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NES box art for Pipe Dream, the cover of NEStalgia episode 370

370 · Pipe Dream

▶ Game info
March 28, 2025 · 36 min · transcript available

Each level of this abstract puzzler challenges the player to set up a network of pipes to allow an unspecified substance known as 'flooz' to flow through as many of those as possible.

Our verdict: Skip it

Pipe Dream takes about five seconds to understand, and the box says it takes a lifetime to get good at. Mike, Sean and Joe were on this one, and we came to it from different places: Sean from childhood Windows computers (where it was Pipe Mania), the rest of us through Bioshock's hacking minigame.

What works

  • Instantly readable. Slime starts flowing from an entry valve, and you lay pipe ahead of it from a queue of five pieces, with the next one dropping in at the bottom. Joe got the idea in about five seconds.
  • No rotating. Unlike Tetris, a pipe goes in the way it comes. If a piece is useless, you park it somewhere harmless.
  • Mistakes are fixable, at a price. You can place a new pipe over an old one, but replaced and unused pieces cost points. When the slime is nearly at the end of your line, mashing pieces down to cycle to the one you need burns a lot of score. We liked that the punishment is there.
  • Crossovers. The piece that lets slime pass through a tile twice was the favorite. Pulling off a loop over already-filled tiles is oddly satisfying, though we managed it only once.
  • A toolbox, not a puzzle. Reservoirs slow the slime, pumps speed it up, and the screen edges sometimes open so a pipe can wrap around. There is no single solution. We called it an open-world puzzle game about laying pipe, and a freer one than the reset-button puzzlers we've been through.
  • Late difficulty is fixed pipes. Permanent pieces eat your free space, and one-way arrows force your direction.

What doesn't

  • Little explanation. Joe had to look up that the goal is a minimum pipe length, and the game never says it is worth going past it for bonus points.
  • The bonus stage. It removes the grid and drops pipe with gravity, and you can't overwrite anything. We didn't enjoy it, and mostly dropped straight pieces.
  • It's a mini-game. It also shows up as a hacking minigame in Bioshock, Saints Row 4, Warframe and Alien Swarm. The idea does not feel big enough for a whole cartridge.

Beyond the game

The November 1990 Nintendo Power let readers cut out pipe pieces and enter a pipe puzzle contest, with a four-day trip to Seattle as the grand prize, including a tour of Nintendo and lunch at Cafe Mario. It shows how little this game needs the NES. Developer Bulletproof Software is also behind Hatris, which has you stacking hats on heads. A complete-in-box copy was around $22 when we checked, the cheapest we've seen.

The bottom line

Skip it. All three of us voted it off the Essential Games List. It's harmless and satisfying to watch, and we weren't sure anybody wants to spend a lifetime mastering it. Sean liked it as software you'd find on a computer but wasn't sure it was a fully fledged video game, and Joe said it would blend into the background of the NES library. Joe called it take it or leave it.

Written from our conversation in this episode.

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