079 · THE GOONIES II

• Introductions
• First Impressions
• The Movie
  • Did you see it?
  • What’s it about?
  • Did you like it?
• Tales from the Manual
  • The Fratelli’s are at it again
  • All The Goonies have been kidnapped. Except Mikey
  • The Action scene versus the Adventure Scene
  • If you get stuck in a dead end room try a hammer or hand tap
• Gameplay
  • Exploration
    • It’s Fun to play Goonies II
  • Enemies
    • Erratic spawns and control
  • Finding Items
    • Hitting walls
    • Candle - Hit an old lady 5 times
    • The Eskimo
  • Solutions to the adventure scene?
    • Was first person the right way to go?
  • What could make this game more compelling for you?
• Development
• Sequels and Spinoffs
  • This actually is a SEQUEL to The Goonies game. Only available on Famicom and Nintendo VS system (US)
  • The Goonies II (film) has never been made despite many rumors.
• EGL (Mike, Sean, Joe, Sam)
• The Goonies II Prototype - http://www.nintendoplayer.com/goonies/protos.htm

Auto-generated transcript. Each paragraph starts with its timestamp. Speakers are not identified.

00:00 The Goonies 2, Ma Fratelli's bad to the bone, so you better be badder.

00:21 And welcome to NEStalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. And I'm Joe. And I'm Sean. And can we just imagine for a second a movie poster with that tagline? Would you go see that? You better be badder.

00:41 The Goonies 2. It's bad. You better be badder. I guess it would be weird to have a second person movie though, where it's you. Yeah, like we're all of a sudden you're in the movie. You're participating. The only people allowed to see it were the people in the movie. Yeah. There's never really been a movie where you're the main character, right? I don't think so. It's usually like a first person movie. A first person movie. I would watch it. Yeah. Doom. I think that's all video games. All video games that are in the first person are you essentially.

01:13 Yeah. So they might as well be movies, right? Yeah, that's true. There is a whole thing for that. You know, like there's like people who take all of the cut scenes in a video game, upload it to YouTube and just say like, you know, Injustice the movie, you know? And it's like the Batman DC fighting game. Yeah. Just all the cut scenes. And it's like, well, that was actually pretty good. It's a pretty good movie. I watched it. You watched it? Yeah. Two hours of Injustice cut scenes.

01:38 There are two hours? That's the crazy part too, right? Is that the things are like movies. Wow. Like if you watch Kingdom Hearts, right? Kingdom Hearts, that's like an alternate life. Well, I know that- There's so much content in that. I know that anything Kojima-based is going to be like that too. I just thought that it was more just him. Does it- Now this might- I have never played Metal Gear Solid, so please forgive me. I know you're a big fan.

02:00 Isn't there like a hour and 45 minute cut scene at one point in Metal Gear Solid 4? In Metal Gear Solid 4, not at the end, but very near the end, it just keeps going. And it keeps going. I thought it was the end, but it keeps going. And then you play for like 15 minutes and then you go into another cut scene. Yes. No spoilers, but that kind of happens in Kingdom Hearts 3 too, where it's like, Oh, this is the point where I'll resume control and it just keeps showing you things. Yeah. So that's our grief with movies that become video games that actually were never movies and are now video games.

02:36 Right. But it's time for the Essential Games list now, right? Yeah. This is a weird story though, because now to get back on topic, we have Goonies 2. Guys, how was the Goonies 2 movie? We- It hasn't come out yet. Oh! It's a trick. It's a trick because he's saying video games are movies. That's why I said that before. No, no, no. It's true. We have not received a Goonies 2, though apparently there's something in the works.

02:57 Something's been in the works since 1987. Yeah. But, you know, since there was no actual Goonies 2 movie, it is kind of confusing that the very first game we get for any kind of like movie turned video game on the NES is this. This is our first like licensed property, right? Yeah, like official. Because I remember Kung Fu was kind of an unofficial idea. A French love story, yes. No, it was the other thing. But I know what you said. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, it was Meals on Wheels, right? Yes. Wheels on Wheels.

03:31 It could be either or, honestly. So, nobody else is like taken aback by this though. I thought that was kind of weird. Like, oh, it's a licensed video game. Like, it had a movie franchise. And then the very first game that we're receiving for it on North America is actually not even like a real movie. Right. It's just, this game is essentially the sequel to the Goonies movie. Well, I'm sure what you'll next say is that it's sort of misleading because it's not really the sequel to the movie. It's a sequel to something else. Yes. Right. Do you want to just say that then?

04:04 No, I want you to say it. Okay. Well, I think like, so this way everybody knows. The Goonies, this is made by Konami. Konami also made the Goonies 1 for like the MSX, the Famicom. And it did come to America in the verse system. Yeah, that's weird. So, that's like kind of weird that it only came as an arcade game. But this is the sequel to that game instead of the sequel to the movie. Video games at this point in time just couldn't have plots deep enough to be sequels to the movies they were replicating.

04:35 Well, I definitely thought that it was a mistake when I saw like, we got to play Goonies 2 this week. So, I thought we must, but I thought we must have to play Goonies 1 first. And then I looked it up. You didn't think that like Goonies 1 couldn't have been like maybe like an Atari 2600 game and now Goonies 2 is. You know, that didn't cross my mind. It should have. But it never crossed my mind. I hadn't thought until I think you mentioned something that I never thought that this was trying to be a sequel to the movie, the Goonies.

05:00 Just because I didn't think video games would do that back then. Or now. Do they even do that now? I thought there was a Goonies 1 game and you didn't know that. No, I thought that there must be a Goonies 1 game and we must have missed it. Oh, okay. And that's why I looked because I was like, we must have skipped it by the state. That would be a glaring error on our podcast. Yeah, I was like, how did you not notice this? Yeah, it's like all of a sudden the whole chronological thing is out the window because we played Ninja Gaiden 3 before 1 and 2. It's like, whoops.

05:25 So, before we talk about the game at all, since we're talking about the movie, who's seen the Goonies movie? We all have, Mike. Because I told you to. I mean, I saw it before. The trick question. I think everybody's hoping we've all at least seen it at some capacity before. I definitely saw it several times as a kid, but it had been a while, so I rewatched it this weekend. Okay, so Joe, some thoughts on the movie?

05:46 This isn't like a critical review. No, no, yeah. I only have very broad, layman's thoughts on the movie. But it still held up as being a good adventure movie. It kind of unlocks your inner child where you want to go on an adventure like that, probably minus all the actual criminals trying to kill you, but that's part of the fun. Yeah, it was good. Well, the Goonies is actually an exploration of the internal struggle of man between the haves and have-nots.

06:19 But regardless of that, it was fun. Yeah, I liked seeing all the things that would just become things that we made fun of 80s movies for. Like the end of the movie. Sorry, spoiler alert. The end of the movie where Chunk just adopts sloth. It's like, you're gonna live with me now. Yeah, that was- I always thought of that too. I laughed. I never think of that when I was a kid. He didn't ask his parents or anything. Did any of them consult any of their parents really throughout most of this movie? Like, remember when the mom comes and she goes, oh, the screen door. Like she can't realize that the screen door has just been obliterated.

06:57 But yeah, it's such a weird movie by today's standards. So it's so slapdash and the jokes. Yeah, it's also very like, I didn't remember it being so like fast with like the, not like the dialogue is fast and witty. It's just like fast and like kind of like, kind of just like there's no breath between like what they're talking about when they're moving on to the next thing. Yeah. It's a little, it's a little, little too quick, but, but otherwise, yeah. Yeah. And this just continues the ET trend of like, if there's a group of kids, they should always be riding bikes. Like kids in the eighties got together and you know, I mean, I rode my bike in the eighties.

