131 · Seicross
Two different tribes existed on planet Colura, the Petras and the Basrah. The Basrah were aggressors and eventually drove the Petra underground. However many Petra survivors were trapped on the surface of the planet. To that end, a rescue bike named the Gilgitt Petras was created. It must venture up to the surface and save as many Petras as possible.
SHOW NOTES
Seicross Longplay
Seicross Manual
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
TRON LIGHT CYCLE
- Danger zones, suicide bikers, explosions, and booby traps-all stand in your way as you race your super space bike into the enemy city to rescue the captured people of Petras.
- Introductions
- Nihon Bussan, the team the brought us Mag Max is bringing us
- Overview
- Horizontal Auto Scroller where you ride a gliding motorcycle-like vehicle, bumping other riders, and collect various items
- Gameplay
- Zone 1
- Zone 2
- Zone 3
- This and MagMax are True Stories
- Sequels and Spinoffs
- EGL
- Next week - Seicross. Arcade Motorbike game
Auto-generated transcript. Each paragraph starts with its timestamp. Speakers are not identified.
Scycross, Danger Zones, Suicide Bikers, Explosions, and Booby Traps all stand in your way as you race your super space bike into the enemy city to rescue the captured people of Petrus.
Nostalgia And welcome to NEStalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. I'm Sean. And I'm Joe. And, you know, I was flipping with you guys beforehand, Cycross, Seacross. I think we landed that Seacross would be like a submarine style game, but I hold no responsibility if I butchered this altogether.
I would have to say that, you know, grammatically and spelling wise, if you're going to have an S-E-I, you are signaling to me that you want me to say Cycross. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, but that seems to be the rules of English. Joe, anything else? I just think Cycross sounds, I mean, that's where I naturally go. I think Cycross sounds way cooler than C-Cross. So maybe it should be C-Cross. Never mind. Cycross sounds way cooler.
There's gotta be like a missed opportunity here though, right? For like, Cycross to be like C-Y, like cycle, you know? Because this is bikes and cycles. I was thinking more like Cy, like the Korean pop star, like P-S-Y-Cross. Oh, that would be pretty cool too, but that would imply that it was a psychic type Pokemon. I was thinking more like S-I-G-H, because it's kind of like, it's kind of like what you do when it's like, all right, next week is Cycross.
Cy, yes. Okay, I understand. All right, there's a lot of things going on here. Uh, this game, Cycross, for those of you that don't know, is a arcade game that gets ported over to the NES. Uh, Nihon Buzan was the team that brought us, uh, MagMax. Remember MagMax? I remember MagMax. Cool, so they are also bringing us Cycross here.
And, to be honest, I think MagMax had like, had a lot going for it that just didn't quite deliver on, but Cycross... Yeah, it had legs. Yes, it had legs. Legs for days. Cycross doesn't quite have, uh, all that going for it. Uh, Sean or Joe, would you guys mind giving me like an overview on Cycross for the, the uninformed? I can give you like a, like a brief idea of it. That's all I want, brief. Uh, story aside, you, you're, you're riding on a tiny little, uh, Tron-style, bike is how I imagine it. Going across what looks like a, the neck of a guitar or something.
Uh, and you're, you're just flying around shooting at things. Kind of like a, a shmup. Uh, and it, and also feels a little like you're racing these people, but really you're just trying to get to the end without... And in, I'm sorry, you're trying to get to the end and, uh, pick up as many hostages as you can without dying. I can add on to that. Please do, because I, I did a terrible job. Um, I, I'm actually gonna get a little bit more personal in this. Uh, so, in the, like the first level, it's, it's sort of like you're, yeah, you're racing these guys. I wouldn't say that they're on Tron-like motorcycles. It's a, more like a, a more emasculated Tron-like Vespa.
Um, and you are going across, like, the neck of a guitar, sort of. Uh, and it, and it sort of does feel like a race. You can, uh, you, you can hit people into the walls. You can hit them into other things, into other obstacles. And then when the second level happens, you realize that you've been fooled and you are, once again, playing a shmup. Yeah, that was weird, right? I, the, the first level is a totally different, well, it's not totally different. It's the same thing just with other racers, quote unquote. But then the second level, it just takes that away.
