402 · Yo! Noid

• Introduction
• What it is: A 1990 Capcom‑published side‑scrolling platformer starring Domino’s mascot The Noid, adapted from the Japanese game Kamen no Ninja Hanamaru (by Now Production).
• Why it matters: A rare, well‑built advergame on NES—tight platforming, tough stage design, and a quirky end‑of‑level pizza contest system that plays like a card duel.
• The Noid — a (very) brief history
• Birth (1986): Created by ad agency Group 243 for Domino’s; The slogan: “Avoid the Noid.” The gremlin-in-a-red-bodysuit embodied everything that could ruin a 30-minute delivery. Wikipedia
• Peak late-’80s run: The character became a minor pop-culture star (planned CBS cartoon, constant TV spots, merch). Voice work credited to Pons Maar. Wikipedia
• Games & tie-ins (1989–1990): PC/Commodore game Avoid the Noid (1989), then NES platformer Yo! Noid (1990) from Capcom/Now Production
• 1989 hostage incident: A Georgia man named Kenneth Lamar Noid, suffering from mental illness, held two Domino’s employees hostage; he surrendered after several hours. The case is often (wrongly) cited as the reason Domino’s retired the mascot. Contemporary reporting confirms the incident; Domino’s later said it wasn’t the direct cause of retirement. Los Angeles Times+2The Washington Post+2
• Dormancy & brief revivals:
  • 2011: 25th birthday promo with Facebook game Noid’s Super Pizza Shootout. ir.dominos.com+1
  • 2016: Licensed Domino’s pinball machine featured the Noid. Wikipedia
  • 2021: Full comeback in ads tied to Nuro self-driving delivery tests; cross-promo with Crash Bandicoot: On the Run! iSpot.tv+1
• Fun facts & good radio tidbits
• Why he looks like… that: The red suit with rabbit-like ears and a big “N” reads well in claymation and on cheap ’80s TV sets; he’s literally the embodiment of delay and damage to your pizza. Wikipedia
• Nearly had a cartoon: CBS developed “The Noids” for Saturday morning (1988) but dropped it after pushback that it was ads-as-TV. Wikipedia
• Video-game double life:
  • Avoid the Noid (ShareData/BlueSky) is a timed delivery game where you dodge Noids across an office tower. Internet Archive
  • Yo! Noid is actually a reskinned Japanese platformer (Kamen no Ninja Hanamaru) with a quirky pizza-eating card duel for “bosses.” Wikipedia
• Headline writers feasted: After the 1989 incident, papers rolled out lines like “Couldn’t Avoid the Noid”—you can find original reports from the LA Times and Detroit Free Press archives. Los Angeles Times+1
• Merch & cameos: Limited shirts (2009), Facebook game (2011), Spooky Pinball machine (2016), and a 2021 Noid spot literally attacking a driverless robot. iSpot.tv+3Wikipedia+3ir.dominos.com+3
• Modern echoes: 2023 indie hit Pizza Tower includes a mischievous boss called The Noise, a knowing homage to the Noid’s chaos gremlin energy. Wikipedia
• Discuss now
• Can a licensed mascot platformer earn a seat next to Capcom’s original NES greats?
• Release, Credits, & Context
• Release: 1990 (NA/EU).
• Developer/Publisher: Now Production for Capcom (localization/art swap from Hanamaru to Domino’s Noid).
• Brand tie‑in: Timed to the peak of Domino’s “Avoid the Noid” ad campaign; manual/story pivots to the Noid stopping a chaos‑causing doppelgänger across New York.
• Discuss now
• Was there an appetite for the Noid as something bigger than a Dominos mascot?
• Core Controls & Feel (teach early)
• A = jump (precise, short hop to full arc). B = yo‑yo attack (quick, short range). Start pauses; Select cycles/uses special items (see Spells).
• Physics: Snappy acceleration and low air‑control; enemies and hazards often one‑hit you—Mario forgiveness doesn’t apply here.
• Readability: Tight hitboxes; many jumps demand edge‑pixel takeoffs.
• Discuss now
• Did the short‑range yo‑yo force you to play more patiently than you expected?
• Stage Structure & Variety
• Linear world map through NYC set pieces: streets, piers, rooftops, parks, subways, sewers, and late‑game industrial zones.
• Set‑piece levels:
  • Skateboard run—auto‑scroll with jump rhythm checks.
  • Ice platforms—reduced traction, tighter windows.
  • Wind/fan corridors—subtle push/pull that alters jump arcs.
  • Rope/chain climbs—vertical pacing, falling hazards.
  • Final gauntlets—enemy spam + tiny ledges where yo‑yo commitment matters.
• Discuss now
• Share the first level where you finally said, “Okay, I get the jump cadence now.”
• Collectibles, Points & Spells (the Noid’s toolkit)
• Pizza points: Dropped by foes/boxes; act as currency for spells used in boss contests and occasionally in‑stage.
• Spell scrolls/cards (examples; availability varies by stage):
  • x2 / x3: Multiplies your next pizza play in the contest.
  • Freeze/Skip: Stalls opponent or voids a round.
  • Pepper/Hot: Modifiers that shift topping values (contest math).
  • Restore: Heals contest damage or tops up slices.
• In‑stage power‑ups: Temporary invulnerability, time extensions, or yo‑yo damage boosts (brief windows).
• Discuss now
• Boss System — The Pizza Contest (card duel)
• How it works: Instead of fighting, end‑of‑level “bosses” are pizza‑eating contests. Each round, you and the rival play a numbered card (0–9) to determine how many slices you eat.
• Math & modifiers: Toppings/mod cards (yours or theirs) can add or subtract from values; some stages give forecast info on the opponent’s hand.
• Win condition: First to hit the target total (or to outpace when the deck runs out) wins the stage. Spells let you multiply or cancel plays.
• Strategy: Track which cards have been used; bait their high cards with a multiplier in hand; keep a 0 or 1 to block last‑round snipes.
• Discuss now
• Love the left‑turn into a mathy mini‑game, or would you rather a traditional boss fight?
• Difficulty & Mastery
• Learn the stride: Many jumps are built around a full‑stride takeoff—hesitation shortens the arc.
• Edge discipline: Step to the lip before pressing A; buffer the input as the foot hits the edge.
• Yo‑yo rules: Hit on the enemy’s hurt window; whiff recovery is short, so micro‑step between taps.
• Contest prep: Enter boss doors with 30–50 pizza points when possible; a dry spell leaves you at math’s mercy.
• Discuss now
• Hanamaru vs. Yo! Noid — What Changed
• Graphics/Theme: Ninjas and masks → pizza mascot & NYC gags; many enemy sprites re‑skinned.
• Mini‑games: Hanamaru’s quizzes/bonuses replaced with the pizza contest format and brand nods.
• Balance: Several enemy patterns and item placements adjusted; Western version leans a touch harder in some mid‑levels.
• Discuss now
• Does the advergame reskin cheapen it, or is this a smart localization that gave a solid platformer mainstream visibility?
• Yo! I’m Annoyed
• Now that the Pizza’s delivered. Slice it or skip it on the ESSENTIAL GAMES LIST.