07:35 I rode my bike when I was a kid. Okay. Yeah. I just think like that is now something that's like a, you know, stranger things, for example. Right. It's like you had to have those people. They kind of subverted a little bit and put Josh Brolin on a little kid's tricycle that he stole from a little girl. That was fun. Yeah. He never returns that. He never does. It's gone. So, so there's that, you know, that's my beef with Josh Brolin. Never liked him since.

07:59 Ever since he turned purple. Yeah. Get it. Yeah. Anyway, I think it's finally time to move off the subject of the movie unless anybody has like something where they're like, you know, I have to get this out because I don't want to talk about the movie anymore. No, that's it. Okay, great. So let's talk about the game then. Guys, first impressions, Joe? I actually, so at first there's things about this game that are, can be a little tiresome. There's little things like you go into a room and you've got to check every wall and you got to, it's a little tedious. But after a while, I kind of got into a little bit of a rhythm and I was like, you know, it's, this is a fun adventure. It felt, it felt like it was being an adventure.

08:42 My first impression was first, what happened between the Goonies and the Goonies 2 were now they're friends with the mermaid. Uh, apparently that's your final objective is to rescue a mermaid who is your friend. So obviously you have had prior knowledge of this, of this mermaid. Um, but other than that, in the actual like gameplay, I, I kind of saw some interesting, you know, this is the first time we've had sort of like a point and click adventure. Um, and it's really showing the, uh, the criticisms that most people have for this era, not this era of pointing clicks, but just pointing clicks in general of just bot to pixel.

09:24 Um, and yeah, but I, I still thought that the novelty of it was pretty fun, whether or not, uh, it's possible to play this game without any kind of strategy guide is up in the air though. Yeah. I think my first impression mostly had to do with just how charming the game is, you know, like let's forget the gameplay for a minute cause we're just talking first impressions here. And I really liked how it opens with like that Ma Fratelli setting up like the stakes of everything and that the other, uh, Goonies have been kidnapped and come on over if you want to help them. Right. Yeah. You know, yeah, the translation is not the best, but we'll get into that.

09:59 I just like that stuff because there's one thing I really liked about the movie on my rewatch was like that for before. Before they even get involved with the Fratelli's like the first 30, 35 minutes of that movie is so much fun. And there's a lot of comedy and a lot of slapstick stuff going on. And so having that charm translated in any way for the NES game, just like excited me. So I was just really into that. And you know, the, the difference of the action scene versus the adventure scene, which is something we'll get into in a second, but just that point and click stuff and just seeing the Dungeons and Dragons style layout. And I refer to the PC Dungeons and Dragons games at the time that the Goonies 2 was obviously copying.

10:39 Just, just seeing that I was like, all right, I'll give this a try. I'm down for this. I wasn't like put off by it. Right. And I just, you mentioned the, uh, Ma Fratelli and that cut scene where, where she's talking and her sons are next to her. And the one thing I noticed is that like, if you saw just that, that cartoon of her, you're like, wow. Yeah, that's her. That's what she looks like in the movie. The others. And then the other two guys are just like, oh, let's just put like generic, like clip art. They must have, it must be a likeness rights sort of thing.

11:06 Yeah, maybe. I don't know how they got Ma Fratelli's actress to sign off on that. To get like a pixelated version of herself. Yeah. All right. So with that, we will go into our tales from the manual section, something that is always growing in the nostalgia library. We're making that more of a thing. I keep saying tales from the manual. So. Good. I wasn't, I wasn't picking that up, Mike. Reinforcement. Yeah.

11:31 Well, anyway, everybody should break out the manual at this point. And I just want to talk about a few things. First off, this one does an amazing job on the like very first page that you open up with setting up the entire plot of everything. Everything you need to know and how to play on like a single page. So I thought that was cool. Set up like the welcome to slime city. They're back. Kooky old Ma Fratelli and her slime ball sons have returned.

11:54 Like, I just thought that was a nice way to set everything up. But just in case you were like confused about what game you were playing. Or just like why this is happening. Because like to your point, they don't, they don't talk about the mermaid thing. They're just like, and this time they've not only kidnapped your goonie buddies, but your good friend, Annie, the mermaid.

12:13 See, I don't think it is something that happened between the movie and this. I think it's just before. Like they were always friends with this mermaid. They just didn't acknowledge it in the movie.

12:22 She was in Atlantis at the time. Right. Yes. And then what else did I have here that I wanted to talk about? Oh. I don't like the art style though. Like these are not the goonies. Yeah. This is like, I'm trying to, this is like that, what is that? Um, schoolhouse rock? Yeah. That style. Yeah. It's like those, that animator. Yeah. Even Mikey, who you play as in the game, like he doesn't really look very much like, you know, and he's probably the most detailed here, but like the six goonie pals. It's like, I couldn't pick out any of them. I can't recognize any of them. Yeah. It's like, they just look like six people waiting at a bus stop.

12:57 Yeah. I really can't tell. So, and then also Annie, the mermaid appears to be like shattering the manual, but I guess she's just on a rock. Yeah. It's like the rock. I forgot the outline, the outer outline of the rock. Instead they just have like cracks in the rock. Right. It's like, she's cracking the manual. Now I can't unsee that though. Yeah. And, and then it goes into explain, and I think this is necessary if you, you know, if you want me to be honest, the action scene versus the adventure scene.

13:25 I think that's necessary for a game of this era. Right. Nobody had been exposed as yet on the NES. So I feel like the way that talk about what that is though. As I'm saying, we should get into that because I think like the way that they break it down is actually pretty solid. So Sean, you want to tell me the difference between what an action scene is and what an adventure scene is? Yeah. So the action scene is the typical side scroller that we're all familiar with, um, where there's

13:51 platforming and very easy battles, at least in the beginning, uh, where you just hit them with some kind of projectile or a yo-yo. Um, and then there are these doors scattered around, um, that you go into and that puts you into that first person sort of isometric view, not isometric, first person view of a room that has doors or not doors on all of the walls. They're all pretty much as square rooms and you have interaction options.

14:22 Like you can choose to use a hammer that you found and knock on the walls and see if there's anything hidden or just interacting with characters that you may come across. It's very, uh, like Ultima, like from back in the day. Ultima is a great example. Yeah. And I just kind of want to, let's just break that down even a little further. Right. So you, so you're given the options of go hit take and your tools, right? Yeah. So, so with go, you choose which direction you want to go in, which includes leaving the room.

14:54 Yeah. That might not be like a parent who don't realize that it's first person. You know, I don't know if necessarily as a kid, I would have understood right away that, oh, this is from my eyeballs. You know, like I would have probably still been looking for me in the room. Well, they also have a little tool in the bottom left corner that has a, another version of Mikey that sort of puts him in that space, uh, in a weird, uh, amorphous way. Yeah. Facing the direction that you'll be advancing.

15:24 Yeah. Yep. So they have that. Then there's hit, which to me at first seemed like, okay, so like, I guess when I see things in the room, I'll use my hammer, which is something you get immediately. Yeah. I'll use my hammer and just hit things. It never occurred to me like, oh, I should be hitting on the walls. Right. Yeah. You should just honestly be hitting and using your hammer everywhere in the room. Spot the pixel. Just, just, just decide.

