350 · NARC

• NO ONE HAD THE GUTS UNTIL NOW
• What is the Gameplay Loop?
• NARC is a side-scrolling action game with a focus on law enforcement, where players control officers tasked with taking down drug dealers and crime syndicates.
• The core gameplay loop involves shooting or arresting enemies across various urban environments, progressing through levels while collecting contraband.
• Players have access to two main weapons: a machine gun and rocket launcher, allowing a balance between precision and heavy firepower.
• The game rewards either arresting criminals (non-lethal) or taking them out, with extra points for non-lethal takedowns.
• At the end of each level, players fight bosses, with a final showdown against the crime kingpin, Mr. Big.
• What are Some Key Features of the Game?
• Violence and mature themes: Rare for an NES title, NARC involves mature subject matter, focusing on crime, drugs, and violence.
• Two-player co-op mode: A significant feature, allowing players to experience the game with a friend, a standout in many action games of the era.
• Weapon variety: The machine gun provides rapid fire for smaller enemies, while the rocket launcher destroys both enemies and vehicles.
• Collectibles and power-ups: Scattered through levels are items like cash and drugs, which are collected for bonus points.
• Diverse enemies: The game features a wide array of enemies, including junkies, drug pushers, and attack dogs.
• Summary
• NARC is remembered for its aggressive anti-drug message.
  • reinforced through over-the-top violence.
  • featuring adult themes, such as drug abuse and sexual references, but with a cartoonish tone.
• The NES port carries the spirit of the original arcade game despite some censorship and graphical downgrades.
• Gameplay involves simple run-and-gun mechanics, with some awkward control adaptations on NES.
  • Key mechanics (like crouching and jumping) are poorly implemented on NES controls.
  • Thank goodness the NES can do full presses and taps
• Players are often overwhelmed by endless waves of enemies, making gameplay frustrating.
• The random key-drop mechanic to progress can cause frustrating delays.
• A driving stage slows down the action, and although brief, is not enjoyable.
• The final boss fight features poor hit detection and is especially frustrating.
• NARC was groundbreaking for its time with digitized graphics, but the NES port’s visuals are ugly.
• Despite censorship, some gore and violence were retained in the NES version.
• What are Some Other Examples of Games Like NARC on NES?
• RoboCop: Another law enforcement-themed action game with a focus on shooting and arresting criminals.
• Bad Dudes: Similar in its side-scrolling action style with brawler mechanics, although more focused on beat 'em up elements than shooting.
• Bayou Billy: Combines beat 'em up, driving, and shooting segments, creating a mix of action, similar to NARC’s multi-weapon approach.
• Contra: While Contra is more focused on alien invaders, it shares a high-paced, gun-based side-scrolling experience.
• What Makes it Unique/Different from Other NES Games?
• Controversial subject matter: Unlike most NES games which focus on fantasy or adventure, NARC tackles real-world issues like drugs and crime, which stood out on a platform often seen as family-friendly.
• Graphic violence: For an NES game, it pushed the boundaries of violence, with gruesome visuals like blood, body explosions, and disturbing enemy designs.
• Focus on arrests: NARC gives players the option to arrest enemies rather than just eliminate them, introducing a moral choice to the gameplay that was relatively uncommon in games of the era.
• Dual weapon system: The combination of a rapid-fire gun and a powerful explosive weapon in a side-scrolling action game allowed for strategic choices, depending on the situation.
• What Kind of Quality of Life Improvements Could NARC Have Added?
• Better hit detection and controls: At times, the controls can feel sluggish, and hit detection is inconsistent, making combat feel clunky.
• Expanded enemy variety: While the game has a diverse set of enemies, later levels feel repetitive, and additional enemy types or behaviors could have kept the experience fresh.
• Improved pacing: The game’s difficulty spikes dramatically at points, with better level progression or checkpoint systems making it less frustrating.
• Weapon variety: While the machine gun and rocket launcher are iconic, adding more weapon types or upgrades could have expanded gameplay options.
• Enhanced co-op mode: Adding friendly fire protection in co-op play would prevent players from accidentally damaging each other, making the two-player experience smoother.
• 2005 NARC Reboot:
• In 2005, a reboot of NARC was released for PlayStation 2 and Xbox. It kept the anti-drug theme but introduced new mechanics, including giving the player the option to take drugs to gain temporary power-ups, which was quite controversial.
• The reboot was received poorly due to repetitive gameplay, clunky mechanics, and its controversial handling of drug use.
• Appearances in Other Media:
• NARC made some notable cameo appearances, including in the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, where an arcade cabinet of the game was shown.
• Characters from NARC appeared in the animated TV show Acclaim Masters, a series that showcased characters from various Acclaim games.