Auto-generated transcript. Each paragraph starts with its timestamp. Speakers are not identified.

00:00 Yo-Noid, or How a Yo-Yo Saved New York.

00:20 And welcome to NEStalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. And I'm Sean. Yo, Mike. Yeah, yo, Sean. What's up? How you doing? You think that the Yo is mandatory as part of the Noid? I think with, like, you know, early 90s, Yo is mandatory. Maybe not so much in relation to Noid himself, but I think, like, I was expecting more titles like this. What do you know about the Noid? I didn't know a goddamn thing until this episode came on our radar. And so- Now I feel like it, this is some, like, Mandela effect thing. Yeah. No, I knew about the Noid because he's, like, an- He's an annoying, obnoxious character.

01:12 But here's my whole, here's my, like, get into it real early in the episode. So, like, McDonald's has the Hamburglar, right? And, like, he wants to steal- And Ronald McDonald and so many others. Yeah, yeah. So many other mascots. But I'm bringing up the Hamburglar specifically because he wants to, like, steal the Big Mac because it's delicious.

01:35 You know what I'm saying? So you mean, like- Yeah. You're talking about the built-in villains and antagonists of your marketing campaign. Right, right, right, right. But, like, even though the Hamburglar is, first off, like, a 10 out of 10 name, one of the best marketing gimmicks of all time, but, like, he still loves the McDonald's burger. He's not stealing the burgers because he secretly works for Burger King and hates McDonald's. The Noid hates Domino's. Like, it's really strange, right?