15:46 Well, it's really which wall though, right? Like. I don't actually know. I think that. I don't think that you can like hit the lower part of one wall and be wrong and then hit the higher part of the same wall. I remember, I remember, uh, looking at a video to try and get farther because I couldn't figure it out. And I had already hit a wall that was supposed to open into a door. I will say that if I tried the dead centers, I was using a guide, but if I tried like the dead centers, it seemed to be working, but I never really tried like the left, right.

16:16 Yeah. You know? So maybe it is like, you know, you just have to be perfectly centered on each wall to tap. And hit usually is, it doesn't really do what you expected to do. Most of them hit lets you find things. Like that's what I know. It's like hit, you hit the wall and like a key will appear or you hit the wall and like something falls out of the wall or something. And then, then the hammer lets you like uncover something, like break the wall down and there's like a door or something.

16:40 Right. Yeah. And to Joe, to Joe's point, I think like, that's the opposite of what I would expect hit to do. I would think hit is more of a combat thing where like, Oh, I've seen somebody else in the room, like that Eskimo guy. And you're like, okay, is he bad? Like, do I hit him? Does he have any point? No, he, um, there, there's a really bad translation error with him where, where he, he essentially just says, there's nothing here. Yeah. There's nothing here, but it was actually, you know, in the Japanese version, I'm not, I don't have the perfect translation with me, but it was more of like a joke of like, how did I get here?

17:12 You know, like that's kind of funny in context, instead of just saying, there is nothing here. Cause he says like, doesn't he say I am Eskimo. There's nothing here. Yeah. That's exactly what he says. It's, it's, it's, oh, it's very close to, I am error, you know, like from Legend of Zelda 2. Yeah. Which we haven't gotten to yet. So don't feel bad. I don't know that reference. Okay. And then you have take, which is obvious, grab whatever you want and tools where you get to go through all of your different tools.

17:39 However, sometimes you need specific tools to do specific things in rooms and it's not abundantly clear which tool you need. So that just also becomes a game of like, let me try each tool. Yeah. See what happens, you know, like maybe the candle works here. Right. And to that point too, there are just a bunch of things that, things like that where you, you would never know to do this. I think I found this on online.

18:02 There's someone that you, you hit, you hit them and they say, they say something, some terribly mistranslated. Like what are you doing or something? Yeah. And they'll be like, well, why are you doing this? But you hit this person five times and on the fifth time they give you the candle. The candle. That's right. Yeah. It's ridiculous. And that's the, that's the most well-known example of that in this game of just very frustrating. I'll tell you what's funny is, is that there's a guy who goes by the name of the Mexican runner. I'm sure a lot of our nostalgia fans know about this. He is the, he is a guy who completed every single NES game that was released, uh, under clear definitions of like what it means to like complete that game.

18:42 His run for Goonies two. And he tries not to use guides when necessary. His run for Goonies two was seven hours long. Wow. Mostly him just going through trying to figure out what am I doing? Cause he didn't have a guide and didn't know how to figure things out. The chat was trying to help him out a little and it just became like this crazy thing where it's like, there's a guy who was really good at NES games.

19:04 He's beat every single one of them. And it took him seven hours to figure out Goonies two. Like there are some hints in the game that like if you, when you get the transceiver where you can talk to some of your, because you're trying to rescue the Goonies, uh, when you, and you were trying to talk to them. I, there's one where you're talking to whatever the blonde girl's name is.

19:24 Uh, but she says, I'm freezing in here. And it's like, Oh, I gotta go to that like cold world. And I'll probably find her in one of those doors, but nothing in the game at all says that you should abuse an old man or whoever that is. Uh, and just keep hitting them until they, you drop it. And especially because you need to do it five times. Yeah. You're well past the point where you're like, okay, nothing happens. That's yeah. That's the problem is that that, that first clue is actually okay. In my book, like it's a little vague, but I'll take it.

19:54 The, the hit, if it, if it's going to give you anything, it should at least hint towards the fact of like, ow, that almost hurt, you know? And then like change it each time. You know, like, I don't understand why you had somebody to get a candle in the first place. Why they couldn't just figure out like, Oh, let's hide this in a wall. The Goonies have changed. Yeah. The only thing that I could think of that's trying to, to, to beckon you to do that is that the person that greets you isn't like really nice to you. They say, go away. Okay. So I guess you're supposed to assault them then. Yeah. That's what you do to anybody who says go away.

20:26 Just let them know your stance on things. Right. And then they'll give you a candle. I will mention that in the, the last thing from the manual that I have is that in the game hint section, which is the final page, it does say very, very first thing. It says, if you get stuck in a dead end room, try tapping the center of the room with a hammer or hand mark, possibly use the hand mark and tap the ceiling, the front wall or the floor. If you try this with the hammer, you may be able to open up a secret passage. Who knows?

20:56 Now, who knows? You know, I, I liked that. I think that they also tried to pretend like, you know, like they don't know. That's just a vague thing. Yeah. Like maybe try it where it's actually like very important to the game. But it also seems kind of weird that this is the first mention you're getting of it is in the hint section of the game. It's never brought up in the game. And it just seems like a huge flaw. So I think what I'm getting at is it's nice that this action scene or no, this is the adventure scene, right?

21:22 Mm hmm. Yeah. It's nice that the adventure scene exists. It's really poorly executed on. I think that I don't know how much of this can be blamed on poor communication in the game, because I think that a lot of the more abstract game concepts that we've come across so far in the NES chronological exploration so far have been things that they had to explain the manual. Like you had to get to the manual to understand them.

21:53 Do you know what I'm getting at? No, I totally agree. I agree with that. I guess what I'm saying is now that we've talked about the go hit, take tools, like all these different things, slapping a person five times, like all those things. In hindsight, this adventure scene is a cool idea of like exploring rooms in the first person and being able to actually like tap on the wall. I do agree. But it doesn't work at the end of the day. Right. At the end of the day, this is the game's flaw. And the action scene, while not being more interesting than the adventure scene, at least that's like that works. Right. You know. And they got that cool song.

22:26 Yeah. That song is pretty cool. I do like that song. Is that have anything to do with like the Goonies theme or anything? I think it's a cover. Okay. Because I didn't pick up on it. Like I was like, I didn't remember this from the movie. But maybe I was supposed to. I will say that I didn't, I hadn't read the manual until like later, until after I had played for a while.

22:44 And it, granted, it took me a little while to kind of get the gist of what to do in the rooms. I did pick up on like, okay, so I can hammer the walls. And I did figure that stuff out organically. So maybe that says something about it being designed in like not the most confusing way. It's just those other things we're talking about that were, that you wouldn't, I would never have figured out. But I think that we kind of understand what you're supposed to do in those sequences because we have prior knowledge of games like that. We're from the future.

23:10 And we all, I mean, I also get what went in with the expectation that this is going to be way too hidden for my taste. Yeah, just because of the archaic systems that it set up for you. And I guess that's going to bring me to my next question. Was the first person approach the right thing to do here? Not in hindsight, just saying like at the time, is that like a, is that a neat enough selling point to say like, screw all the fundamental flaws with this. Let's let's ship this product with this first person exploration thing because it's a neat new thing for the NES.

23:42 I don't think that the actual first person mechanics are the flaw. I think it's just the level design. Yeah, I don't think it helps or hurts. I think it's just first person, whatever. Fine. But yeah, it's, it's the, it's the way that everything's implemented. The novelty of the game has helped by the fact that there's first person in it. But yeah, exactly what Joe said. It's just, it's not the system itself. It's what they did with the system.