Auto-generated transcript. Each paragraph starts with its timestamp. Speakers are not identified.

00:00 NARC. No one had the guts. Until now.

00:19 And welcome to NEStalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. I'm Sean. And I'm Joe. And we have a weird one here today because this could be the next line in Nintendo's edutainment series, right? We had Donkey Kong Jr. Math and now we have NARC. Yeah, I mean, I would like to slot in just before NARC.

00:46 I know they're not really part of it, but the Sesame Street games, they're definitely spiritual prequels to NARC. Yeah, definitely a lot of like, you know, scared straight kind of stuff coming out of Sesame Street and just showing what could happen if you don't learn your ABCs. I was actually thinking Sesame Street is like what happens when the war on drugs is over, right? Like when it's successful in the operation, everybody doesn't have a job well done. We can live in peace in a place like Sesame Street. Yeah, I can see that.

01:18 The menu. The funny thing about NARC is that the actual arcade game even goes a little bit harder. Oh, yeah. Like the extreme violence and, you know, anti-drug messaging and everything. But we're playing the Nintendo game and NARC is a side-scrolling action game, kind of like a run-and-gun game, like a Contra or Bad Dudes, games like that.

01:47 But you are playing as not a police officer because police officers don't run around the streets with AK-47s. No, you're definitely a police officer. You're a narcotics officer, right? Yeah. Like a DEA agent. Yeah, DEA agents, they get to walk around with Tommy guns, but, you know, regular cops don't get to do that. I saw Breaking Bad. Yeah. So the core gameplay loop as an officer of the law involves you shooting as many people on drugs. Drug dealers, drug abusers.

02:17 Yeah. People on drugs. Pimps. Street walkers, pervert clowns, meth creator scientists, anybody really. Dogs, too. Dogs, yeah. Yeah, but you're not killing those dogs. Yeah, what do you do? You turn them upside down. You turn them like small and then they run away. You turn them into puppies or you blow them up. Yeah, this game wants to be gentle with you. It's like, we're not going to let you watch a dog die, but we'll blow people up. It is really crazy. Sorry, excuse my language, but the narc episode is the F-bomb episode for sure.

02:52 It's so crazy. Like the content that's in this game. I just never, I just never expected it. Even stuff like Golgo doesn't feel like it doesn't feel like this. Yeah. This is like the definition of let's try to be edgy video game where it's like, yeah, you shoot someone with a rocket launcher and their limbs and head go flying. Like if you think of, if you think of how many other games have done like very simplified sprite work because it takes so much work to make sprites and then think of how much, how much effort they put into making a bunch of body parts go flying.

03:26 It's like that was a priority for them. Hell yeah. Yeah. But it's kind of like a crossroads, right? There's a, there's a strong anti-drug messaging here, right? Of like, don't, don't do drugs. Be the guys who take down the druggies because the druggie people are going to corrupt society and we're not going to corrupt society by, by killing them, but we're going to kill them in an ultra violent way. Like it seems like it'd be better if you were like tasked with just having like handcuffs as your weapon and you had to arrest all these people. No, no, no.

03:59 Yeah. You can, you can, you can bust them. You can do that. I did bust as many as I could just because I thought it would be, uh, there's something kind of, uh, uh, kind of devious about that. Like I'm kind of playing the game wrong, even though they allowed me to play this way. It's just like, not how you're supposed to play narc. You're supposed to destroy the degenerates, not, not put them into custody. Busting makes you feel good.

04:26 Busting does make me feel good. I think that they just didn't have time to put the, to implement the full morality system that they meant for this game. Morality system. Because I think it should be like, yeah, you can, you can get the good ending or the bad ending. There'd be a bad ending where you're just like a, you're just like a bullet crazy, like guns slinging guy killing everyone. And the good ending being like the pacifist run where like you only bust people. So you're saying narc was going to be like undertale? Yeah. Or like, uh, uh, another game that I can't think of the name. No, I don't even know why I'm using this as the example because it's dishonor. Ah, yes. A high chaos run.

05:01 Right. Um, I'm surprised. I just, you know, I just don't really know. I know that this is one of those games that like, you know, the old style arcade, like in the, like the attract screen would have like an FBI logo or something of like, don't do drugs and stuff. I can't tell if this was a game that was 100% designed to be like an anti drug thing or if it's, or, or if it's a little tongue in cheek, I really can't. It is. It is a hundred percent all in on the anti drug.