02:10 Yeah, I guess it's more so just an agent of chaos than it is anybody that has an opinion on the food from what I was able to gather. Yes, he's not- But then again, I didn't really do that much gathering. He's not a real entity. He's, like, what could go wrong to make your delivery not be delivered in time because Domino's was, like, 30 minutes or less, you know? And so it's like- So he's Michael Madsen.

02:39 Yes. And the Noid would make you annoyed, right? Like, it's insufferable. So I guess that's the Noid part of it is he's called that because- I thought it would be, like, the paranoia. I guess I don't really know. I think it's for annoyed, if you want me to be honest. I don't have, like, a citation for that. I think he stands for, in our society, certain patterns, you know? And NOI, like, sort of like a return on investment.

03:42 Got it. There's a CBS cartoon about the Noid. I don't think it ever saw the light of day. I couldn't find, like, a pilot for it or anything, but it was planned. And then there's actual, like, Domino's merchandise with the Noid. So- Do we know why he was a rabbit? Why he wears those ears? Oh, he just wears the ears. Do we know that if he pulled them off that he would have giant bunny ears? Or do we just assume- I guess I don't know. I thought maybe that was just his skin. And I think it's just, like, again, because he's supposed to just be irritating to look at.

04:15 Yeah. Now, in 1989, a Georgia man named Kenneth Lamar did hold two Domino's employees hostage. His name was Noid. Yeah. Sorry. I left out the- I was saving that for the punchline. But, like, his name was Kenneth Lamar Noid. And he held two Domino's employees hostage. He surrendered eventually. Nobody was hurt or anything. And there is a conspiracy that this is what got the Noid off the air. Well, I did also find this out. Which I, again, part of why I thought this was some kind of, like, Mandela effect situation. Because it's like, I would have- I feel like I would have known about this. But apparently I didn't.

05:02 And also, I think, like, they only retired the Noid, like, five years after this. So, it doesn't hold that much water. I think hopefully maybe in the 90s people were just like, this has been weird the whole time. And we've just kind of had enough of it. But one thing I want to push back on is you've- You've said that he surrendered. Whereas the story that I read goes that he was sort of outsmarted by his captors who made him pizza. And then he, like, put the gun down and they just ran away.

05:42 So, he surrendered to the pizza. Yes. He surrendered to his cravings for Domino's. Which, if you ask me, sounds like some pretty awesome marketing for your pizza. If, like, even would-be hostage takers can't really- Can't say no to the taste. But I just missed opportunities. Where they were getting briefed on it, you know, like, up at Domino's HQ. And they were like, you know, please don't die. Please don't die. And then they heard that the pizza was so good that he surrendered. And they were like, we got to do something about this.

06:21 The Noid did come back, though, a few times. 2011 for the 25th birthday. He got, like, a Facebook video game, web game, called Noid's Super Pizza Shootout. Whoa. Yeah. That's a little strange considering. Close to the hostage incident. And then in 2016, Domino's got a pinball machine. And the Noid's in it. Like, it's not, like, all about him, but he's in it. And so, like, another reference to him. But for the most part, like, I don't know.

06:53 Domino's has had long enough time away from him that I don't think anyone other than the people who grew up with the Noid associate the two together. I sure as hell didn't. Right. But I guess just a question a little further outside the scope of the video game in front of us. Do you like Domino's pizza?

07:13 Okay. So this is a great question. And it is one I planned to answer. So I have a good response here. And for the longest time, especially growing up on Long Island and going into the city, like, that's where the best pizza in the world is. And I never saw a need to have the Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Little Cece's, whatever. Whatever there is out there. I didn't feel the need to ever. Little Caesars. Little Caesars and Cece's pizza, right? Yeah. I combined them.

07:45 There was never a need for that in my life. But my wife does, I would say, love Domino's. So I had to, like, have it, obviously. Like, it's in my life now. There's actually, like, a yearly tradition around Christmas time where I give her, like, a Domino's gift card and we have it.

08:03 And the first time I had it, I have to say I was surprised that it's not really pizza. It's Domino's. It's not the same kind. It doesn't satisfy the same way a thin New York slice does. This is, they've kind of, like, carved out their own area of the pizza market where it's like, I get it. If you're going to Domino's, you don't want that, like, thin crust slice. Yeah, you want Domino's. And so I am not a Domino's hater any longer. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I also think that Domino's has its place alongside, you know, I think pizza has its own thing, too. And they all have a purpose.

