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NES box art for Dynowarz, the cover of NEStalgia episode 296

296 · Dynowarz

▶ Game info
VerdictSkip it
GenreAction
ReleasedApril 1990
SeasonSeason 6
PublisherBandai
October 27, 2023 · 36 min · transcript available

This is a game of combat between giant mechanized dinosaurs named robosaurs in a faraway solar system named Spondylus. Mad robosaurs have overrun the planets of this man-made solar system and it is up to Professor Proteus to take the controls of the #1 robosaur, the Cyborasaurus. The goal is to get to the center of all 7 planets in this solar system and disable the artificially intelligent life support systems, which are guarded by progressively tougher defense.

Our verdict: Skip it

Advance Communication Company made this for Bandai in 1990, and the pitch is hard to beat: dinosaurs, war, and robots on top. We think someone picked two cool things, combined them, and skipped delivering on either. Each stage is a Mega Man-style platformer where you start on foot as Professor Proteus, then climb into a giant robot dinosaur. Both halves are dull.

What works

  • The look. An alien world, a guy in a space suit with a phaser, a robot dinosaur: exactly what a nine-year-old with an NES wanted. Joe said the pixel art deserves to be in a better game.
  • The satellite defense. Press Select and it wipes every enemy on screen once. The satellite hovers over you so you know you still have one, though it looks like a stray piece of the UI.
  • The launch fist. Very Mechagodzilla, and the most fun weapon, but you do nothing while it travels back to you.

What doesn't

  • The professor stages. Sparse enemies that never aim at you, tons of health, spikes that barely matter. When the core dies, nothing happens, and you backtrack through an empty level to reach the dinosaur.
  • The feel. A standing jump stops on a dime, a running jump feels too fast, and you can clearly land on a floating platform and fall through it.
  • No sense of scale. The dinosaur is the same size as the professor, so it never feels like a kaiju battle.
  • Power-ups that never add up. Four weapons with three levels each sounds great on a box, but a different pickup drops you back to level one, so we spent the game avoiding them.
  • A template for a game. Mike compared it to something made in Flash and posted on Newgrounds: every element is there, and nothing is done with them.

Worth knowing

The manual has a plot: a man-made solar system, infected life support computers, and a deranged former partner sending robot dinosaurs. None of it is in the game. We kept asking what the Robosaur program is for. A 30th century Chuck E. Cheese?

Every stage is the same with a different color. There is no fight with the villain. You shut off the last computer compound and it ends, like turning it off and on again. The end screen says "Congratulations, you finished another great game from Bandai." It took four tries to find a Bandai game that earned that, and it was Monster Party.

The bottom line

Skip it. Nobody voted it onto the Essential Games List. The professor stages are dull and easy, the dinosaur stages are tedious, and nothing changes after the first level or two. Fighting other robot dinosaurs should have been the whole game.

Written from our conversation in this episode.

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