24:06 Okay. I agree with that. I wouldn't think of a better way to handle like exploring different rooms and finding safes and stuff like that. Unless you just turn into like a Legend of Zelda sort of thing. Right, top down or something like that. But it's funny you bring up the Legend of Zelda because I did want to go to the action scene portion and just kind of talk about how, for me, that's kind of those situations where you're in the dungeon in Legend of Zelda and you get the item. So it's a, all of a sudden it becomes like side scrolling like that. That's kind of what this reminded me of.

24:37 And there, there's not really like, there's not really a lot going on here. And so I want to talk about like exploration in general and, and keeping you guys interested. Did you feel like as you move through the different areas that things changed enough? I think that the biggest draw was, was more like aesthetic changes.

24:54 Like you're, you're right. Like the, well, there was plenty with gameplay with like you pick up the, uh, the slingshot at one point and you got to kind of count your ammo and things like that. And then you get the boomerang and you get like different weapons and stuff that changed it a little bit as you went. Um, but also just the fact that there were a lot of environments. There's a lot, there's like, there's the bridge that you go across and you've got those skull things that steal your items. They steal your boomerang, right? Yeah, they'll take the boomerang. And then you have, then you have like the, the ice world, which has like the very, I mean, the very overused, but like slippery physics of the ground.

25:30 And like little things like that were interesting. I mean, it never got like crazy different, but I think that the, the idea of you have your map and you're exploring, you gotta remember, oh, and I gotta like kind of, I think Sean said this earlier, like, oh, now I gotta go back to that ice world that I saw earlier. And it, I think it, it more so rather than it all changing, it's like you learn the layout of everything and then you feel like you're actually exploring this like big environment.

25:54 Yeah, I think that the, the palette swaps help, but the individual screens aren't, um, I don't find them as memorable as they should be for good, uh, for, for good exploration landmarks in a game like this. And also the game has this whole front and back system, uh, where there are two maps where you can go between front and back worlds, I guess. And it just labels it on your, if you hit the start button, you'll get to the map screen and that just like labels whether you're on the front or back of the map.

26:27 I have no, very, yeah. I have no spatial like, uh, like boundaries for that. Well, wasn't that, didn't, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't that, didn't you switch from the front to the back by going through, going all the way through one of the first person rooms, right? I guess. And then you come out on the other side. That's exactly how you did it. But I guess like, I don't know if this is what Sean was trying to say, but yeah, I'm glad that the whole thing isn't just a giant warehouse.

26:51 I'm glad that it's changed by areas, but there's not enough going on or difference in, in the way that each individual screen looks that I'm able to remember like, oh, that's right. I'm on floor three right now of the front or, you know, or I'm in the back now. You know, I was able to tell like, yeah, I'm in the part where, you know, there's ice on the floor or, oh, I'm in the, the, what would I call it? Like the caverns or. Yeah. It's like a woods or, yeah. There's like cabins.

27:20 Yeah. So I'm in like that part. I was able to tell that, but it wasn't helpful enough in terms of like, I'm constantly referring back to the map and trying to figure out like, okay, I'm here. And now, you know, if you were lucky enough to get one of those locators, it would blink like where somebody was.

27:34 And even that didn't make it like so easy, you know, like you would be like, okay, cool. They're up in the top left. I'm in the bottom left. So I just kind of had to figure out a way to get up. And then you'd wind up being on the other side of the map all of a sudden. It's like, how do I get to the top left? Do I have to go through some of these doors and go to the back end and then come back out the front? It was, it was a little too complicated. And I think it says something where like in Legend of Zelda, right? You don't, you know, you can get the map as a bonus, but you definitely don't need it to complete each dungeon.

28:04 Whereas here, thank goodness they at least thought to include a map that you don't have to pick up the pieces for. Thank goodness it's just included in the game. And the difference is just good level design. Right. I'm just disoriented at all times almost. You know, I really, sometimes even going through the adventure scenes where you're going from room to room, I wouldn't be so certain that I came out the way I got it.

28:25 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It's not exactly like, it's not exactly the best example of, oh, I remember, I've learned the whole environment. I remember, like, I know the area now. Like, I think we talked about this with Metroid, where we were like, we've done enough backtracking and going around where it's like, I remember this area, I remember that area.

28:44 But I did have a little bit of it. I did have a little bit of time. I mean, the top couple floors I remembered. Yeah, but I would have a time where I would get something that I needed earlier. And I'm trying to remember what, maybe it was a ladder or something.

28:56 And I would get excited. I'd be like, oh, now I can go back because I have what I need. And I can go back to this spot that I remembered in my head where it was. But yeah, you're right. After a while, you start to lose it because a lot of it is very samey. Yeah. And something I alluded to when I was talking about the movie that I kind of expected here was where are all, like, the fun traps or, like, comedic moments in this game? You know, I think it is cute that you have a yo-yo as, like, your attack weapon.

29:24 I think it's kind of weird that you're being shot a lot. A lot. I thought that, too, that, like, it was strange to see, like, because I thought it was going to be, like, a goofy, you know, goofy bad guys. But they, like, put the gun, like, right up to your head. They're mafia. But then when you watch the movie, they have no, they're not shy around their guns. They shoot. They're going to turn Chunk's hand into puree. Right. That's true. And granted, there is a bulletproof vest in this game, but you have to find that.

29:51 I didn't find a bulletproof vest. I couldn't either. You don't have to find it. I'm just saying it's in the game. Right. There's a lot of interesting things in this game that kids shouldn't necessarily have access to. But then there's things that kids should have access to, like a football helmet or hyper shoes. Yeah. Everybody has hyper shoes. I guess the weirdest thing for me about this game is that it takes the movie, which is all about, you know, friendship and teamwork and getting along as a group. And it just takes one of you and does this whole, uh, go save everyone, but they're not going to come with you.

30:25 They're just going to run away. I love that point. That's such a good point. Why, why didn't you, after like saving one of them, have the option to like acquire his ability to use him? Yeah. Like, you know, if, if we're going to just jump ahead to a second to Super Mario Brothers 2, you can tackle each of those levels as Mario, Luigi, Toad, or Peach. And they each do something a little bit different. Exactly. It would be cool if you started off with like the Mario character, Mikey, and then like as you went through, it's like this one jumps a little higher. And this one is a little faster. You can switch between them. It's like the, who's the kid, the inventor?

30:56 He can have like the jumping shoes. Yeah. Like that's perfectly, oh, now you have access to the jumping shoes because you saved him. And like either he gives them to you or you can switch to play as him or whatever. They have a, they have a menu where you get all of these options to change things. You can just have that be another window. That's true. Yeah. So I think that's a missed opportunity and I don't know why they went with that choice, but. Yeah. It seems like after a while of playing this game, remember I said my first impression was it was really charming how much they were able to like incorporate that Goonies feel of exploring like the Fratelli's area.

31:32 And seeing that opening cut scene and stuff like that. But after a while in this game, you start to forget that you're playing the Goonies. Yeah. It's just another, it's just an adventure game. Right. Yeah. I mean, and it feels a lot like Zelda. It's riding on that Zelda success for sure of just, you know, another, you know, just looking at like even the way that they designed the manual. If you look at the Goonies 2 manual and you look at the Legend of Zelda manual kind of side by side, even the key art like looks kind of similar. So I'm sure that wasn't an accident on Konami's part.