08:43 Now, I do want to bring up another thing about Domino's. And maybe you can help me with this or maybe you'll just come to the same conclusion I did. But since I've been eating Domino's, which is probably right around 2014, there has been a deal on the website where for $20 you get two medium pies, like the garlic knots or whatever they call them. It's because they're not knots. Cheesy bread. No, no, no. It's like, it's definitely garlic something. It's like garlic twists. There's garlic Parmesan twists. Okay. And then you get cinnamon twists, too, with like a cheesecake dipping sauce or whatever, and a two-liter bottle of Coke. And now that's all for $20. Okay. They eventually get rid of the two-liter bottle of Coke, and it's still the $20.

09:31 There's no other promo on that site that even comes close. Like, you might not even be hungry for the whole thing, but for the price difference, I've tried every other combo you can think of. I've tried their other coupons. There's no reason not to just get two medium pizzas, the garlic thing and the cinnamon thing, and just call it a night. Yeah, that's probably something like 4,000, 5,000 calories right there. Yeah, but again, if you're having it at 2 a.m., it don't count.

09:57 You have said this. Offline, I've said this, yeah. I'm just thinking about, like, the price per calorie or calories per dollar, you know? So that is the deal. That is a deal right there. You asked why he looks like that. I do want to know that. I'm going to put that in your words.

10:19 Apparently, the red suit with the rabbit-like ears and the big N just read well in claymation. So they gave him the ears because it made him pop more on older TV sets. That's the alleged citation that I have here. I'm not going to investigate the source. But I guess that makes sense, right? Like, if he just had, like, a red cap, it wouldn't stand out that much. Like, he needed a little something extra to mascot him. Now, you know, one thing that doesn't particularly read well, and I'm going to loop this into the game itself here, too, is the association with Domino's Pizza.

11:01 Because, I mean, again, I guess it's part of his whole, like, antagonistic streak that, you know, he does, he's not, he's not the, he isn't representing Domino's. He's representing what could go wrong in a Domino's delivery.

11:15 But even, like, in this game, like, the pizza is, the pizza place that you go to over and over, it doesn't happen to be Domino's. It's just a pizza place. Like, it's just, this is a Noid game, and the whole association with Domino's is very much incidental, it seems. And yet it is kind of funny that every level ends with him being forced to have a pizza-eating competition, something he hates. He hates pizza, and he and the other Noids that live in this Noid land have to eat pizza, and whoever eats the most moves on to the next round.

11:53 There is something poetic about that. Very. I'm not sure what kind of poetry it is. It's, like, more, maybe it's more, like, slam poetry without rhyming. But, you know, it's poetry. Sean, can a licensed mascot platformer ever earn a seat next to Capcom's original NES greats, like Mega Man? Like, is there ever a chance?

12:21 Like, the quality of this video game? Not the quality of this video game specifically, but I guess, like, does, so they're creating, like, their own mascots, Capcom, right? Like, they are making games with great, memorable IPs that are still being made today. And then, like, they're also making licensed games at the same time. And it's, like, do you have a certain judgment about the quality of these just knowing that it's a Domino's tie-in because of the other?

12:47 Like, we are basically, at this point in the show right now in the 1990s, we have become, like, a pop culture podcast because everything is a licensed, like, movie or toy or franchise of some sort. And, you know, I guess, like, I'm not saying I had a bias going into it, but I certainly didn't expect this to be on the level of Capcom games because of the forced tie-in. Yeah, I think that the only reason that the last episode that I can think of that even comes close to this would be the spot game.

13:26 And I'm pretty sure we also had, like, a McDonald's one, but that... We did. We did. Okay. Um, but I had... I had... Myself had nostalgia for a spot video game, so I think that kind of disqualifies me from having an actual opinion on the game itself. But, like, on the quality of any other spot video game. But, like, this one... Having not known what Noid was and then learning that it's Domino's Pizza, I think I did have some prejudice against it as, like, Oh, this is gonna be a good game. Obviously, it has to. It's Domino's Pizza, right? No one's gonna think that. And Capcom basically took a game that they had already made.

14:10 I don't know how to say it in Japanese, so it just translates to Masked Ninja Hanamoru. And that game just... It's basically the same game, but it got a complete visual overhaul to fit the Noid and the pizza and all that into it. But it wasn't like they started from scratch, like, coming up with a Yo-Noid video game. They basically looked at what they had and then said, like... I guess, like, they probably went to Domino's or somebody and was like, Who wants to make a game with us? And who wants to pay us money? And Domino's was like, us! And then they were like, but did you remember to include our logo anywhere?