05:30 And the only reason I really know that is because if you think they went hard with it in the game, the manual starts with dear gamers. We at Acclaim are pleased to present NARC, the first video game for the NES with a strong anti drug message. NARC takes gamers through the supreme larger than life war on drugs with exciting colorful characters such as Max Force, Max Force.

05:58 He's the man whose name you want to say. So you'll say it like Max Force. Like, is that a song that you just made up? Uh, it's like a play on Goldfinger, which was a play on Max Power, which was a play on The Simpsons, which was something I set Joe up for, uh, before we started recording. No, I was, see, I'm glad you explained it. Cause I didn't even recognize that as what you were talking about before. There you go. Cause I don't know the Simpsons. You don't have to know the Simpsons. You just have to know that Max Force is the kind of name that like you automatically join the police force. If your name is Max Force.

06:29 That's true. Yeah. Technically that's what you can call any officer and they'll all look. You're just like, Hey Max Force. They all like turn their head. The reason that I say that though, is, is because the, the game that the strongest, like more modern game that I think of when I played this, uh, was Hotline Miami for obvious reasons, I think. But it like with Hotline Miami, it's go, it's doing all that for effect. Like it's, uh, it's kind of sleazy and stuff as a vibe and aesthetic. And it's not, it's not taking any kind of moral position about, uh, you know, uh, recreational drug use, but this is just that it's going just as hard as that. But I guess trying to send a message.

07:13 Yeah. A claim goes as far as to suggest, or sorry, the, uh, the CEO and chairman of a claim, Gregory, uh, Fishbach goes as far as to say playing narc is one way to express a stand against drugs. The real test, however, is your actions. So spread the word that doing drugs is no longer cool and join a claim max force and just say no international, which is a real like nonprofit organization in working to become the drug-free generation. So he doesn't have to be a part of the drug-free generation.

07:49 Like he's, is there another page that goes into the same kind of detail about pornography and sex work? No, that's fine. That stuff's fine. Are you sure? Because the, the, the game also seems to, there's a whole level where your characters go and like bust up the, you know, the, the, the skid row kind of area there, the red, you know, 42nd street in 1975.

08:15 Um, yeah, but it'll be fine. Once you get rid of the drugs, the strippers say they just can't be on drugs. I see. See, I, I'm, the more we're talking about this, the more I am convinced that the goal here was have all this very clear anti-drug messaging that like, yeah, that's what you're going to notice when you're, when you're reading the back of the box or reading the manual, when you're the parent buying the game, is the parent going to play through to the sex worker level and know like, well, there's all this, all this crazy shit.

08:42 No. Like, so it's like, yeah, okay. We're going to have a really violent explosive game that kids are going to love. And we're going to like sneak it into the parents, uh, like into their like Christmas list by being like, look, it's an anti-drug game. What are you going to play it to check? There's no internet. You can't look it up.

08:58 Yeah. It is the kind of game that teaches you more than you probably knew going into it though, too. Like, you know, and you have those anti-drug, um, auditorium things in high school and the principal's like, we know about your pill parties. And all of a sudden everybody's like pill parties. That sounds awesome. Let's have a pill party. You know, like they're, they're, they're telling you about these things in a way that you, I don't think the average, uh, 10 year old NES kid knew about strip clubs. Uh, what an adult video was.

09:29 Right. Exactly. Until they, or, uh, a killer clown for that matter. Right? Like that, that's another problem. No, no, no. It wasn't just a killer clown. It was a pervert clown. No, but there's an army of them too. It's like, there is a boss, but then there's also like, there's a bunch of them. Um, and I think like this game also does kind of go in the absurd direction, especially towards the end of the game. It starts off as a rather like, oh, okay.

09:53 Yeah. We're just taking down like some local drug dealers and everything to like, wait, killer clowns are involved in it. Are they from outer space? I guess not. And then it's like, you know, the identity of the, the reveal of Mr. Big in general, the guy who's behind it all, his name's Mr. Big. The reveal of that, which I won't give away right now is so insane that you actually have to ask yourself if you're playing the same game you were playing four minutes ago.