32:04 Thank you. All right. And I think like real fast, we can talk about the enemies of the game since we haven't really covered that part of it. So as you're exploring the, you know, the areas of the game, you're going to run into a couple of different types of enemies. But do they, do they really change that much?

33:52 They change based on, I guess, what biome you're in. Right. You have the Eskimos in the icy region. You have polar bears in there too. Which one were the dragons in? There was like those green lizard guys. They're like these dopey looking dragons. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What were they? Well, there was also knights. It was the same one with the knights in armor. Yeah. Knights. There was knights. There was lancers. There's golems. Yeah. I don't know why the knights. Golems, right? Is that how you say that? I go golem. Golem, I think Lord of the Rings. Golem, I think these guys. Golem, I think of Pokemon. Well, me too. Golem.

34:26 Right. Yeah, it's perfect. But you just start off with spiders, snakes, and crows. And that's like, am I playing Castlevania? Yeah. I think that they just went for like a maximalist approach in this. Like, let's just throw every kind of enemy in here. There's no real reality to it. Right. Or like connection to the Goonies. Aside from, yeah, you can. They're walking around. They're the only ones that can't die. They're the only ones that have any kind of character to them. They replace Sloth with another brother, which is just a tiny Fratelli. Yeah. Cousin Pipsqueak. Yeah. You're talking about cousin Pipsqueak there.

35:04 And Ma Fratelli also, for what it's worth, doesn't look anything like Ma Fratelli. I think she's at least got the hat. Yeah. I think. I don't think so. No. I mean, like, it's like this blue man with like, they must have given it like a mustache or something. This sprite is ridiculous. And there's like a blue mouth or something around her. But like, it looks like a mustache. And it looks like she's like a wrestler.

35:34 It's just crazy. She may be a wrestler. Because the rest of the Fratellis, they get, you know, they have the hats on. One of them uses, Francis uses a bow and arrow. Yeah. It's weird. I thought for a second that that was just trying to get away from the guns. But no, they have guns. Yeah, there's guns in the rest. For the rest of them. They have guns in the rest. And, you know, the spawn rate of enemies in this game was obnoxious too.

35:56 Because like, yes, you have plenty of time to prepare for that dust cloud of the enemy spawning, which is weird on its own. But then like, you just have to kind of sit there and wait. And then the second it spawns, attack it with the yo-yo and move on. But sometimes it would spawn like right on top of a ladder. And it would just jump back and forth between the ladder. And you have no choice but just kind of like take some damage and make it out of its way.

36:16 Which was a little poorly designed. Yeah. So thankfully you have at least an energy bar and not like a one-hit KO thing. Because that would have really destroyed this game. And one thing we didn't mention too, every time you save a goonie, you get another full energy bar. So by the end you have like, you have what, like six times, how many goonies are there? You have like six times the amount that you had to start with. Well, you start with two. So yeah, you have eight. Oh, right. Okay. And that's pretty good.

36:39 I think that's like a nice bonus for getting the goonies, right? I couldn't think of anything better other than like, I guess, a specific bonus. But then do you guys think the difficulty ramps enough to the point where you need eight energy bars as opposed to starting out needing two? I was doing fine with two.

36:54 Yeah. I mean, especially because we didn't talk about this. Now I'm just kind of going in no structure here. But you don't, there's really not a consequence to dying, right? You die and you start kind of back right where you started. I guess I think your exit out the last door you were in. Yeah. So sometimes it takes you, I think if you're going across the bridge and like probably in other situations too, once I'm like more than halfway across the bridge, if I die, it just puts me on the other side of the bridge.

37:22 It's like beneficial to die. Wait, you so you crossed it that way? Yeah. Okay. I died and I was like, oh, I guess I'm on the right side, not the side I wanted to be on. So. I'd like to mark that as a positive for this game. If we're being honest. I would hate to start back at the very beginning.

37:36 Not even like in the sense of all progress lost, but just like, you know, I think it's cool that they decided, you know, he doesn't really need to explore all of that again. Yeah. Let's just drop him off right where he died and hope he doesn't die again. I'm glad you said that too, because I was thinking the same thing where usually in my brain, I'm like, I wouldn't like that. That would, that would suck because there'd be no consequences or stakes. I wouldn't feel like I'm earning it. But then when I'm playing it, I'm like, thank God it's like this because, so I feel like

38:02 it's, it's like, I like to think that I would rather there be some, some stakes, some, something to build the tension. But then I don't think this game needs that tension that this game is about exploration and adventure. I really liked it. It's funny because I think 30 years in advance, they came up with the, like the too easy approach to saves and dying, where if you die in the last of us, you just respawn right before that encounter. And that's pretty much every game now. Right. That's, or at least triple A. That's what I'm thinking of, like Uncharted and the last of us stuff, which is where I first started noticing it.

38:37 But even, even like now, Super Mario Odyssey figured out like, hmm, lives don't mean anything. Let's just lose like 10 coins, you know? No big deal. I feel that's better. See, I do too. I feel like there's still a place for the other, the other. Yeah. Actual hardness. Yeah. Like in a Super Mario game, maybe it's not necessary. But all right. If we're going to go off the rails here, I think that like Super Mario Brothers 3 did it right, where you, there are eventually consequences, but they're not like start the whole game over. You start at the beginning of the world. Start the board over. And I think that's like, that was like a good balance for that game.

39:13 So maybe the equivalent here is you start back in the beginning of the zone. Yeah. I think that as much as I did like it the way it is, I don't think it would hurt to like have that consequence. Start back at the beginning of the zone that you're in. Yeah. If you die three times or something. You're kind of leaning towards, had I liked this game more, I would have, I wouldn't have minded exploring it more. But because it was already a chore to get to that part, I really hope that they dropped me off right where I was.

39:39 I don't know if that's what I, I don't know if that's how I'm feeling. Like, I don't, I don't think I was considering it too much of a chore. I just think that, um, our time is worth more now. Yeah. It didn't, it didn't hurt me so much to, I wasn't in this for the tension experience of fighting one of the fraternities. Cause like, like the combat's great in this. This was more like, oh, this is fun to explore. The game is already long enough with how hard it must have been to figure out some of the

40:04 weirdest shit, like to get items in this game that they don't need to pad it with unnecessary difficulty. So I guess it is sort of like a little bit of what you're saying, Mike, where it is like a little too. Like a, like a 5,000 piece puzzle won't, like if you take too long to build it, it won't just spontaneously blow up. Right, right, right. And you can, you can take a pretty good amount of hits too, for what it's worth. Like even at the beginning, it's, it's, it's six hits and you're dead, something like that. Yeah. I guess it depends on the enemy too.

40:31 The, the crow I had a major problem with at the beginning of the game because. They gun for you. Not only do they gun for you, but they feel kind of erratic and then they just like all of a sudden make like this very fast straight line at you after like kind of psyching you out beforehand. And I just thought that was unwarranted. I just thought like, I haven't done anything to this crow, but also, you know, if we're just getting ethics aside, right. Between me and the crow.

40:54 I also just feel like that was, it's pretty shitty programming to just all of a sudden be like, you know, yeah, the snake kind of crawls towards you. The spider does the same exact thing. Scorpion's not too big of a problem. And then all of a sudden it's like, here's the crow. He just. Okay. Here's my head cannon.