14:47 Wow, you actually just kind of creeped me out. Because I was wondering why you kept using Capcom as an example of just like, Oh, you mean like, maybe this is a little Mega Man-y, so this is why Mike is bringing it up as a comparison. Like, no, Capcom made this game.

15:05 That's actually... And I remember now seeing this on the intro screen and it just completely washing over me. It's actually crazy that they made this game. Yeah, now what I understand is that they played a role in the making of this game and were definitely the publisher of the game. Seems like now Productions might have made the, like, original Japanese game, the Mass Ninja one. And then Capcom just, like, re-skinned it here. So it's not a true...

15:37 I mean, it is technically a true Capcom game because it's under their, like, wing. Yeah, they're umbrella, yeah. In these times, it probably means more to be the publisher than the developer of these games, right? Because you're, like, you're riding your new face on all this, right? It's your reputation at stake. Yeah. So all that in mind, the game aspect of it all, right? It's a Capcom-published, side-scrolling platformer starring the Domino's mascot. But, like, what are we in for here, Sean? Is this actually anything more than a shameless advertisement game?

16:19 It definitely is not because there's so little advertising. I think there are really... The assumption here was that Noid is such a cultural phenomena in itself that it's a... Like, that it sort of stands on its own. Because, again, like we were mentioning, I don't remember seeing any Domino's branding aside from on the... Like, on one of the, like, credit screens.

16:49 Because other than, like, each level ending in that pizza contest, there really isn't much going on here. He's more... I would have thought, without any other context, that he was the mascot of a yo-yo company. Because I don't know where the yo-yo came from. Did he have a yo-yo in the commercials? I don't know. Isn't it the yo-yo because it's yo-noid? Yo-noid? But, like, that's just, like... That's not from anything. That's just... What if you gave the Hamburglar a cello? Like, and then he... That's just what he... That was just what he played in, like, a music rhythm game. Like, is that... Does that make Hamburglar and... And, uh... I don't know what I'm saying. It's just completely nonsensical.

17:37 Yeah, and, like, was there really an appetite for... An appetite, get it? Uh, for yo-noid, like, outside of those commercials? Like, are kids gonna go buy this game? Like, do they love the noid in that regard? I don't know.

17:52 These are questions for a different generation. And I guess I'm just very quickly looking at the... Um... The Japanese game that it's based on. And it seems like that ninja has, like, a pet falcon or some kind of bird that he uses as his, like, boomerang style. Like, you know... Oh, okay. Yeah, throw it and then it attacks the enemy and comes back to you. Yeah, he was... Yeah, essentially. So it's on his... It reads more like a parrot because it doesn't look like it's on his arm. It looks like it's on his shoulder. Got it. Falcons go on the arm. Parrots go on the shoulder.

18:28 Agreed. Uh, as it should. Now, did... Was there a pizza eating contest at the end of each level in that game? Right. Now, that's... That's the million dollar question. Uh, and I'm skimming along. Try to find out if that was added because it's actually funny. If you have two long plays of the game side by side, other than, like, the visualness of it all, um... It is literally the same game. And, uh, so what they did essentially, they... The pizza eating part, and we could explain this probably a little better here, but... Essentially, you have cards that you have, uh, a certain numbers on each of these of how many pizzas you're gonna eat or whatever.

19:08 And then the opponent has cards of how many pizzas he's gonna eat. The opponent's cards are selected at random. It's kind of like a spinning thing and lands on one of them. And so if that number is three, you have... It's a math game. You have to, like, try to eat five. So this way, uh, you're leading by two. So you get two points. If you do three, nobody gets any points, and you both deal another set of cards. If you deal less, if you... If you got a three and you lay down one of your, uh, single cards, then he gains two points. You get the idea.

19:39 It seems like while they weren't eating any pizzas, the game in the Japanese one is the same exact, uh, game of, like, uh, change it. You know, like, whoever has the higher card. Yeah, it's just a simple, it's just a simple card game that doesn't have a pizza component to it. Pizza component. It looks more like they tried to turn it into some kind of, like, fighting game component where whoever had the stronger thing did an attack on the other one. Got it. That makes more sense. Yeah. Yes. Now, there are ways to change your pizza score, and, uh, there are, like, modifier cards that you can collect within the level. Uh, they're not automatically just there for you at the end of the level. You do have to have them in your inventory.

