shoot five times.

Yeah. Uh, Mike, do you know if the door, the correct door comes down to RNG or if it's just like, like if I get the wrong door and then I come back to it, is it random again? Or can I just be like, okay, I know it's not this door. I go to the next door. Yeah. It is not random.

Okay. Well, at least that's good. At least you only have to do it twice. Right. And theoretically, that's kind of cool for map making. If you're into that during that time of like, just going forward, I won't make that mistake again. Like I'll make a note of it and all future playthroughs will be smoother. You know? Someone like myself who didn't realize that it was just bringing me back to the beginning might think that there's a pattern to it. I'm like, oh, I'll go down, down, up, even though it's like, like realizing now that I'm just forcing myself to play it twice.

Yeah. I think it'd be funny if you were like, the pattern's probably down, down, down, down, down, down, up. You're doing that same down like seven times for no reason. Yeah. It's funny that you played the level like 13 times and didn't notice that it was different. They're all, they all look the same. It all looks the same. I'm joking too that you took the door 13 times.

Yeah. And to be clear, it's not, as far as I know, that is not a hint that can be relayed to you by somebody earlier on, which would have been ideal, right? A secret room even that could parse that information for you. But instead, you're just kind of left to a coin flip. And believe it or not, the first time ever I played this, I flipped correctly and had to find out about it after the fact. I flipped correctly every single time. Really? Yeah. I don't know what the odds are on that, but that's pretty good. What was it, five levels where you got to flip?

Yeah, but sometimes there's... I don't know why I'm saying that as if like once you tell me, I'll know the odds. I have no idea what the odds are. I don't know. I don't know how... I didn't beat the game. But I'm saying there are... There's not just one per level either. You know, there's multiple rooms. So you have to... Oh, right. For instance, the very first one, you know, I had to guess correctly twice before able to, you know, finish even that first world.

When you get to the boss, it doesn't switch back to the platforming thing. In fact, you never fight a boss in the side-scrolling view. You only fight them in the shmup style. However, you're not in kind of whatever vehicle you choose, whether it's like your custom jet pack or a cool spaceship. Instead, you're on like some kind of glider and it's just you, a black background and an awesome boss sprite. Some of them aren't as awesome, but it's still like they definitely were able to do more because they only had you and the black background. So they were able to animate more.

I just think that there was a missed opportunity here, though, that every boss is just kind of like this awesome design. And then, oh, but this one shoots projectiles like this. You know, there was like this one shoots three at a time or like, oh, this one shoots big ones and followed up by small ones. It's like, okay, cool and all. But I just never felt like that was really the core gameplay experience, right? Like all the other enemies aren't necessarily like that. And so it just felt like at least even with the final boss, right? Like switch it up a little. But they did not.

Yeah. I mean, there's at least one near the beginning. I can't remember exactly what the design was. But like the pattern, again, it was just projectiles again. But it was sort of shooting out like these boundary projectiles that you could either stay outside of or stay inside of.

And then it was an eye. It was just like an eye monster. And then it would not randomly. It would sometimes shoot out its eye as well. So that was at least like a unique pattern. But I agree. There was a lack of variety here as well. And shout out to the bosses Shelza, Godoza, Loboza, Horza, and Garuza, which all look like early Pokemon like Parasect, Pidgeot, Steelix, Kingdra, and Tyranitar.

So I don't know. It's really eerie when you look at them, actually. Like Loboza, I know that the coloring is not the same, but that's basically Steelix's sprite. So what's going on there? I got to re-look at these guys. Look at them in the manual, too, though, because it shrunk down. It kind of looks closer to the scale of the Pokemon sprite. So you'll see it for sure.

But otherwise, like the boss fights, yeah, I mean, like they're not easy. They're not cakewalk or anything, but they're just not interesting either. I don't see it in the manual. Page 14.

I only have 12 pages. You're screwed. What the heck? The manual ends at page 13. That's funny. Page 14 is the back. Yeah, there's no. 14 is the image map. 15 is the bosses. So I see Genix, Demix, Shrix, Kamix, Zexix, Zibix, Dorix, Dolphix, Gardix, and Verdix. Really? Yeah, that's what I see, too. But those are the... They're the cyborg riders given by Queens. Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's the last page for me. But I remember thinking, I don't know if this is even in the episode, but I do remember thinking that like, wow, this manual doesn't really... I feel like there could be more of this manual. And there is. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. I can work off of what you're talking about, though, with the... You're talking about all the vehicles. Gen X. Oh, they're cyborg riders. Yeah. Cyborg riders. Sorry. That's a pretty cool name, right? That's like... That's where I got the cyborg thing from. Yeah. So there you go. But here's my question to you, okay? To go back to the very first thing we were talking about with the plot of this game.