41:11 The, the crow, a crow is known to have a very good memory and, and communication skills. So I think it's just, you probably shot the first crow that you had. These all remember you. Is it time for my crow story? You know, it's funny. It's funny that this happened because I was like, I was thought of that. I was like, I should tell Mike to mention the crow story. But I was like, maybe it's a post show. I don't know. Stick around for the post show. We'll talk about my crow story. Because this, that is his crow story. Yeah. Essentially. Real world. Yeah. Do we have any additional thoughts on Goonies 2?

41:40 Just one last thing about the enemies. First is, um, that I do feel like as we went further, not that the enemies got necessarily more difficult, but some of them took just an absurd and unnecessary amount of hits to kill. Yeah. Just like, all right, I don't need to hit the guy. I'm clearly, he's not hitting me. Like, I clearly have bested this enemy. Especially if you got the boomerang. You can just sit here for 15 minutes and hit him. Hit them from below them.

42:02 Um. But yeah. And if you have the Molotov cocktail. Yeah. The Molotov cocktail. Yeah. It's like, it's, it's just crazy the weapons they give in this game. It's like, you have a yo-yo. I don't even think I ever got the Molotov cocktail. It's like, it's hidden. Yeah. It's like one of the last things. But seriously, you have the yo-yo. Then all of a sudden you get a slingshot. That's, that's playful. Boomerang. I buy it. You know?

42:23 Underwater gun? That you just get because you have a diving suit? Yeah. It's with the suit. Yeah. All diving suits have underwater guns. When I buy a bathing suit, it comes with an underwater gun. Yeah. And so that was, that was it on enemies. But Joe, I think you had a thought on the ending? Um. Well, so I had a couple of thoughts before the ending. Okay. No, please. Take us through it chronologically. Just one, just one other thought now.

42:47 Um. That there, that there was a water world in general. Which shocked me. I did not expect that there was going to be a water world in this game. Well, they were in water in the movie. That's true. They were in, there was water. They weren't like. They weren't. Well, they swam. In a tundra though. So, I mean, I guess it doesn't mean anything. That's true. All right. Yeah. Um. But I didn't expect there to be like a full on like underwater, like Mario water level in this. Um.

43:13 And then on the water level, what you guys, I'm wondering if you noticed, several times on the bottom, I see. Ah. The heads. A couple of Moai heads. Oh, yes. They're back. Konami brings them back, yes. So, this makes it the connected universe, right? Yeah, you're right. So, it's just, it's just a whole. It's the same universe where Gradius happened.

43:31 That's a real missed opportunity for a cinematic universe. The Konami cinematic universe. I think we're playing through it right now. Right. It's not cinematic. It's whatever. You have Gradius, Goonies 2, uh, that whole Twin B thing with the radio drama and anime and stuff. And then now, Pachinko Machines. There you go. Everything's a Pachinko Machine now.

43:51 I'm sure at one point or another. Even Silent Hill 2. I'm sure at one point or another, there's been a Metal Gear Solid movie in the works. I think there was until very recently. And now that's like the Uncharted thing, right? Yeah. Where it's like Uncharted has just been in the works for a very long time. Like Spy Hunter. I hope they... Spy Hunter, yes. Great callback. Dwayne The Rock Johnson is Spy Hunter.

44:50 I hope they're in the works for a very long time. I hope they're in the works for a very long time.

45:30 I did want to talk about the ending a little bit. Did either of you beat it? No. So, but I do, I am familiar with the ending. And I want to just mention something after the fact. Because I'm not so certain that you're going to mention it. But it was just something that caught me off as weird. But you go first. Okay. So I didn't beat it. Full disclosure. I got decently far. But then I watched it. Nobody has any right beating this.

45:50 But in the end, and I wish I remembered exactly what it said. But in the end, you save the mermaid and like an announcer guy comes out. He's got like a microphone. He comes out. And he says, and so they went back to, you know, they did whatever. It's a live report of... Oh. It's a live report. Kind of like at the end of the movie. And you see, like, you see the Fratellis, like, get into the police truck. Oh, yeah. Okay. I did see it. And he, like, narrates it. And then at the end of the game, it says something like, congratulations, the Goonies and Konami.

46:23 So it's just like, it's calling out Konami. It's like being a partner in this. I think it's just congratulations to you, not to the Goonies and Konami. I think it's... Oh, like from the Goonies and Konami? From the Goonies and Konami. Maybe. I think I'm actually not even saying exactly what it was. It says, hurrah for Konami and the Goonies. Oh, my God. So it's definitely, like, directed at Konami. First, before the Goonies. That's the mermaid saying that, actually.

46:48 Your friend Annie the Mermaid. But she also says your name three times in a row. Like, it's like the worst sentence ever. Then she says she loves you, right? Yeah. She goes, first off, she says, thank you, Mikey. We beat the Fratellis. We, you are locked. And in fact, she's still locked up. I think this is the moment where, like, you save this Mervis. And then you're like, oh, man.

47:09 Yeah. Then she says, thank you, Mikey, again. As if she never said it the first time. And says, at last, I can go back to the sea. Right? And it's like, well, not yet. And then she, like, pulls you in with her. And she's like, you'll come with me, Mikey. Mikey. You're living with me now. She's like, she's the villain all along. Yeah. And that's when she goes, I love you, Mikey. And then that ends. And then the reporter goes. Very clingy. And I don't, look, look, look. I didn't, I don't know if this is, like, something that I'm finding out or if this is just known.

47:36 But the reporter also says that, like, peace has been returned to the goondocks. Is that, like, the actual name? That's the name in the movie. Okay. That's the name of the goondocks. The goondocks. The goondocks, yeah. The goondocks. Are you making this up? I swear. It's a town called Astoria. Oh, yeah. They call it the goondocks. They definitely call it that in the movie.

47:54 I swear to you. I'll look it up right now. There's a sign in the movie that says a story. You're right. Okay. It says, peace has returned to the town of goondocks. That's so stupid. And then the best part is it says, the end, the reporter saying that, right? Like, you know, all reporters just sign off the end. The end. But then what do you think you're greeted with afterwards, right? Maybe just the title screen, right? That's pretty normal, you know? No. I know what you're going to say. Maybe, like, you know, it's a nice thank you or something like that. How are you rewarded? Game over.

48:29 White text, black screen, game over. It's funny because there's not even a game over screen throughout when you lose. It's only when you're saying game over after the end. You would think that the end would have been enough, right? The end. Game over. Also, for the record, the goondocks is a neighborhood of Astoria in the movie The Goonies. Oh, is that what they were going to remove and put the whatever? Well, I didn't remember it either, and I just thought that was strange. I was like, is this some weird pun now? Like, we're just retconning where they live? Like, peace has been restored to the goondocks.

48:58 Anyway. But didn't the manual say they were in Slime City now? Slime City, yeah. So, where are they? Welcome to Slime City. That was the first thing it said. Oh, God. Slime City, too. That's just weird, right? It is. I don't know. Like, new junk city. Konami, you know, this is all attributed to, like, loose translations, too, probably. Like, the whole, thank you, Mikey, three times in a row, as if any English person says that. Like, thank you, Joe. You really helped me. Thank you, Joe. I appreciate it.

49:25 I mean, I guess, like, thank you, thank you, thank you. Maybe that's how you're supposed to read it. That would be a more sense, but it wasn't said like that. It just didn't happen that way. It just turns out she's just like a robot, an android built by the Fratellis. Whoa. I think it's time for a little game we call The Essential Games List.