Um, and I, I don't want anyone to get confused when we say race. You usually think fast paced, heart, heart racing, uh, excitement. Uh, none of that's really here. There's just other people. Yeah, well, this is an auto-scroller, so you actually can't really do much in terms of racing. Yeah. But I guess if you say vroom, like, loud enough to yourself, you might think that you're racing. You know, you could say, I am speed and kachow a lot.
I am speed. Yes. Uh, I think one thing that both of you missed, uh, that's an important part of the game is that, you, you know, the thing that's mostly going to kill you here, besides the obstacles throughout the course, is your own energy. You have a very limited fuel supply. This thing can maybe drive, uh, you know, a mile before it just explodes from lack of energy. So you need to constantly pick up energy tanks as well. And, uh, these are like, they're like discs.
Uh, I, I don't even know how else to describe them, but they're just like these floating discs that are just seem to be placed randomly. They might have some method to them, but there's more than enough of them. You just have to kind of make sure that you're always collecting them. Um, I think of it like if anybody's ever played F zero, uh, you have to like ride in certain zones to pick up an energy boost and stuff like that. So it's not as frequent as a full zone of an energy boost, but there are like these, there's, there's plenty of energy pockets to pick up as you go along.
Yeah. It's just like in, in, in, in many other of the shmup games that we played that have that sort of, um, uh, decay to your energy happening. And yeah, it's just any, any other pickup. It's just, it's just a little piece of energy on the ground. Usually I don't personally care for that, uh, that gameplay element. Um, unless it's like the whole game is built around that, that time limit aspect.
Um, and I, and I don't love it here either, but I think that it didn't bother me too much just because those power-ups that give you energy are so frequent that I almost was, was almost never worried about dying from running out of power-ups or whatever energy or whatever it's called. Yeah. It's kind of like a stimulant as you're playing to just constantly make sure you're also like, not just dodging things, but collecting things as well. Right? Right. Yeah. That's a good way of putting it.
Yeah. It's sort of, uh, it'll put you on lines through the level that you may not have otherwise wanted to go through. Like if you are maybe running out and, uh, you can be in a position where you are running out. They're not, they are, they are frequently come across, but they're not that frequently come across.
And if you really do need that, then you will have to put yourself maybe in harm's way just to make sure you don't blow up in 20 seconds. Yeah. Actually, you know, now that you guys put it that way, I think that, that this, uh, element actually benefits this game quite a bit because otherwise without that, without that need, that need to pick up those things, I guess you'd still be picking up hostages, but otherwise you would just be finding the easiest, you know, the path of least resistance. It at least realizes that there is more of like, there's more motivation to picking these things up than just higher score.
Yeah. And you know, I wouldn't be surprised now to, if, if we were to find out that the developers maybe were play testing this and thinking like, wow, there's just not enough to do.
And then they were like, we need to add more stuff in here that like for you to collect. So it feels more like you're engaging with the game. Well, I think that if they would have planned out maybe where these things were and, and you know, I'm not saying that they're randomly generated. I just, the feeling is, is that they're relatively easy to get. The manual kind of says like, if you try to pick up every energy pack, you might go too far and encounter too many obstacles.
I didn't really notice that when I was playing. I actually thought it was fairly easy to get these things. So if there was only like, if there was some kind of consequence for collecting these things, I think that would actually bring it a step up. But since they're just kind of, you know, littered like one at a time on the screen, there there's never really an urgency to, to collect any of these things. Just make sure you have them. If you're like, you know, approaching halfway or something like that.
Yeah. There's a, there's a balance issue here and it does sort of feel like we're, we're focusing very strongly onto one small aspect of this game, but I think it does tie into the game experience as a whole. And that is, you're supposed to be balancing going for the, the energy packs and also going for the prisoners, the little blue people. And they usually show up at the same time. Like, I mean, they're all scattered about, but they're usually placed far enough away from each other that like, you can't get all of both. You're going to, you can't be in two places at one time. You're going to have to pick between the two.