You know, nuclear wars and natural disasters caused the population to decrease dramatically and only five islands exist. But apparently, for hundreds of years, the people, the fairies, everybody that lives on these five islands have lived peacefully. So why do they have all of this military equipment? I mean, you know, I don't see any guns on these things.

Maybe that's what's causing the peace is like they've been pointing these weapons at their civilians. A well-armed civilian population will discourage tyranny. It's really worth mentioning how awesome the sprites for these bosses are, though. I'm looking at that Kingdra one again that I was talking about. And no, I'm just saying, like, even in game, like, the one that's a giant seahorse that also has... The guns? All the guns. It's holding a gun and then it also has a gun on its tail. That is my favorite one, yeah. Yeah, that's really heavy.

So badass. I'd like to see him just show up in another game. Like, just not even connected to Zexy's. I thought you were gonna... I don't know why I thought this, but, like, I just want to see that guy show up at my birthday party. Doesn't everybody want Zexy's characters to show up Chuck E. Cheese animatronic style at their birthday party? Absolutely. They got rid of all those now, you know. Oh, yeah. Animatronics. FNAF killed it all. Yeah. Which is funny because I feel like the same audience likes Five Nights at Freddy's. I think so, yeah. All right, back on topic. We should probably do something that we do every week on Nostalgia, so it's not really a surprise. But surprise, it's the Essential Games List.

To start my Essential Games List vote, I'm going to quote a comment I saw on YouTube by Tonyaka30, which he wrote eight years ago. And so maybe you're listening to the podcast, but did you also think that a YouTube comment you wrote eight years ago was gonna show up on a podcast? It says, One of my all-time favorite NES games. I was never able to get past the first level, but the game fascinated me nonetheless. And I'm not sure that I understand, first off, Tony's inability to finish the first level. Maybe he just didn't dive deep into the game or whatever. Also, though, how he judges his favorite NES games if he was only ever able to explore a couple of rooms in the first stage.

All that to say, I think I have, like, the opposite take. And that by the end of the first level, I kinda knew this wasn't gonna be one of my all-time favorite NES games, and it wasn't going to be an Essential Game. By first level, I truly mean everything that that encompasses, too. The shmup and everything, you know, like that first world. Once I finished the, as Joe mentioned, gameplay loop and noticed that it was going to be that again out, I felt like there was a missed opportunity to maybe put in some more RPG-like elements

and, you know, by the end of this game, really soup up your character. I felt like I explored enough of the game to know that it wasn't for me early on. And then as I continued to play, I just got more frustrated with it. You know, at first you're charmed and intrigued, and then you start to go under the hood and realize, oh, that's what it is. And so that's all it is to me.

But I didn't hate my time playing the game, so this would kind of, I think, fall into my play it section, if anything, just because it does offer so many different types of gameplay between the platformer action adventure shmup game. Like, there's enough systems going on here that it's an interesting lookout on the NES. Sean? Yeah, this game does a lot of things. There's a lot of different ways to interact with this game. There's a lot of cool seahorse gun holders.

But it doesn't do any of those things all that great. I think that the shmup parts are competent at best. I think that the, like, sort of walk around and go into rooms part, those are fine. Nothing's terribly broken, but nothing also really stands out that much. And I really hate searching and trying to hit the right star box to get any further in the game. I do like the weird characters that you interact with, whether they're just, like, a box that you talk to, or, you know, a weird fairy in a bathtub.

I think it's got personality, but the game itself is kind of just, like, they just threw everything at the wall. So, no, it's not essential. Joe? I pretty much agree with what both of you are saying, you know, on, like, a granular level. There are a lot of things in this game. As I was playing, I was like, yeah, this could, this isn't, like, blowing me away, this part. But it's, like, it functions. It works. It's still moderately fun. But I don't know if I have this, like, weird, just, like, recency bias. But, like, as a whole, as a whole package, I did really enjoy this game.