20:17 But that's, like, a way to score really high. Like, you can triple your score or double your score or, uh, manipulate, manipulate your score in other ways. But, like, is that, is that really, like, is that, is that enough there? Like, before we get into the platforming part, which is the larger part of the game. Yeah, the actual gameplay. Yeah, this, like, pizza eating thing at the end feels almost like it's a little, it's a, it's part tedious because if you have the right cards, you're just kind of waiting to outmath the opponent. Like, there's no actual gameplay happening. But then if you, like, get unlucky and they select, like, large amounts at first, then you're going to, like, you're going to have a tough time catching up.

21:03 Now, that never happened to me. And the fact that it always felt so simple that no one could possibly, like, lose at this made me wonder, like, is this just bonus? Like, do you need to beat the pizza eating contest? You do. Do you know what happens if you don't win the pizza contest? What happens? You have to do the level again. Oh, my God. It's, like, basically treated, it's not even, it's, I think it's worse, right? It's, like, you should have to go restart the pizza eating contest. But instead you have to go back and do the whole level. Wow, I thought it was just bonus points. But I guess, I guess I was wrong. It's pretty strange it being so divorced from what we'll get into, you know, moving forward, which is the actual gameplay.

22:12 Yes. So, moving on to the platforming of it all. First, there is a nice, like, world map. It seems like it's set in New York City. Because I think he says something at the beginning of the game about New York City. But, you know, you're on the streets. You got the peers. You said the back of the box. Oh, yeah. No, he's in New York City. Yeah. Like, I guess you would yoink a yo-yo. I actually think they didn't put an N on there. It's just New York.

22:40 New York. Oh, okay. So, they're doing a stereotypical accent. Okay. Right, right. Yeah. That's offensive to my culture. Very much. But then they later spell New York correctly. So, I guess they're saying definitively that this is New York. But some of these locations, it's like, come on. Like, on the back of the box, they're saying that one of those levels was Central Park. It's like, I don't remember any of that shit in Central Park. Well, a lot of this looks a little post-apocalyptic, too. Right. Well, that's how it happens when people don't deliver your pizzas in 30 minutes.

23:13 But there are, like, so, in the actual platforming levels themselves, there are, in each of the levels, some nice, like, set-piece things. So, it's not just the Noid going across a level, attacking enemies with a yo-yo, and just trying to make it to the end. Even that very first level at the pier, the water kind of, like, rises like a tide, you know, up and down. And if you're caught in it while it's high tide, you're going to be washed away, and that's, like, an automatic death. And then there's, like, another level with the skateboard. And then there's another, like, ice level.

23:50 And, you know, like, all these things change up the gameplay ever so slightly. But you've got to give them credit for not just, even though it was a reskin of a game, for this particular thing not just having it be, like, yeah, he's the Noid, and he has a yo-yo, and you just hit enemies, and you scroll right. Like, it's not that simple. But it's also not much more than that. Yeah, no, each of them has, like, a shtick, but there's, it's not that, they're not that, like, game-changing. Like, yes, the screen moves up and down in the water one, and the first time you die that way can be very confusing, actually.

24:29 And then you have the ice one where there's actual slippage, and that's, we've seen that done many times before. But, yeah, you're right. At least it's not just move with the exact same mechanics every time. That's true. But I think, like, and not that this is something to praise the game over, but the joy of playing through Yo-Noid is the design of it all. Like, the levels themselves, the enemies you run into, the way that the stages are designed, like, that's the interesting part. It's not just, like, really dull and static images of the same shit over and over and over again. You do feel, as you're moving around this world map, that you are on some kind of, like, adventure with the Noid

25:22 to do whatever. You get different tile sets, so it's not, like, a lot of these games which just look like, they're just different rearrangements of the same, like, area. Like, each level does feel different, and you are fighting different enemies, and it's very colorful. So, yeah, I get what you mean there. But, like, what's his big goal here? Like, I'm happy to join him for the ride, but, like, he's just taking down the other Noids? Noids? I, maybe?