49:45 It's our first time doing a movie game, or licensed thing, for that matter, even though Sean wants to talk about kung fu. No, I don't want to talk about kung fu. I guess, you know, what I'm getting at is that this has nothing to do with the movie. We don't vote movies into The Essential Movies List, either. We don't do that. But I think just to make things fun here for a second, give me your Goonies 2 Essential Games List vote, and then also give me your score for the Goonies movie, like, out of five. Give me your letterboxed score. You don't have to, like, justify it, but I'd love to know.

50:18 So, Joe? Well, as far as the Essential Games List, I did enjoy it. I'm glad I played this game. I think it was fun. I think it's a play it, to be honest. It did a good job of making me feel like I'm on an adventure. But, no, it's not essential. I mean, there's nothing, like, nothing that great about this game. There's definitely some flaws, and it definitely has a lot of things that you would never figure out on your own, things that are just not, like, well designed in there. So, no, not essential, but give it a try.

50:51 As far as my... So, you want my rating out of five? Out of five, yeah. Can I do .5s in there? Yeah, you can do .5s. I'd probably give it a 3.5. Okay. Maybe a four. Or, eh. Great. Yeah. It's a good movie. But, you know, it's... That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know. You know what my opinion is. Everybody knows by now. We know where you stand, Joe. I was hoping someone would interrupt me, so I didn't have to finish that thought. What I do want to talk about before we go over to Sean's thing, though, is you mentioned about the hard-to-find clues in this game and how, like, you know, that's off-putting. Do you think that you would consider putting a good game that has hard clues in the essential games list in the future?

51:30 Like, maybe clue? A good game that has... You know, like a good game that has, like, impossible... Like, you need a guidebook to play it. So, the needing a guidebook to play it is tough because... I guess it depends. I can't... Never say never. I mean, there could be... Never say never. That's all I need to know. But I do want to clarify, it's not that, like, it's the clues or the way to figure out how to, you know, what the answer is is too hard.

51:55 It's that it's just not really possible. Like, it's just that it's not really an actual, like, game. It's not a puzzle. It's just you just don't know the answer and you got to just try everything there is to figure it out. Right. Okay. Sean? Um, I think that The Goonies 2 is one of... I love when we get an experimental game because I feel like this game is very experimental.

52:20 I think it's a really good experience to have on this system. It was one of the most memorable I've had so far just because of how weird the adventure and action sequences are sort of smooshed together and then stapled together. I don't know. Um, but yeah, I mean, the action sequences aren't all that enjoyable.

52:44 The level design is kind of shit. Uh, again, the, uh, the point and the point and click stuff is really difficult in certain circumstances just to wrap your head around how anyone would figure that out. Um, I would play it because it is a interesting experience, but no, this isn't an essential game. Um, I think the, I would also give The Goonies the movie like a 3.5 out of 5. Uh, it, it's, it's a lot of fun. It's also just super weird. Um, but I, I would put it on the, uh, I would put drive, uh, from 2008, uh, onto the essential games list. There's no way drive is from 2008. Uh, it meant 2012.

53:35 Thank you. And thank you for putting drive on the essential movies, game music list. Yeah. It's the essential like aesthetics list. How drive hasn't been turned into a musical and, and when Tony awards is beyond me, but I'm willing to produce it if you're out there. So we're going to put drive on the essential games list. Drive is when we get to it. When we get to it. When we've gotten through all NES games and then all video games and then moved on to movies. Yeah. That's my plan by the way. Right. After we finish the video game medium, we'll move on to movies.

54:09 Anyway, I'm just going to echo a lot of what Sean said, so I'm not going to say too much more. I I'll definitely applaud the experimental stuff here. I really liked the mix between the action and adventure. It kept things refreshing for a while. The, the game kind of fell stale for me after an hour.

54:27 I think that's, that's where I hit my limit of just like, Oh, this was fun and neat, but now it's kind of worn off on me and it's a chore to find the rest of these goonies. Yeah. So I didn't wind up playing it for seven hours. Like the Mexican runner. In fact, it probably would have taken me a lot more time to be a game like this without a guide. I did start using a guide. And to be honest, that's just not a really fun experience at all for a game of this nature. I don't think it's a fun experience in, in most games. In most NES games. I will say that to be honest, there are a lot of JRPGs that I use guides for like appropriately to find certain things later on in the game.

55:03 And that doesn't kill me. I know that that hurts certain people's like gameplay experiences of no, you're just supposed to find that thing, but sometimes it's just really cool to have the bad-ass weapon. Yeah, that's true. So I don't, I actually don't hate using guides in games, but I think when your whole point of using a guide is just to play along with the person who wrote the guide, that's kind of weird. It's like, you're no longer experiencing the game. You're watching the game. You're just like following a set of instructions. Right, exactly. Which is not something that I'd rather build a table. Right. So I'm just not, I'm not going to vote this into the essential games list.

55:38 It's cool that it's weird and it's different. And I always appreciate seeing stuff like that. But at the end of the day, it doesn't, it doesn't capitalize on those things that it makes different. It actually, why is it becoming some of its weaknesses? Yeah. So I ain't going to put it on the essential games list. Now the movie, I'd hate to agree with everybody, you know, again, but it's a 3.5. The movie is a 3.5. But it's very fun.

56:03 You'll have a whole, you'll have a great time the whole way through. But I will say that for me, at least, the first hour is better than the second hour. And I think that that's not necessarily how everybody feels about this movie. Maybe they like it more. I feel like our audience is going to like this movie a lot more than us. Yeah, that's probably true.

56:19 Because it was of their time more. Yeah. I just think that I liked it best when the kids were just hanging out, kicking back, like. Breaking statues. Breaking statues of dicks and stuff like that. Kissing. I don't know if it was a statue of a dick. It was a statue with. They broke the dick off the statue. People are getting like weird notions about what this movie is. Yeah. Lots of weird. If you haven't seen it. Lots of weird sexual assault. You know, all that fun stuff from the 80s.

56:44 Yeah. And there wasn't. No, I'm sorry. I was just trying to think. There was a movie with a statue of a dick. And that was Why Him with Bryan Cranston and James Franco. What? Which is like a spiritual Goonies sequel.

56:58 Which is one of those movies that you don't watch unless you just like, I don't know. Like you've ran out of Christmas movies and you're thinking like, this is a Christmas movie because it takes place during Christmas at one point. Well, you should watch The Ref with Dennis Leary then. I don't know why I'm talking. Why Him is definitely more of a Christmas movie than Die Hard. At me. Okay? No, Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. I hate when people do that. Don't do that. You want to know something? I don't take, I don't have a strong stance on that. Everybody has, everyone is all up in arms one way or another. Well, you have to, you have to match the vitriol of your opponent.

57:31 Right. If you have, even if it's just the, you don't even have much behind it. It's just like, that's your opinion. I got you. I'm willing to learn from the other side. I'm not saying that that's my, you know, like that's it. That's my stance. But if the other side wants to explain to me why it's a Christmas movie more for than the fact that it takes place during Christmas, then you're, you know, you're losing me. See, what I need is two more people that think it's a Christmas movie. And then you, the four of you can try and convince me one way or the other. And then you'll get one more person on your, on your side. Isn't Iron Man two or three, I don't remember which, a Christmas movie?