It's, like, some of the simplicity of some parts of it and, like, the gameplay loop. And even, like, just how it's not super long makes it, like, makes it, like, a nice bite-sized little adventure. Similar to, like, you know, some, you know, not really similar in other ways, but similar in that, like, bite-sized completable adventure thing to, like, Rygar or other games in the past. And I famously also voted Rygar onto the essential games list, I think, alone.

And I might throw this one a pointless essential games vote here. I did kind of come out of this thinking, like, that was a really cool thing. Like, despite some of the things that we think, like, it might have been able to do better. Like, I think we've played a lot of games that try to do, that have this feel to it where it's, like, okay, you gotta search for this thing. And, you know, it feels like other games we've played that are bad. But it seems to do it right.

I like that. So, I'm going to vote it essential. In, like, the worst explanation of why ever. But, like, I am going to vote it essential. I know it doesn't matter. But doing that anyways. Moral victories are still moral victories. But, Joe, you are saying that you would have voted essential if it was on the line, right? I would never change my vote because of the other votes.

This podcast is too important to me to deal with the, to screw with the integrity of it like that. Right. No amount of money could influence you, right? Like, no millions of dollars. There's very few amounts of money that would influence me to do that. Speaking of money, though, one thing we didn't talk about. I want to live in the economy of this post-apocalyptic Zexus world. Because you are only ever given money, money, money, money. Anything you ever want to buy. Even if you don't need it, just buy it. Just buy it. You have more cash than you know what to do with.

Broken economy. Yeah. That's what peace looks like, people. Unlimited money. To finish out this week's episode, we did get a write-in. Believe it or not, you can do that, too. You can ask us questions. We'll answer them. It takes us a while, though, because this question was asked a few weeks ago. And so I'm sorry that we're just getting around to it now.

But Late2Gaming wrote in to us. That's the username. Wrote in, after playing through so much of the NES library, what do each of you think has been the worst game so far?

And so keep in mind, worst game so far doesn't have to mean, like, it could also just be, like, the biggest disappointment. It could be a lot of things. I'm going to interpret that as, like, what was my personal, like, I got no joy from this game whatsoever experience. I mean, there's definitely several levels to this question, because, like, I think games like I Can Remember and Perfect Fit, like, those are just pointless games that should have never been made. But they didn't anger me in the same way that some did. Like, I'm still not over, like, what Ghostbusters did to, like, oh, this must be the perfect way to make Ghostbusters game. Like, I think that was probably the most, like, what the hell were you thinking decision.

Deadly Towers is up there as just, like, one of the least enjoyable experiences. And then you've got stuff like the Rob games that never really would have worked and are just kind of silly, like, stack up. Like, but if we're going, like, the worst game that we've played so far, it really is tough. And so I feel like I have to go with one that I already mentioned here. I think it's got to be Deadly Towers, to be honest. Like, I just hated every moment of that game. I knew you were going to pick that one, too. I remember you specifically really hated it. We all hated that game, but you really hated that one. I did. I do. And I will.

Nobody could, actually, yeah, truly nobody can convince Sean, because on our Patreon-only Discord, somebody did try to defend it at lengthy paragraphs just for the sake of it. And none of us bought the bait.

Joe, worst? This is a tough one for me, too. But, I mean, all right, I'll put the obligatory, like, obviously, like, stack up is the worst or whatever in there. But, like, if we're not counting, like, you know, we are talking about, like, what I had the worst time with. I've got two answers. And this first one isn't my answer, but it's just an honorable mention, because this is a game that I grew up with, and I liked when I was a kid, and it was very disappointing to revisit 1942. Because I remember just, like, me and my brother, like, loving that game. And I played it again. I'm just watching this thing scroll really slowly to this beeping.

But, honestly, I think that the ones that I have, like, maybe it's not even just, like, one answer either, but, like, the ones that I have the least fun with, at least at a glance, maybe if I keep looking, I'll find something that's worse, but are the ones that are, like, track and field and stadium events and things like that. What was the one? Was it Winter Games? Winter Games. Yeah, you gotta, like, tangle up your fingers to hit the buttons in the right order to, like, just do, like, a ski jump or whatever.

Like, those just, I just don't enjoy those. And, like, I think they've aged even worse, in my opinion, because I think when I first played it, I'm like, oh, this is interesting. But now if I ever go back and play one, I'm just like, it doesn't feel like I'm playing a video game. Yeah. It feels like I'm inputting, like, information into a computer. And you know what? Maybe this just speaks to how I've been approaching playing these games. I'm approaching them too job-like.