25:54 Like, I don't, I just, I never really knew. Um, I, it was more so just, I know he's got a yo-yo, I know he hates pizza. Did we know canonically that there were other Noids before this? Like, now all of a sudden? I don't, you're asking the wrong guy, but I would say that the fact that you play against another Noid in the pizza eating contest, like, there's, like, a blue Noid. Um, I have to imagine that that's the implication. Yeah, it's like, there's a, apparently,

26:27 it's like Oompa Loompas, you know? They come from, like, a whole, there's, like, Noid land, and that's where they were, and now they got to New York City. There's not just a blue Noid, too. There's, there's a gray Noid. I think there's one for every color, but the gray one, particularly devoid of color. Every color? Yeah. Right? Isn't there, like, a yellow Noid and a,

26:46 I didn't mean that it was, like, a rainbow Noid. Like, I meant, like, there's a, they rotate through the colors as you eat the, as you go to the various pizza competitions. You know what, you're right. I just sort of remembered a blue Noid, but, yeah, you are playing against different colored Noids. Yeah. Again. So that's what I'm saying. It's like, there's a little Noid community here, or maybe, like, one Noid got Noided. It's a Noid community. Yeah, did they get Noided?

27:07 Noided? Yeah, well, yeah, you get Xehanorted in Kingdom Hearts, but maybe you get Noided in the Domino's universe. Whoa. Do you think it's possible that these people are just, like, bad, like, people who didn't deliver in time, they go to, like, the Domino's factory, and they get, like, transformed into the Noids? Yeah. Isn't that kind of how Oompa Loompa, like, are all Oompa Loompas just, like, like, they were, they were taken? Yeah, they were just trying to steal the formula, the secret formula for the everlasting Gobstopper. It's a dark reading of the Noid. There is one thing, though, about the platforming.

27:47 There's one thing about the platforming in particular that bothers me, and that is that, like, some of the jumps require you to, like, be at the edge of the platform, and we've seen this in Konami games, we've seen this in Capcom games, but this is, like, this kind of game is just aimed at, like, when I see a mascot game, I'm expected to be a little more, like,

28:11 friendly, kiddish, yeah, yeah, like, not too challenging or whatever, and yet here we are with, like, you have to, like, be at the edge of the lip on some of these platforms just to get over the edge, and I just feel like, especially with the rabbit thing, like, he should have just had, like, a great jump. Yeah, and not only that, not even just in the platforming, but in the combat as well, like, and the enemies that you come across, like, are actual obstacles, like, you need, you usually need to take them out in order to not take damage moving forward, and these are some sponges, like, you've got to hit them, like, three, four, five times, and it kind of slows the pace down a bit,

28:53 so it is kind of coming at you in this game. There are power-ups you can collect in the levels, too, but it's just, like, invincibility and a time extension. It's, like, again, with the time stuff, I guess, like, there's just no avoiding that in these games. Ice storm that just clears the screen, like, lots of things. I think there's two separate power-ups that just clear the screen with different effects. There's a bomb one, I think, and then there's, like, a storm one. It's very strange. Yeah, and then here, so here's, like, I guess my biggest gripe about the yo-yo weapon. I think it's actually a great weapon. A weapon that comes back to you is always cool. Boomerang, yo-yo, sure.

29:39 It doesn't read yo-yo. It reads magic baseball because there's no string. We can't see the string. Like, we see the string when he's, like, playing with it when he's not using it. Do you ever notice that? Like, sometimes if you're walking, he'll, like, throw it up and down, like, ever so slightly. Yeah, yeah, like, kind of, I guess with the jumps, too, it kind of bobs. Yeah, but then, like, when he throws it, there's no string. So if you have the string animation, I'm seeing it in the idling, right? Like, if you have the string animation, why wouldn't you add it for the game, too? Like, was it too powerful? Too much to render? Like, come on, guys. Like, I think it's, like, it's already a question of why it's the yo-yo,

30:26 other than for the sake of him being called yo-noid. But, like, it's not, it doesn't break any kind of gameplay thing, but it does kind of, like, it impacts my feeling about the game that they couldn't even just, like, convince me it was a yo-yo. Like, there wasn't enough put in here. I, too, agree that they should have

30:48 painstakingly added the string during attack animations. But what they do have, it still has, like, it still feels like a yo-yo to me. I didn't read it as Magic Baseball.

31:00 I think that, you know, I'm not going to defend this all that wholeheartedly because I think I don't really care enough to argue with you about it. But I think they did a fine job with the yo-yo. And I actually think, if you can just get over maybe how simple it is compared to some of the other platformers we played this year, I think they made, or they re-skinned, a perfectly fine game. Yeah. You know, like, no, but I don't think, like, I don't think it ever gets

31:33 the platforming part. The math pizza thing, like, whatever. But, like, the actual platforming levels, they're never boring, right? They're never just, like, tedious things that you have to do to get to the end of the stage or whatever. Like, they change it up enough. But it's also, like, never,

31:48 the enemies are never like, oh, that was a cheap spawn, or, like, you know, oh, this guy takes a thousand hits with the yo-yo, like, what's the point? It moves at great pace. Well, I specifically did think that, but... Oh, for that one enemy, right?