And I think that there's a little too much of all of them for them to be very meaningful decisions. But I think that's what they were trying to do. And at the end of the day, it really just comes down to the fact that the, the hostages
aren't story related. I mean, the game doesn't have a story. It's an arcade game. So they really are just points. It has a story, Mike. I know. But that's a bigger part that we're going to have to get to later in the show. The, the gameplay wise, the hostages are like, take them or leave them. First off, they don't feel like hostages. They just feel like, you know, what are they doing on the, on the racing track? Like get off the track, you know, if there's these other enemies and you're trying to do things and then running them over is the best way to collect them. I don't know about that.
One thing that I did notice is that when you collect, and this is mentioned in the manual too, is that as you collect them, it brings your energy down more. So that's actually another interesting component of like, save too many of these guys and you're going to need to collect more energy packs more frequently as the game goes on. Uh, one thing about clown cars is that while you, as, as you may be able to fit an infinite amount of clowns into one, uh, it does still add mass to the object. So you, if you go, if you get too many, you may collapse into a singularity and that's not good for your, your miles per gallon. You know what I'm saying? So you have, you have these different bikers, right? There's a, there's these enemy bikers.
There's these enemy bikers and there's like these obstacles littered throughout the screen. You have these energy packs, you have the hostages to save, there's power ups to collect.
But I don't know about you guys. It did feel at least for the first few, you know, like the first time going through it, it felt pretty empty, even though there's all these different things. I think the manual lists 23 different characters. And I never really felt like I was overwhelmed how you are in a shmup where a lot of times it's like they spoon feed you the characters one by one at the start, but then by like the second level, it's just enemy overload. That never really happened here. What about for you guys? I think a big part of that, that I noticed is that like, there's not really that many enemies that like come at you.
It's all just kind of avoiding them as you're moving other than the other bikers that kind of come up from behind. Nothing else is coming at and attacking you or half of it's not even coming towards you. Yeah. Like it, so it just felt like kind of a, a painfully slow, you know, journey through this, this corridor or, or whatever it is that like never gets too exciting because you're just kind of like, all right, you're like planning way far ahead. Like, all right, there's a power up over there. I'll go on this side. I'll turn around here. Everything's moving really slow.
Yeah. So basically this game, uh, rotates between three different kinds of levels. And, uh, the first is the one that almost looks like a race. Um, and that's when you mostly have these guys on bikes coming from behind you. Like, yeah, they are kind of an obstacle. If you, if you try and knock them out of the way in a weird way, but for the most part, they're not even paying attention to you. Um, and then you have scattered about like sparse amount of physical, of non moving obstacles.
Um, so that's the first one. The second kind of level is a much slower, much more densely packed obstacle course. Again, nothing really coming at you. There's just a lot of, uh, there's a lot of, uh, obstacles that stand still that'll shoot at you, but yeah, they don't, they don't move. Um, and then there's a very short one at the end where I guess it's sort of like a boss fight and there are some enemies that will move towards you, but they're very predictable. They're very slow. It's a, it's a kind of like anti shmup in that way. And in that regard, Sean, I think that that third stage, even that, you know, it is a little short, but that's where things just all of a sudden really ramp up with like a tank slash dinosaur character.
And, you know, and alien creatures and this thing called the brain. Um, uh, you know, these things are weird and they just show up randomly. And then you go back cause it, cause it is a cycled arcade game. You go back to zone one and all of a sudden it's just motorcycle riders again. And it just, it feels strange to be like, okay, the story seems to be that you are riding against other riders. You get like off course, you go through a obstacle course of sorts only to find out that dinosaurs have taken over the planet and mechanized themselves. And now you have to fight them in order to save all the hostages. That's the story as I perceive it. Shouldn't that be fucking awesome though?
Like mechanized dinosaurs like that. You'd think that that would be what would keep bringing you back to this game. Is this a prequel to a, what's it called? Turok? No, you know, it's not dinosaurs. I'm thinking of anyways, but what the heck is it? The game with the robot animals everywhere that the PS4 horizon zero horizon zero dawn. Yes. Hmm. That's a little, it's a bit of a stretch. It's a bit of a stretch. Cause they're not dinosaurs. Are they? Or are they? They, they're, there are dinosaur like creatures in that game. Yeah. Gotcha. I think the problem here is that it's, it's uninspired character designs here. I described for you a dinosaur tank.