10:17 Because that's preceded by a level that is the complete opposite of like a red light district. And you're in like the more upscale area with a hotel called Lesnab and the banks are all there. And it seems to be taking a much more like anti-capitalist view of things. Uh, I'm not really sure where they're coming from here. Or is it just that anyone with money is also profiting off of the drug, uh, the drug trade? Is it that? Yeah. When there's drugs on the streets, everybody loses. I think I just wrote a claims next tagline. When there's drugs on the street, eh, when there's drugs on the streets, everybody's involved is I think closer. Right. Everybody's an accomplice. You're all going to jail.

11:03 Um, all right, moving into the game though, rather than just the themes. Uh, you know, I guess this does tie back to the ultra violent theme, but your weapon choices are not so much choices as they are just, uh, the same button. But when you press it, you fire a machine gun. And when you tap it, you fire a rocket launcher. It's like, those are some, some pretty extreme weapons again for just like some street combat as an officer of the law. Um, you know, the press and tap thing we can get into.

11:36 Cause I think that plays into all the different control scheme things, but even just like your weapons in general in this game being a machine gun and a rocket launcher, uh, pretty destructive. This is chronologically. I think the first game that I've seen Gibbs, I think the first time I ever saw like gibbing in a game was probably unreal tournament. Um, in the early two thousands. I know that it existed in some form before that, but I did not know that a, uh, an NES game in 1990 would show gross dismemberment in such a way.

12:10 Uh, what are Gibbs? Oh, it's, uh, when you've, you know, when you fire a rocket launcher, say in NARC, or if you fire a rocket launcher, say in unreal tournament, um, the enemy that you just fired at, uh, will burst into just a mess of flesh and, and blood. Yeah. I will confirm that. I think this is the first I remember seeing also because it was very surprising when you first see it. And then going into the actual controls of it though, like just to differentiate between the machine gun and the rocket launcher, it's the same button. So they work in this, uh, you know, press a full press versus a tap.

12:49 And, uh, you know, you can get into what is a half press. Uh, if you go into like super Mario 64 lore, there's plenty of, you know, debate on whether a half press is possible, but just the, we are actually really lucky that the NES for a two button four directions, select and start controller, we're lucky that this thing can tell a difference between a press and a tap because if it could only do a press, uh, games would be even more limited than they are.

13:23 And you would have problems, I guess, even with, uh, games that use it in one way or another as like super Mario brothers, right? You'd have problems with like the amount that you jump and the, and the, the force at which you jump. Um, but still because it's mapped to the same button, you have some other things too, where like the way you crouch and the way you jump is toggled to the same button. And that's kind of strange cause it's not the directional pads. The directional pads move you around the entire screen because it's a, you know, you can walk in all directions. So then to jump, you tap and to crouch, you press.

13:58 It's not, it's not as complicated as it sounds when you use it enough, but it is a little weird. Yeah. Weird. I don't know why. And I know this is only a solution for one of them. One of the pairs of commands tied to these buttons, but I don't know why they didn't use assign at least one of them to pressing a and B at the same time. I feel like that would have been like more useful maybe for the rocket launcher.

14:22 Um, cause I think having to press two buttons at once is kind of bad for a jump. Um, but yeah, it's, it kind of, you don't really have to jump that much. Yeah, that's true. The very end. Uh, but so it's not too big of a concern, but if you ever need to use that rocket launcher, it's, it becomes really, really silly trying to, trying to get that command out. See, it wasn't the rocket launcher that bothered me so much. It was the jumping that bothered me, which again, you didn't have to use too much, but cause I, I do, I agree that like the, the A and B would be good for the rocket launcher.

14:57 But sadly the rocket launcher is the one that I felt like I needed that the least, not, not the rocket launcher itself, but I felt like I needed a change to the rocket launcher controls less than I needed a change to the jump controls where I don't know something about, I guess, I guess it's because if I like, if I tap the A button or B button, wherever it is, uh, to, to shoot the rocket launcher and I accidentally tap for too long and it becomes a bullet. It's like, okay, I still shot a bullet. It's like not a big deal. If I tap the A button to jump and I crouch that, that hurts.

15:29 Yeah. And just thinking about how little jumping you have to do other than to avoid, um, bullets that, uh, you would otherwise not be able to like walk away from, uh, this game, while I said, it's like a run and gun, like a, like a contra it's, it behaves at least in its scrolling matter, more like a beat them up. Uh, granted you're not doing any punching or kicking or anything like that. And then the screen doesn't lock, but you don't have any kind of true verticality or shooting

15:59 up, you know, like enemies above you or below you. It's just, you're mostly walking in a straight line. That's even shown in the UI as like, uh, S for start and F for finish. And your character just kind of moving across that line. There's no like zigging and zagging. There's no like special doors or anything. So you're mostly just walking in a straight line. Like you would in a beat them up style game where you just have to kind of continue to take on enemies here.