32:04 There's a couple that take some hits, right? Okay. No, there are definitely enemies that take multiple hits. Not everything is a one-hit KO, but I meant, like, I don't think there are, like, sponges in this game other than, like, there was that one enemy in the piers that I'm thinking of that, like, you had to hit, like, 20 times. You also have some, like, mustachioed gentlemen that are kind of annoying, but I...

32:25 Yeah, I did think that a lot of it was fine, but I think this is... This might be getting into some, like, essential game stuff, you know? Yeah, yeah, sure. I hear you. I guess I just... I don't want to... Because I'm complaining so much about the character, I didn't want to make it seem like the platforming here, like, control-wise, pacing-wise,

32:45 content-wise, right? Just even from, like, the amount of stages, like, there's a good amount of stages here. It doesn't, like... It doesn't, like, take you to the pier and then you do, like, five levels of water back to back to back to... Yeah, agree. And then get out of there. Right. All right, Sean, now that the pizza's delivered, slice it or skip it on the Essential Games list.

33:12 Yo! I'm annoyed by this game. I needed to qualify that it was... It was a good platformer, all things considered. I probably would like the Ninja game more than this. I guess what really annoys me about this game is just from a branding perspective. Like, there's... They're not eating a Domino's pizza. The Noid doesn't like pizza. On the very box, he has a pizza crusher that he's using as his, like, pogo stick. This is all just, like, a identity crisis for, like, who wants this? Because the consumer probably doesn't want to play as the Noid. That's not, like, one of my dream characters.

33:54 You know, like, get the Noid in Smash? Like, no. But then, like, at the same time, it's not, like, an offensively bad game otherwise. So, I really just think that, like, it's just a really crazy decision by Capcom and Domino's to have these worlds meet. But I guess anything was possible in terms of crossovers in the 90s. So, it happened, but I don't think it should have happened. Sean? Yeah, we are all Kenneth Noid today. I don't think that this is a particularly good game. I don't even really have the same kind of

34:34 good qualities that you're giving to the platforming parts. I think it's fine. But I think, like, this game had more value to me as that cultural object that we spent so much time talking about. I didn't even know what Noid was. I didn't know that crazy story about the stick-up. It's pretty crazy. I'll remember that. That's some fun fact stuff. But the game itself is almost wholly unremarkable. So, not essential.

35:08 And Sean, just real fast before we end the episode, your go-to topping on a pizza? I'm a pretty standard pepperoni boy. I was pepperoni for so long and now I think I'm buffalo chicken. I think I want a little... Well, sure. If you're going for a specialty slice... Right, right. But I'm saying that's exclusively what I'm doing these days. I'm not ordering pies. Wow. All right. I'm going specialty slice, probably two, but two specialty slices, which is now a crazy price. It used to be $4 for a specialty slice and I feel like it's $8 now. Wow. But that's a good dinner. I don't want to order a pie and get eight slices when... I'm not in that sweet spot yet where I'm like a family of four. That's like the sweet spot for a pie. You definitely

35:59 need company over to order a pie. But I do also do the specialty slice thing, but I do one specialty slice and one pepperoni slice. All right. So if we're going like normal slices because buffalo chicken is a little out there, I would say I agree with you with the pepperoni, but people are sleeping on meatball. I like meatball. Yeah, that's fun. I think people are sleeping on it, you know? And especially if the meatball is actually baked on there at the same time, like it's made as a slice, not like, oh, we made a cheese pizza and then we added some meatballs that we cooked. Yeah. No, it's all got to be in harmony. Which in the same vein, if you're going to go for a specialty slice and you're really trying to carbo-load,

36:42 put some panne on there. There's nothing better in some instances than just some pasta in a pie. And should anybody want to know, my favorite New York slice is Sal and Carmine's Pizza on 104th Street and Broadway. I think that you get a cheese slice from there, it basically tastes like how you imagine pizza tasted when you were like six or seven and just went nuts for it. That's what it's like for me. Sean, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but do you have a go-to? I prefer Buffalo-style pizza. Woof. Woof.!!!!!!!!!!! Bye.