Imagine if I told you, imagine if I told you that the dinosaur itself was actually just a silhouette. Yeah. You know that you don't actually get to see, like, it's not this gigantic tyrannosaurus or triceratops. It's just like the silhouette of a crocodile on top of a, what looks like a broken tank.
The way that you describe it makes me, makes me less and less happy to be here, Mike. I'm sorry about that. There's also like dinosaur fossils that you can, uh, like, I think, I think you shoot them and they're worth points or something. Little, little guys come out and you have to shoot them and get more points. It's a, it's a weird system. There's also little rock formations that if you shoot that, you get points and little stars come out. It's, it's just like, there's no internal logic, like many games of this generation, but. It's all about scoring points. It's just scoring points.
You can tell by a manual where, where it lists the enemy name and then immediately underneath it, how many points it's worth. You can tell what kind of game you're playing.
You can also tell what kind of game you're playing when it just starts to make up semi-scientific sounding words to describe those characters. Um, just to make it seem like it has a little bit more depth to it and, uh, makes it really just embarrasses itself. What, like vegetal canon? Yeah. Like it's a vegetal canon, you know, like the, like just that, that idea.
It does feel like, uh, Cycross should have had a comic tie-in of sorts just to help like explain all this stuff or add some lore. I mean, the, the deep lore is there. I mean, it's in the manual. Uh, Sean, do you want to walk us through it a little bit? I mean, so basically you're on the planet Kalura and there's different tribes.
One is the Petras and that's you. You're a Petra. And that's all the little blue guys all around the, all around the place. Those are Petras too. They were very civilized. They, they, they, they ate their meals with spoons and forks. They had manners. Uh, they, they owned like, you know, very, uh, very intricate web weavings. Um, and, uh, then there's the Bosrus and you know, they're, they're basically just like, you know, they like NASCAR. They like, uh, they like steak.
Not well done. They're like the barbarians in the civilization games. Yeah, exactly. They're the barbarians. And, uh, then I guess they, like they turned into dinosaurs. I don't know. Uh, but they, you know, they, they took over the world and you ride this thing called the Gilgit Petras. I don't know if that's supposed to mean if that's Petra for like Vespa.
Um, and that's the story. I mean, it's, it's written as if it was like a 12 year old that hasn't had an idea and wrote it down. And like, they thought that if it had more than one paragraph, it kind of looked professional. Um, yeah, I thought it was written like it was somebody telling you the idea that they have for a story. Going to write like it hasn't been written yet. These are my notes for the story.
Uh, and I also noticed that like, if you look at the story, I'm going to write a story. If you look at the characters, if you look at like the, you're the player character that Gilgit Petras, like just below him is the, the Basra biker who looks kind of cool. You know, he's got like the, the helmet with like the visor, you know, with the glass like front on and he's like leaned forward and everything. Your guy looks like he's like a paper boy or something. He's got like a helmet with like a chin strap on and like a visor. Yeah, your character looks straight out of King of the Hill.
Yeah, exactly. And the, everyone that you're fighting, uh, looks much cooler except for the ones that are just like geometric patterns. Yeah. Triangle wall is my favorite character. Cause it's under characters. It's a B level energy cannon though. Just don't forget that. Don't you think it's weird though? That like they call it the, uh, the Gilgit Petras, like as the name of the, the bike or whatever. And that's like calling it essentially like the Tesla sapien, you know, like, like the name of their people is also the name of their bike.
I would love to ride a Ford human. Yeah. It doesn't add up to me. And then another part that doesn't add up is that the Basra's are just another tribe on this planet Kalura, right? So there's two tribes, the Petra's and the Basra's. Where do the aliens come in? It's you versus the Basra's. Did the Basra's turn into aliens?