16:29 You get kind of just have to crowd control. Yeah. And I, I know what you're saying that, you know, you don't, you don't move anywhere as significant in the Z space, but just to be clear, there is, there are a few tiles of Z space. You can still go around enemies, like, you know, it's not a complete like two dimensional line. Yeah. That would actually be weird. Right. Like Super Mario brothers, but with a gun. Yeah. Cause then, then the jump would get really annoying cause you'd have to jump over things rather than walk around them. And, and then that, that would be a problem.

16:57 Yeah. And you, you would think that, uh, some of these places would have like, like potholes or something you have to jump over to do some kind of platforming. But, uh, no, the, the pretty good foundation in all these places. So what do you think about, you know, the, the core gameplay loop, the, the waves of enemies, the, just like the locations change and the types of enemies change. So there is, there is variety. There's both variety in what you're seeing, not necessarily in what you're doing, but, um, it's a, it's a relatively short game, but a hard game.

17:30 I think because of the number of enemies that you deal with at any given time, what do you guys think about that? I feel, but the first thing I noticed about this was as far as the, like, just the gameplay of the shooting and maybe, maybe the music has something to do with this too, but, but the, the shooting and the action that's coming at you, it was one of the more fun, like combat controls. Like I, it felt good to use the machine gun. It felt powerful.

17:55 Yeah. The rocket launcher. Again, maybe it's the, maybe it's the effect afterwards, but it just, you, it does do a good job of making you feel like this, like unstoppable force that is like, even, even if you're doing poorly, it just feels like you're really, you're really going out there and you're like kicking ass. I think that there's like sort of some duality here with all of this criticism that we've had for the controls. But I think just the idea of crouch walking while also, while also shooting is part of it too, which I guess might be why, um, there, it wasn't like press both buttons at

18:28 once to do any one of these things because I don't, I didn't realize how just making that a fluid thing to do would contribute to that, the feeling of shooting in this game. It's cool. Should you have had more like police force style power ups, like a, like a shield you could pick up and like a riot shield that you can hold for a, take a couple hits from. It's too defensive. I need, we need like shotguns and, uh, and napalm. Yeah. Where's the grenades? Exactly. Yeah. I mean, definitely wouldn't hurt. I mean, honestly, maybe this would, maybe this would take away with like that immediate,

19:08 uh, high octane experience they're going for, but they give you the machine gun and the rocket launcher right away. Level one, the media, at least make the rocket launch like a pickup. So you can be, you know, so you can feel that progress. I guess I, I guess like I wasn't bothered by that just because it, it, from the very start, it's at full chaos mode.

19:29 I think. Right. Um, so I didn't really see much. There wasn't much ramping. I guess you're saying that you would like to see that. Yeah. I mean, I guess I would like to see more of what Mike was suggesting of like add more things later, but then I'm just commenting and like, it is weird that like everything you're going to have, you have at the beginning, even this like really high powerful weapon that normally we wouldn't see right away. I'm not saying I dislike that. It just, I think it did contribute to like, by the end I was like, maybe not as excited about the gameplay as I would have been if, you know, if they doled it out a little more evenly.

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20:38 And there's an interesting points mechanic going on here where we did talk about the ability to arrest rather than shoot. You get more points for that too. And the way that they handle the points, at least at the end of each stage,

20:57 is tied thematically with the actual game where you get an evidence bonus screen where all the stuff you collected as evidence throughout the level counts as your points and stuff. So you'll see the cash and all that pile up. And I think that that's a smart way to handle something that otherwise feels, in most games, just like a number that goes up. It feels like something to at least progress along. And sorry, I said cash, but that's clearly like drugs, right? Like cocaine. It changes. I think it changes depending on the level. But I would say that, yes, I like that they contextualized the point system

21:37 and did give you some kind of incentive to not just gun everybody down. But the fact is that it's way more fun to gun everybody down. So you don't really get anything for the points. So how much incentive was there really? Yeah, I think that like we've all gone on record saying like that points don't really give us much incentive ever.

22:01 Yeah, unless you're going for a full pacifist run like you guys were saying. Oh, right. Yeah. But like me specifically, I'm like, I would have also like, you know, if you're going to, I would look, I know I'm joking before about like the pacifist run thing, but I would like there to be some reward that contributes to the game in some way for like not killing someone and busting them instead.