Like, when I was playing, like, track and field and those, like, minigame-centric ones, it didn't really rub me the wrong way as much, because it's like, oh, you know, I'll just play this for a little bit. I get the gist. I can talk about it for however long we record these episodes. But, like, something like Deadly Towers, like, I had to subject myself to that for an amount of time that I didn't have to for something kind of as mindless and cheap as these track and field games. So, I get it. And I just wanted to throw that out there. I will remind you both that I love the track and field games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do know that. Get it out of your mouth, please. Keep track and field out of you.

All right. And then, okay, so what's funny is, is, like, yeah, Stack Up is not a video game. So, I didn't even put it there on my list of considerations. You just have to say it during this. That's all. I'll have to say it. Joe, you're right. And then Taboo the Sixth Sense is a video game.

And it does its job. So, it's not a bad video game. It's definitely not even the worst I've ever played. I was surprised to see that on people's list because it's telling you your future. Wait, are you saying? It's giving you your fortune. Wait, no, no, no. That's also not a video game. That's an NES application. That is a terrible reading utility. Yeah, I guess that's what I was looking for. But I wanted to be controversial and say that it was a step above Stack Up.

All right. And then I was looking at my list of games. And surprisingly, like, a lot of the ones that were in the running are the most recent. Okay? Like, I know that Joe was moderately fond of this game. But Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular really pissed me off. Especially when I found out. It's funny, though. Especially when I found out. Because that is sort of like a stadium event. But I did sort of like it. Yep. When I found out that that was just Donald Duck in Japan, though, and they just made it Snoopy, like, I would have taken the Donald Duck game. But not the Snoopy game. That's where I draw the line.

And so, no, that's not my pick. Like, then I was just thinking Tag Team Wrestling. Yeah. That early wrestling game we got where you have to do the menus. That was atrocious. To do your grappling. So, that's up there for sure. Then I went to Kid Cool.

Because that's another one that's pretty recent and just bothered me because I thought we were better than this now. And it just gave me... Kid Cool. Maybe it's the K for cool. Gave me all the vibes of something that was a unlicensed NES game. The kind of, like, Bible adventures or something. Like, you would get Kid Cool.

And we weren't supposed to play the unlicensed games. We actually haven't played a lot of the ones that are supposedly good. Because we're only playing the ones that were chronologically released in North America. And yet we still had to play Kid Cool. So, I'm a little angry about that. But my actual pick for the worst so far in the library is Dash Galaxy in the Alien Asylum. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that was weird. That game was hot garbage and came out around the same time as Kid Cool. So, it really shows you just how far we've grown. I don't think anything ever actually... Did I play this game? I don't think you were there. What the heck is this game? Yeah, this was such a strange game. This was like MS Paint. Yeah. I think we said that in the episode, too. Dash Galaxy in the Alien Asylum. It's like, what happened? I want to play this now. Yeah, check it out.

That's not a game I think fondly of. And there are... You know, we're 300 plus episodes in. We should have something that isn't unanimous. And we don't. All three of us came up with different answers. But I have no doubt in my mind about my pick. You know? Like, that's kind of scary. There's no other game that matches up. I definitely, like, blocked this out of my memory. But now watching it again, I do remember that this was a terrible game. And I just remember how poorly the jumping felt when you're in, like, the side-scrolling areas. And you've got this weirdly photorealistic guy walking around. Like, it just feels wrong. Everything feels wrong.

Yeah, the more I'm watching footage of this, like, every, like, minute or so that I scrub through, it's, like, it, like, gets more and more, like, a fever dream, just, like, mess of pixels. Like, I just, it just switched from, like, a, like, a blue screen with a number six on it with a bunch of square green blocks to then suddenly, like, a pink screen with, like, a grid in the background with just weird sprites of things all over the place. Like, like, a mess. Like, not even, like, in. It was a mess. I can't even describe just how much of, like, a garbage dump of sprites this looks like. We protected it from you. We protected you from it. Thank you. Yes, you protected it from me. You're the one who knocks.

Just keep in mind, we've played so many games, and so far, like, 70% of them are on our skip it list. So, just, you know, know that those are probably the best episodes, too. So, look forward to that. Look forward to more of the worst NES games. And please continue to ask us questions, because we'll give them this kind of time on the show.

Thank you.

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