It never, it never says that. I think they should have included a sentence at best. They turned into beings from a different planet. I mean, that's entirely possible. I think that's how it really goes. Well, the game takes place underground. So maybe, um, all this alien stuff has been living underground, like Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds from 2005 with Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning. Are we underground right now? And does it ever say alien?
Uh, it says alien in the manual. Yeah. Well, maybe it's talking to us, since this is not the planet Earth. Like us as the reader, we should be considering all these people aliens.
And to answer your question, Sean, I could be reading that incorrectly, but the idea is that the Petra's were driven underground because the monsters were too violent. So, Mike, obviously you're, you're going to, you're going to miss a lot in this game. If you, if you misunderstand deep lore like that, the Petra's were forced underground, most of them, but you have been sent out after they developed, uh, they developed the, uh, Gilgit for you to go and pick up all the guys that like forgot to, to go underground. Uh, cause you're above ground. If you look at the, the, the art on the box, you're clearly above ground. There are stars. There's a black hole up there.
Um, so I think, I just think you need to, to check yourself. Understood. I will check myself at the door next time. I do love the idea that, uh, that the, the, the people you're rescuing forgot to go underground. They're like, oh shit, was that today? The day we were going to run away from the, from the Basra? Yeah. They got, they got stranded there. They ran out of gas. Their, their bikes exploded on the way there. Well, it actually said that, I thought it said that they were ex prisoners. Like they escaped, but now they need you to like, they need a ride. They barely escaped. Okay. And don't they look like, uh, you know, like cartoon British police?
Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah. So thank you for agreeing with me there, Sean. Uh, while we're on the subject of the story though, I think it's important to note that, uh, apparently both Cycross and Mag Max are based on a true story.
The, the poster, the poster reads based on a true story in big text, you know, with like a, with a big shadow drop behind it on a true story. It says in, in a little box, it really happened in the year 2342. Space monsters were attacking earth. Only you and Mag Max could save us. Meanwhile, on the planet Kalura, the barbaric Basra tribe has captured the people of Tetris. The space cycle is your only hope.
Now, I don't know about you, but the way I read that, it's like, whatever happens on, uh, on the planet Kalura is not in your hands. Like you have to, you're busy dealing with Mag Max and saving us. And then they're like, meanwhile, on this other planet, there's a whole heap of problems, but don't worry. Cause you and Mag Max are going to save earth. That's just a very strange marketing scheme of, of just saying based on a true story. I, I, I'm looking at the poster right now too. And I, I, I'm just a little overwhelmed by it. I, I, I'm, I'm not sure what's going on here.
Well, I guess we'll have to wait until 2342 about the time that we finished the podcast to find out if any of this stuff actually happens. If FCI actually is, um, uh, is a psychic. Right. And if they're not just kid stuff. Yeah. Maybe that's why it's Psycross.
Psy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Psychic. Yeah. They knew the future. Yeah, absolutely. Another vote for Psycross there. Uh, we should include that on our essential games vote later in the episode. We'll, we'll include a vote for how we think this is pronounced. Um, and spelt for that matter. Uh, you know, you'd be surprised to find out there's absolutely no sequels and spinoffs. There's absolutely nothing on development.
Uh, Nihon Busayan doesn't, doesn't talk about their games at all. And FCI are the ones porting this for North American audiences. So they could care less if you like the games or not, they just want you to buy them. Um, so the only thing really left to talk about here that I think is interesting is just that we've been playing a lot of hard NES games. Those things that are described as like Nintendo hard back in the day. We've been playing a lot of those recently. This game was not challenging at all to me.
And to be honest, like that's a little refreshing in its own right. I'd be pissed if I bought it, but to play it like this, it was fine. Yeah. It's weird to sort of contextualize your feelings on the game. I mean, we've been doing it, but it's weird to say like, I kind of like this game just because like, I have to play all of them. And this one's bad in a different way or something like that. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Uh, I, I guess I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't use that as like a hard and fast, like, uh, this is a pro for this game, but yeah, for us, like a meta commentary.
Yeah. I think that's exactly it. I like, uh, I, I don't want to play this on my own anyway, but like, because I have to play it and it's bad, I'm thankful that it's also not hard. It is. It's true. So buy this game.
So buy this game.