22:23 Or, you know, I don't know. I don't know what that would be. But like make it make some difference to my game rather than make a difference to that little number that's just ticking on top of the screen that doesn't do anything other than give me bragging rights to all my friends that play NARC. I really like that the implication, if you were to brag about that, that you got like a really high score in NARC means that you weren't badass. Yeah, right.

22:47 Well, the end of the game even, you know, takes you to the next level two of like, forget about all the points you collected. At the end of the game, you are told. To apply to the DEA. Yeah, you've passed the training mission and now you should go get a job with the DEA. Could you imagine? I think that's funny. No one probably did it back then. But to do it now, like just bring in your like completed save file or something. And they're like, what the hell is this? And you're like, I defeated NARC and now I'm ready to take on the streets.

23:17 I bet you someone did it back then. I think it happens once a week. It doesn't because it's clear that it's not talking about like your character in the game. It says, it says like congratulations on completing our training simulation. Please contact your local DEA, you know, whatever.

23:33 Recruiter, yeah. Like it's telling you to like actually look up your local DEA and like contact them. Yeah, recruiter. That's what they say. So like you're they. I bet you a lot of kids thought like, oh my God, I'm going to be a DEA agent. And this is what they do all day. Exactly what I did in this game. And then speaking of the end of the game, we have to talk about the crazy ending where it's revealed that Mr. Big is actually just Mr. Big Head. Not like in Rocko's Modern Life. From Rocko. But yeah, I know. He's just he's just a big head.

24:05 And what is he even on? Like it's not like it was like a PCP. What is that? Sorry. PCP. Yeah, I thought. No, no. That's probably right. What is he even on? And it's like everything. He's done them all. He runs Mr. Big International. Like all you have to do is imagine like a very large head on a Roomba. Whatever drugs he's on, whatever. That's up to you. But it's a Roomba zooming around on a head. And after a couple of hits, he turns into a skull. But he's still alive. And he's got a long snake like neck.

24:36 That's all you got to imagine. Made that sound really simple. And the more I was explaining it, the more I was like, I guess it's a lot to imagine. But it is a lot. There's also the fedora and the sunglasses to think about. But then suddenly, though, in terms of like the gameplay, like we're playing Castlevania. And now you have to get like precision hits where previously you were just kind of mowing everyone down. And you got to like jump over stuff. And you have to like aim for that. I guess it's all head. But I guess you have to aim for the top of the head now. And it's it's completely changes the pace of the game. It's not like really a boss fight. Like it's still just a regular stage. And like the boss is in it.

25:20 But he doesn't have anything to do to you as long as you just stay a couple steps away from him. Yeah, you have to keep your distance, though, because he can just like theoretically run you over and continue. No, no. But like and continue to run you over to you get like stuck on him and take several hits. Right. But if you just don't let that happen, which sounds like I'm oversimplifying it, but it's really that simple.

25:46 He's slower than you. Just stay away from him. Shoot him. If he gets even halfway to you, just walk away and then keep shooting him. And you've won the game. It sounds like you're talking about Mr. X from Resident Evil.

25:59 Maybe. Honestly, I bet you. So I haven't played Resident Evil. But as I said, you know, the just walk away part. I bet you it was a metaphor for what you're supposed to do when faced with drugs. Just walk away and you'll win. No, no, no, no. Let's end the episode right there. You have to. OK, we can. But since this is post episode, you have to punish them. Punish the degenerates, Joe. Don't walk away. But this is the game is telling you to walk away and then turn around and shoot them from a safe distance. And then turn around and shoot. Yes. OK. One thing we forgot to mention, because I just couldn't wait to talk about the end of the game. Throughout the game, there's also what you would think is a police car, but it's actually the Narc Mobile.

26:39 That's what it's referred to as in the manual, the Narc Mobile. And what kind of car is that? I think it says somewhere. That is Lightning McQueen from Cars. OK. It's also a Ferrari or something. A Porsche 911, apparently. A Porsche 911 Turbo Carrera Narc Mobile. Wow. According to the manual. So, yeah, they got really specific with it. But, yeah, you also ride that thing. I forgot about. Yeah, there's the driving portions that kind of suck. There's lots of, like, dumpsters that are stacked on top of each other that, I guess, tell you to get out of the car. It's weird.

