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NES box art for Magic Johnson's Fast Break, the cover of NEStalgia episode 289

289 · Magic Johnson's Fast Break

▶ Game info
VerdictSkip it
GenreSports
ReleasedMarch 1990
SeasonSeason 6
PublisherTradewest
September 8, 2023 · 29 min · transcript available

Magic Johnson's Fast Break is fast-paced two-on-two action rather than the usual five-on-five contest. On screen you get a full-court, horizontally-scrolling gameplay. A referee monitors the action and calls the fouls if the gameplay gets too rough, and a crowd cheers you on.

SHOW NOTES

Magic Johnson

NES Longplay

Michael Jackson Pepsi Accident

Comic Code Authority

What's The New Mary Jane?

Our verdict: Skip it

Software Creations made this for Tradewest in 1990, a two-on-two basketball game with Magic Johnson's name on it. We burned a good chunk of the episode on tangents about who else gets called MJ, because the game gave us little else to talk about besides how basic it is and its very disquieting floating head. It feels older than what we've been playing.

What works

  • The rules. Fouling is fairly comprehensive and backcourt violations are aplenty. Not every basketball game we've played has been this close to the rules.
  • Four players. It supports the Four Score for true 2v2 at home. The options are one, two or four players, not three. We are three, so we were one short.

What doesn't

  • The floating head. One still image of Magic, cut off at the neck with a Hollywood smile, covers everything: slam dunk, violation, "try better next time." Double Dribble at least gave you a decent dunk cutscene. We decided he looks trapped in the cartridge, saying "somebody help me" through his teeth.
  • Tiny players, empty court. Everyone looks about five foot zero, as if the art was made for five on five and never redrawn. That is our guess.
  • Bare bones. A steal is a button press that puts the ball in your hands, with no animation. Shooting is one button, with no timing a release. Most shots are a straight line from hand to net.
  • Five skill levels. The computer hits more shots higher up, but going from one to five was not different enough to justify five.
  • Long quarters. Four three-minute quarters feel long once you've seen every mechanic in the first. The UI also has two fields for the shot clock, which we found unforgivable.

Worth knowing

  • Pepsi. The sponsorship sits at midcourt, obscene for the time. You never play as real teams, only Team A and Team B.
  • Salary. High scores are listed as salary. We took that to mean a career mode where you buy better players, but it is just a score set by the difficulty of the team you played.
  • Barely played. GameFAQs shows fewer than 100 people logging it. We joked you got it by mailing in 60 Pepsi caps.

The bottom line

Skip it. Nobody voted it onto the Essential Games List. Sean called it the most blatant cash grab in the sports games so far: no budget on mechanics, just the rights to a floating head. We agreed it feels phoned in, and today Magic would want his name off it.

Written from our conversation in this episode.

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