58:05 Isn't technically any movie that takes place on earth where Christmas is held a Christmas movie? I think so. Yeah. That's a good point. Yep. And that's going to about wrap it up for this week's Nostalgia. Gotcha. Hope you enjoyed Goonies 2. You'll probably never see the movie, but never say never, like Joe says, because Steven Spielberg, I'm sure he's looking to reinvent himself somehow. Yeah. I'm really glad that you invented that phrase, Joe. Yeah. You never say never. Yeah. You know, I don't know how it comes. These things come to me. They just come to me. It's very uplifting. I like that idea. Never say never. Never say never to go into www.nostalgiacast.com.

58:43 Goonies never say never. Never say never. I would thank you for saying that. I was hoping you would say that and not Goonies never say yes, which is the official quote from the movie. It's everybody. No, I know. I was like, are you serious? You really serious? I think people would probably be taken aback if you didn't do that, so thank you for doing that. But I also love your genuine reaction.

59:06 I wish they could have seen my face of how much I believed you there. I was like, you really don't believe that. Goonies never say die, and you should never say no to going to www.nostalgiacast.com, where you can find all of our other episodes, my posts about how I feel about all the games. You won't find out how these suckers feel about games, because they don't feel like talking about games anymore. I'll get to it. Yeah, I got a little bit of a backlog of those. You got about 30 games now to cover. I'll get to it. Yep. This is like episode 80 or something like that. 79. This is episode 79, so that's pretty cool. That's crazy.

59:41 It's the 79th episode. Every episode's a milestone. Every second is a moment in your life, so just remember that. Right. How many seconds have you spent with us? We're grateful. And if you go on to our Twitter, every second we post how many seconds you've spent with us. We will start doing that. We'll start doing that. Everything that we say, Mike has to do. Yeah. Effectively, as soon as you, Mark, have finished listening to the episode, that's when we'll start. Don't call him out like that. Okay. It's not nice. Well, somebody we should call out is Sam Smith.

1:00:17 He's not here right now. No, he's here. Oh, wow. He's been a guest listener the whole time. Special guest listener, Sam Smith. He's just been chilling with us here. If you don't know what a special guest listener is, it's a special feature for Nostalgia where we bring people in to our little studio and have them just listen. They can't say anything. Yeah. We've had some real celebrities as special guest listeners. I'll never forget that time that Keanu Reeves just came in here and just sat Indian style. He just sat, you know, is there a more correct word for that? On the floor. Pretzel style. There we go. Yeah, he sat on the floor.

1:00:53 He sat on the floor and just listened to us and he liked it. That was, what episode was that, Sean? That was 49, I believe. Episode 49. So that's the episode after Kid Icarus.

1:01:05 I like that you know 48. Oh, wait. 49. That's, no. Rygar's 50. Yeah, you're right. Right. No, Rygar was when we had Meghan Trainor here. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Right. She was a big Rygar fan. Yeah. That's why she did it. In fact, if you're interested in Rygar, maybe you go to www.nostalgiacast.com and also maybe you go to our Twitter at NostalgiaCast. Maybe it's on there. Yeah, it's at NostalgiaCast. And maybe you contact me. On the 80th time, you'll remember it. And then maybe you contact me, www.michael.co.

1:01:43 No, that's at Esposito Film on Twitter. I've been posting a lot of comic stuff lately. So if you like old 1960s comics, that's what I've been posting. I will talk to you guys soon. Have a great rest of your week. Enjoy us next Friday. Go Bills. Go Bills.

1:02:24 Hello, everybody. And welcome to NEStalgiaCast's own Storytime. During Storytime, we like to bring one of our cast members in and they'll tell a very nice story relating to the game that we just played or something completely tangential.

1:02:44 So, Michael, would you like to tell your story? Sure. So, as you guys know, in the Goonies 2, there's an enemy called Crow. Yes. Crow. Based on a real animal. Yeah, they're based on a real animal. I was going to make that joke, but thank you. I'm sorry. It's not my story to tell that one. I got nothing else to say for the rest of this.

1:03:02 Well, you guys will react, I guess, to the story. But anyway, I have an experience with crows that I'd like to get off my chest and share with everybody and see if they have any personal crow stories of their own that they can contact us with on www.nostalgycast.com. This isn't plug time. There's a little contact button, though, and you can send us an email and let us know your thoughts. Anyway, basically, when I was three, I had a cat named Smokey. He was a big, gray cat. He was awesome. But he was very vicious, even with us. We couldn't pet him. He would, like, scratch it. I was just afraid of him at that point. So, I wasn't a big fan of Smokey. But anyway, I was three years old. He went outside.

1:03:40 Bunch of crows come down. Now, crows are just, like, in the neighborhood, right? Now, Massacre, where I grew up, like, that didn't have a lot of crows. They were just passing through.

1:03:50 Just drifting crows. Maybe it was that time in the fall. Anyway, they come down, and Smokey grabs one of what appears to be the baby crow of the group. Oof. Yeah. And he grabs it and gets it with the claws. And if I have to, you know, like, put it into words, I'm pretty sure he killed that baby crow. NSFW. That's a terrible thing to do. Okay? Especially to a crow. The only thing that would be more terrible is to remember that crows... Remember. And... Communicate. So... Did you guys rehearse this before? When you had a script, or...? When you have crows that remember and communicate, you can guarantee that for the next three years

1:04:35 of my life, and I'm only three years old at this point, the next three years of my life, there are crows circling my backyard, waiting for the chance for my cat Smokey to come out there. Now, Smokey was an outdoor cat, but we couldn't take any chances. And I actually remember one day, I opened up the door. I'm like five at this point. I opened up the back door, and Smokey comes out. And the crows come right for him. They've been waiting two years for this moment. I've been hearing calls over my house for years at this point. I just thought everybody has crows in their neighborhood.

1:05:06 You know? It's just something that's normal to me. We'd be outside. My mom wouldn't like it at all. You know, we'd be playing outside in the backyard, and she'd be like, those crows are going to kill my kids. You know? They never did. They never even came close to us. But I just always remember hearing those sounds.

1:05:20 And the crows come really down low to Smokey, and they got a piece of his ear. Oh, my God. Yeah. He had, for the rest of his life, he had a little, like, hole up in the top. The fact that they recognized him. Like, that's insane. And two years later, they never forgot. Yeah. So, anyway, eventually the crows go away. Smokey winds up living to be 21. Okay? So, that's incredible. Time jump. He saw through all of that.

1:05:44 But I remember, like, asking my parents. I was like, you know, there were a lot of crows here when we were kids. What was up with that? So, then they reminded me of the whole story and everything like that. And then my dad took it a step further and said that he would have to drive to work every morning at, like, 5 a.m. He would drive to work, and he would drop off at the train station. The train station's in town, still in Massapego, so, like, it's not that far.

1:06:09 And the crows would apparently follow him in the car from the train and back each time. So, they remembered your dad, too? I feel like maybe he was out there the time that Smokey did it. But they never came down on him, but maybe they thought that, like, we'll keep track of this family. Yeah. See if he's making any contact with other cats over there. Crows definitely never say never. They never say die. And they never say, I won't have another bite of that ear.

1:06:42 And that's why the enemy animation just goes to guns for you. They think you're smoky. Well, honestly, it didn't happen in my game. It didn't happen in Sean's game. It just happened in Mike's game. Yeah, those are the same crows. Thank you for listening to Storytime. Sean, do you have anything you want to plug?

1:07:04 That's Storytime, guys. I would like to invite you to the next Storytime whenever that happens. Go to bed now. Good night. Game over. Damn it. Bye. Stop it. We're going to do, like, a last word contest here? Oh, good. No, you definitely won. Good. All right. Great. Perfect. Great. All right.