27:18 There's landmines. Yeah. But just for the vehicle, not like ever else when you're on foot. There's never landmines to watch out for. Only landmines on the highway. And then on the sequels and spinoff side here, believe it or not, Narc was, like, given a TV show. I didn't know that. I don't know if it's like... Is it the same, like, guys with the motorcycle helmets as the main characters? Yeah. It's the characters from Narc, so probably Max Force.

27:46 It was in a TV show, Acclaim Masters, which must have been Acclaim's doing, obviously. And it had, like, you know, various other characters from that game. But Narc being, like, you know, they should have also been in that super celebrity animated Power Hour thing that was also anti-drug with Bugs Bunny and Winnie the Pooh. And do you guys know what I'm talking about? Scooby-Doo was in it, too. I don't know. The Ninja Turtles were in it. It was, like, a huge anti-drug thing with, like, hundreds of cartoon... Hundreds of notable cartoon characters all, like, teaming up to take down drugs. Narc should have been there. You're not thinking of We Are The World?

28:26 No, no. That was Real People. Oh, okay. I always confuse those with cartoon characters. Yeah, yeah. I think I've heard Scooby-Doo in We Are The World. Now, how about the real sequel and spinoff? Yeah, the real sequel and spinoff is that in 2005, a reboot of Narc was released. For PS2 and Xbox. And it did keep the anti-drug theme. And also, it gave you the player... I can't believe I'm saying this. But it gave players the options to take drugs. To gain temporary powers. Which is, like... And you can... And then you can arrest people. And then continue to beat them up. In, like, a GTA-style, like, open city.

29:07 It's wild. I've never played it. I've seen video of it. What kind of powers did the drugs give you? Asking for a friend. I don't have the specifics in front of me. Probably, like, speed and power. Stuff like that. Yeah, that should make you stronger. You should have been able to hallucinate, though, and, like, see people as demons or something. That would have been cool. I will just say, though, that I think that alone is enough of a sell, actually. Like, just that it keeps the anti-drug messaging, but this time you can also take the drugs is, like, what a sell. There's the morality system. I'm sure it has one, to be honest. It's still Max Force, too, though. It's not, like, different people. So I guess he just changed his ways.

29:48 Yeah. Maybe he just, like, decided drugs are cool. Maybe he changed his ways. Yeah. Maybe he changed his ways. You know what? We're not going to change our ways. We're going to do... Wait. I've got two more things. I've got a thing, too. We're going to do two things. We're going to do Joe and Sean's things. One thing. All right. He's a badass cop, okay?

30:06 I'll give him that. But his walk, I'm not so certain about, like, how much that contributes to his... I mean, he's definitely comfortable and, like, he has some style to his walk, but it's more like a... It's like a dance mixed with a mall walk. Yeah. Did you guys notice this? I think that any time we play a game that has a somewhat, like, normal... Sorry. Like, we play a game that has sprites that have, like, somewhat normal proportions.

30:33 The walk is always messed up. Yeah. He's race walking, though. Yeah. That's exactly what it looks like. But it goes pretty well with... This is my second thing. And I kind of mentioned it earlier. I think some of the... Like, this is some top tier music. Good. I'm glad you're bringing up the music. This is driving, like, intense action music. That's all. The only thing is that the sound effects kind of, like, clash with the music. Yeah. That's why I don't shoot. Yeah. That's why you only arrest. Right. Yeah. My thing was just... I needed to talk about the... I think the one level we didn't really touch upon is the grow house, where...

31:12 There's... Each level is kind of drug-themed, or, I guess, drug-trade-adjacent-themed. And so one of them is called Sky High Nursery. And it's just where they grow and mass-produce marijuana. And you can even collect marijuana plants and turn them in as evidence.

31:34 But I just think it's really funny that, like, you walk into this place, and it's got, like, peace signs everywhere. And just the plant as an icon. And you've just got these, like, really militant hippies with machine guns. It's like, wow. Yeah. There's so much going on. I'm trying to characterize these hippies, too. Like, oh, we're gonna mess up these dirty hippies right now. Like, it's literally like they're just, like... They're just hippies with, like, yeah, like, peace symbols. And they're just... They're just... You think it's like, oh, they're just stoners. And then they come out, and they all got machine guns and everything. So good. And as a kid, you're like, oh, this must be what hippies are.

32:17 And now that we've covered Joe's important thoughts and Sean's most important thought, we can do the most important thing for the show, and that is the Essential Games List.