Just like a, just going back a little bit to the, to the game itself. I, I will say that one thing that it has going for it, uh, when it isn't being, uh, when it isn't being covered up by a bunch of nonsense sounds, like sound effects. Like I, I do kind of like the music in this game.
If you guys remember the music. I remember, I remember the music. Yeah. I think there's, I think there's something there. Uh, it's definitely better than the stuff that we've been getting because a lot of the, like in terms of arcade games too, because those arcade games usually, uh, when they get poured over to the NES, they have like the same, the same sounds for all of them. So this was interesting, but also it's following racket attack, which had a very long, interesting soundtrack, like a very diverse set of music. So it is a tough act to follow.
I also thought, I didn't, I didn't, don't remember disliking it, but it was just the one track, right? For the most part, I, at least it was longer than 10 seconds. I'm just fishing for things now, I guess. Well, that's okay. It's important to fish. Uh, there's no fishing in the game though too. So that's, that's another strike against it. More, more games need to, why didn't, what did this game not learn from Red Dead Redemption 2? Or what did Red Dead Redemption 2 not learn from this game? It does work both ways. Yeah. They, they didn't give the, uh, the motorcycle any testicles. I did notice that. You never got to like comb, comb your motorcycle's mane.
All right. Uh, we're obviously fishing now. So I'm, I'm, I think we've decided a lot of things, but we need to decide whether Psycross is an essential game or not. And we're going to do that in the essential games list.
Welcome to the essential games list. All right. Since you want to start it so badly, why don't you just go ahead and vote? All right. I can't really, uh, do anything to make our listeners right now, uh, feel any sort of suspense as to where I'm going to vote this.
Uh, usually I, usually I am pretty like forgiving to a lot of games. Like I just, this game just was not fun. There, there was, there was nothing that I particularly enjoyed, uh, about it. I mean, I, I guess it's weird because I can't, I can't really find like, like a glaring, like, wow, this is atrocious. There was just like the combination of everything feeling so dull to me just made it for like an uninspired experience. So I'm going to say not essential. And how do you pronounce it? I pronounce it Psycross and I, and I'll, and I'll spell it S-I-G-H because, because I Psy. Understood. Very clever. And you were the person who came up with that. So I'll allow it. Right. I will make that joke twice on this podcast. Yes. Sean, will you vote?
Um, I, I actually, oh, okay. I love, I'm just taking control of the whole, the whole essential game. I won't vote. Um, I mean, I, I think that in, in the, uh, the pantheon of shmups or shmup likes that we played, I'd put this in the middle somewhere. Like I didn't hate the game. I, it was smooth enough to play. Uh, it, it didn't have, it did have some, at least interesting aesthetic choices that I think a lot of shmups that we played didn't have. Uh, all that being said, it's not an essential game. Uh, but I will say that is on the list of essential games that made me think that maybe this would be like Jet Moto, but wasn't. So this is number one on that list.
Um, but I would pronounce it, say across, say across. Ooh. Okay. Yeah. Uh, I'm going to spell it. Spelled like acai. Acai cross. Yes. A C A I C R O S S. That's fantastic. And before I get my vote here, I just want to say that according to one poster that I was able to find for a C C R S, uh, this is for the arcade version. It seems like Gilgit is actually the name of the player and not the name of the bike.
In which case that doesn't, you know, like that kind of takes back what we said earlier about calling things Tesla sapiens or Ford humans. No, no, no. Okay. The, the, the poster does not override the manual. The manual says the Petras developed a mini size rescue bike, which they called Gilgit Petras. Okay. I think mini size rescue bike is what they call the guy. Yeah. That's what, that's his name. Oh, his name is mini size rescue bike. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. I like that. You know, here's where I stand on this game. It's not essential.
And, you know, I almost wonder like, would this, you know, like would a ROM hack of this game where it just goes like even 5% faster, make it a more thrilling experience? Probably not, but it is very slow. And that's something we didn't cover too much because we were so busy just talking about how there's not much happening anyway. So I don't think speeding it up would make it an essential game.