32:29 NARC caught me by surprise. I feel like by now it has this reputation, but it didn't... I didn't know about this game like that. I wasn't even sure, to Sean's point, like, was it gonna be taking the anti-drug thing seriously or not? Still don't know if it actually did that. Like, it kind of aged in a way where it's funny again.

32:49 But this is really just, like, a curiosity for those things. The actual gameplay, the weird controls of, you know, tap quickly to do this one thing and press to do this other thing really hurt the gameplay more than anything else about this game. And then I was comparing it to the run-and-gun games that we've had on the NES, but that's not... It's not that level. It is slower, and it's one of those to do a classic Joe line. It's one of those, you know, watch out for that bullet. Like, when you can see the bullets being shot, it's not high-flying. It's not action-packed.

33:30 Body parts are exploding, sure, and you're able to arrest people. But it's not nearly as exciting as we describe on this episode. And I think that's what NARC is ultimately missing. If this was a faster-paced, hotline Miami, to Sean's point earlier, style game where things were much more intense and situational and not just walk in a straight line, I feel like I might have enjoyed this game. But that would make this an entirely different game. You know, we could go into different ways to improve the pacing or the weapon variety

34:07 or, you know, even just, like, hit detection in one way or another. But I really think controls was the takeaway for me of just, like, well, they got it wrong from the start, and that only hurt everything else afterwards. So for that, it's a no for me. What about you, Sean? Yeah. The game itself is kind of hit and miss. I'm kind of hot and cold on it in terms of, like, the actual gameplay. Like I said, I think there's a lot of parts in it that just feel kind of awesome. But, like, yeah, you know, just sort of, like, ducking and jumping and shooting and blowing people up, like, that's pretty fun. The controls, once you get into any situation where it doesn't just, like, mow down the enemies, kind of get annoying.

34:51 So that, it's nothing special when it comes to just, like, the base gameplay. But what I really like about this game is just how, like, this is, I think, the first game that we've played that it's, like, the cultural, the cultural context has changed.

35:10 We've played a lot of games that haven't aged well in one way or another, and we have games that have aged well in one way or another. But I feel like this is the first one that just, like, it's almost, you can't even tell what it was trying to do or whether it was being sincere. It's weird that this is, like, a game that we're playing that's kind of comedy now.

35:31 Maybe it wasn't trying to be that. So I just really dig the vibes. Whatever they were going for, I don't really care, because now this is what this game is about to me. It's about being the worst cop imaginable in the worst city imaginable. And so I think I'm going to remember this game for a long time. But, yeah, not an essential game. Joe? Yeah, I'll say that when you start this game at the beginning and in the first few levels even, this game is great fun.

36:02 It really does. I think it's going to stick with me, too. It's just that edge that it has to it and, like, the kind of crazy action that you don't get in a lot of other games of this era makes it pretty fun. It is after a few levels, after playing for a little while, that I start to notice a lot of the problems that you guys mentioned in your votes. And they definitely weigh it down.

36:25 I think this game needed more to be considered essential. But I don't know if we still do this anymore. It's been a long time. But I'd give it a play it, for sure. But definitely not essential. Yeah, definitely play it. Get that sleaze in there. I was going to say, yeah, I think I'd say play it for nothing related to the gameplay.

36:43 You know? Play it to experience this wild ride and also to get a job at the DEA, if anybody's looking. Well, yeah. This is the starting point. It's the only thing you need on your resume. Yeah. If you can beat it, you have to have beaten it. Yes, of course. To work for the DEA. Think about how many other jobs require 10 years of experience before you can get a job. And this one just requires you to beat a 19-minute video game according to...

37:05 19 minutes. See, NES long play has it at 19 minutes and 8 seconds. I didn't beat it in 19 minutes and 8 seconds. But I do think that these long plays are always funny because, you know, say I'm just looking at the next random NES long play that pops up. Metal Gear. That one is an hour and 22 minutes. Now, obviously, that one's a lot longer, too. I didn't beat that in an hour and 22 minutes. I didn't beat that game at all.

37:28 But, you know, like, that still feels like, oh, there's a lot to this, right? That it took a perfect run of this game. It took them an hour and 22 minutes of NES time to do that. Here, 19 minutes of everything you need to see to see the entire game? That's a red flag. There's a red flag. But still awesome flag. It's an awesomely red flag.

38:14 Oh, and hey, we had a lot of laughs on this episode. But I do want to talk about something serious, and that's doing drugs. It's pretty fucking awesome. Oh. Oh, okay. I mean, whatever. It's my opinion. Don't do drugs. But, you know, teach their own.