You know, I really feel like Joe was onto something early on with that Tron light bike thing. They should have focused more on something because they had the aesthetic look, you know, like there is some cool stuff here, uh, graphically. So I think they should have tried to do that and do something with that. That wasn't so simple. Now I get it that it's just a port of an arcade game and I don't know when the arcade game came out. So for all we know, it was just like, what do we want to do? Uh, you know, games are different now. I don't care. Just port the one that we made four years ago. You know, like that, it could have happened. It could have happened and it has happened.
Nobody changed anything for Pac-Man on the NES, right? But that one was good. So go figure. Uh, as for how I am spelling this, you know, I'm, I always saw it as Seacross. So I'm just going to go back to that and just call it Seacross. And I got one last thing, uh, in comparison to apparently it's sister game Mag Max.
Um, the, uh, the tank dinosaur has nothing on gigantic mechanical monster Babylon. Which is just like an amazing, uh, name and title, you know? Like imagine if you ran into that thing in Skyrim, like how you discover dragons, you know? Like, you know how like it shows up with text of like the dragon you've discovered at that moment. It's like, imagine if it was like, you know, great, what did you call it? Gigantic mechanical? You found gigantic mechanical monster Babylon. That would be so cool in an Elder Scrolls game. Yeah. So make it happen, Bethesda. Um. Todd, we know. Todd. We know you're listening, Todd.
And, uh, we will port Skyrim to Nostalgia. We will, uh, record all lines of dialogue from the game and we'll say them all. Yeah. There'll be, uh, uh, there'll be an audio book reading of, uh, the Lusty Argonian Maid and all that fun stuff. We'll, we'll do the whole thing.
Only for our Patreon members though. Yes. So if you want, yeah. If you want this, you're going to have to, uh, subscribe to our Patreon. You'll have to create a Patreon for us and, uh, put that as one of the, I don't know, stretch goals. It's one of the rules actually is that for anybody who wants to be a Patreon subscriber for Nostalgia, you have to make a separate Patreon page for us. So like the one that, you know, Barry makes has to be different than the one that Tom makes. Everybody has to make us. We see you, Barry. I see you, Barry. Every day in my sleep. Um, okay. And I, that's because I sleep at the day, not at night. So that's why I said every day rather than every night.
Joe, anything to say? You've been a little quiet? No, I've just been listening, you know, just, uh, I, I, I got nothing to add to, to your, uh, sleeping habits. Okay. That's good to know. Next week we have Spy vs. Spy from Mad Magazine. Did you guys ever read Mad Magazine grown up? Oh, I used to. Yeah. When I was a kid, I, I got them at the library.
The best way to go. I didn't really, but, uh, but you know, I'm aware of all the little, uh, segments of it. He's with it. I didn't know that they were a part of it. I did not know that they were a part of Mad Magazine. Yeah. Those two cone-headed spies. They were fun. Ish. Not really. It was never really that good. We'll see. Yeah. I don't like the kid. Yeah. He looks weird. What's his name? Mad?
Uh, Max. No, it's like, we'll, we'll, we'll remember next week. We'll talk. That's good. Yeah. We'll talk more about Mad Magazine next week. So if you loved Mad Magazine and you're mad at us for not even knowing anything about it, I promise to read one classic issue of Mad Magazine by next week's recording. Back to front. Yeah. Uh, the, the, the Japanese way.
All right. Uh, I'm Michael Esposito. Uh, this has been Nostalgia. You can find us on Twitter at NostalgiaCast. Posting things all the time. We got a lot of engagement recently. So if you're, if you're liking engagement and you're liking posts in general, we want you to like our posts because that boosts engagement. Yeah. Like our posts, consume product and, uh, know that it's fine to consume our product because no one profits off of it. Not even us. All proceeds always go back to, um, I don't know. Jeff Bezos. Yeah. The pod, the podcast itself. Oh yeah. Jeff Bezos. That's good. Yeah. You call him Bezos, huh? I call him Sysos. Sysos. Oh my gosh. All right. That's it. We're done. I'm Michael Judo. You can find me at Esposito Film on Twitter and I'll talk to you soon.
We'll talk to you soon. Thank you.
